I’m glad I’m a woman!!!!

I'm glad I'm a woman, yes I am, yes I am.
I don't live off of Budweiser, Beer Nuts and Spam.
I don't brag to my buddies about my erections.
I won't drive to Hell before I ask for directions.

I don't get wasted at parties, and act like a clown.
And I know how to put that damned toilet seat down!
I won't grab your hooters, I won't pinch your butt.
My belt buckle's not hidden beneath my beer gut.

And I don't go around "re-adjusting" my crotch,
or yell like Tarzan when my headboard gets a notch.
I don't belch in public, I don't scratch my behind.
I'm a woman you see-I'm just not that kind!

I'm glad I'm a woman, I'm so glad I could sing.
I don't have body hair like shag carpeting.
It doesn't grow from my ears or cover my back.
When I lean over you can't see 3 inches of crack.

And what's on my head doesn't leave with my comb.
I'll never buy a toupee to cover my dome.
Or have a few hairs pulled from over the side.
I'm a woman, you know-I've got far too much pride!

And I honestly think its a privilege for me,
To have these two boobs and to squat when I pee.
I don't live to play golf and shoot basketball.
I don't swagger and spit like a Neanderthal.

I won't tell you my wife just does not understand,
Or stick my hand in my pocket to hide that gold band.
Or tell you a story to make you sigh and weep,
Then screw you, roll over and fall sound asleep!

Yes, I'm so very glad I'm a woman, you see.
Forget all about that old penis envy.
I don't long for male bonding, I don't cruise for chicks
Join the Hair Club For Men, or think with my dick.

I'm a woman by chance and I'm thankful, it's true. !!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Published in Senior Chatters


  1. macathy

    Very good Pollie I’m glad I’m a women too,but then it is nice to have those men around as well,they do have something nice ,give good cuddles don’t they?

  2. "J"

    I am still glad to be a man!! I am glad you a woman, I would hate to kiss me. I am glad you a woman cos I surly wouldn’t pinch my own butt. :O:O:O

  3. pollie Post author

    thanks for comments macathy( i agree with you on the cuddles bit lol!!!,) j-smile,( I’m glad your a man too, and i would kiss ya and pinch your butt if i was allowed that is haha!!!) and jcb( yes i am worn out haha!!!!) appreciate you all reading thanks again…

  4. midema4

    Yes, I’m glad I’m a woman, too, but men are OK. Men are good for a couple of things, moving heavy furniture, and so on. (haaa-ha,ha).

  5. waylander

    Not all of us men belch, show 3 inches of but crack, shout “wooo hoo” when we’ve seduced a woman.

    Some of us have just a little more class than that.

    Not many I grant and not me……….but there are some……somwhere, lol

  6. merlou

    thanks for the poem,I lost my husband recently but had to laught,also new toS C found it helps a lot