If You Would You

If you could give your  20 year old self advice what would it be.   Would you have chosen another Country to live in?

I am talking as if you have not yet got married and had a family, we all know we wouldn't ever regret the children we have, maybe the spouses - yes... lol, but would we choose to have children the second time around?

Would we decide to be more adventurous  and explore the many Countries of the world?  As we age do you ever look back and feel there was so much more to see and experience out there?

I know times were different in the past and the opportunities were not as they are today, but if they had been would you?

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Published in Questions & Trivia


      1. roseinbloom

        Thank you, Starlet. I had been taught fairly well and here in America we had an incredible faith in the future and in our ability to succeed. I grew up in a very optimistic time and a time when women were gaining rights.
        I did move to a city, 500 miles away, where there were jobs and more opportunities. I considered America “the land of opportunity” and it was way back then. I also spoke no other language and found learning one almost impossible.
        Advice that I would give a young woman today would be to prepare yourself for a career because you will most likely have to support yourself and your children at some point in your life. That’s what I did. The laws do not provide for women and children anymore.

  1. Drummer

    Hi Starlette I guess I am one of the lucky ones – I truly cannot think of anything that I would do different and I am too old to look forward and hope for continued good health – and some nice friends on Chatters.

    1. starlette Post author

      Hello Drummer, we only ever regret the things we didn’t do………nice to hear that you wouldn’t change a thing…….may your good health and cheerful disposition continue…….

  2. cappuccino

    When I was 9,I was asked if I wanted to go to Canada or Australia..I said Canada,so they shipped me off to Australia.(thats beaurocracy for you )…At 20,I was saving for a ticket to canada,but a shotgun marriage put a stop to that….My advise to me would have been.. “Keep it in yer pants”…….. Yes,I did eventually explore the world,but it had to be put on hold till the kids grew up.

    1. starlette Post author

      Haaaa capps………that little brain that is hidden in the pants has a lot to answer for…….its still getting many into trouble……….good on you for eventually getting to see the world, memories made…..

    2. roseinbloom

      Cappucino, Did your dreams get derailed, or did you have a “NORMAL” life with a wife and children? We never know what the other path would have been. Most of us get caught up in love, sex, having children because nature takes control of us. Overcoming our natural urges is the key to reaching goals we set for ourselves at every stage of life.
      In old age, we got one job, “to take care of ourselves” but that seems to spoil most of our fun. I guess the same is true when we are twenty.

  3. Maree

    Ohhh lol good question. As an impulsive strong headed you woman i would say listen to your parents they have you best interests at heart.

    Dont thank that being in love you will stay in love so choose your partner wisely once you have actually grown up.

    Broken marriages often scar one for life.

    So many things when you think bout it …as a woman value yourself value learning . Get an education and make a path for yourself in life.

    1. roseinbloom

      Maree, you have the right idea, but I would say to a young person to expect to make some mistakes and when you do just focus on correcting the mistakes and getting back on track and learn what you can. If we listened to our parents then we would be lamenting that we never really lived our life at all. Life is complicated.

      1. starlette Post author

        We give advice to our children, but that is usually attributed to our own mistakes and experiences in life………. but in all honesty we cannot shape someone else’s future from our past……..they have to live and learn from their own experiences and mistakes……

  4. starlette Post author

    Very good advice from you there Maree………..live your life before you decide to share it with others……..once a mother and husband/wife others come first…….just the way it is……..

    1. starlette Post author

      Good point colin……….but speaking personally I have always had my own mind re religion, politics and rules …………never been brainwashed as so many are…….have to abide by some rules yes………but not easily swayed by the powers that be…

        1. starlette Post author

          Ty Rose….good manners cost nothing……..and that’s what I have always instilled in my two children and Grandson……..

          1. roseinbloom

            Starlette, good manners cost nothing and they do pay big dividends, so it is the best thing you can give your children and young people.

  5. davidrv

    I would say “Brace yourself, it’s a roller coaster of a life; looks exciting from the sidelines, has its ups and downs, twists and turns. When you get in the final straightaway, you’ll be glad that you were in for the ride.”

    1. starlette Post author

      By gum David that ride can be sooooooo tough at times……….just hope that when we are on the final straightway we have many good memories to look back on…..

  6. rose1943

    At times I thought I made a mistake marrying at age 20. Other times so very happy having all 3 children in my 20’s when I had loads of energy and enthusiasm to give them all I could. It was a pleasure, believe me. Now they’re in their 40’s and 50’s and it makes me happy to see them carrying the roots and wings I tried to give them. My husband (now of 53 years) didn’t ‘grow up’ until later. When I would get angry about this I always tried to bring back the memory of how and why I fell in love with him. So, I guess things have worked out very nicely. Beautiful children, grandchildren and the last ‘bird’ hasn’t as yet left the nest and lives in our downstairs apt. We ALL make mistakes for sure. Just keep following the path you are on and do your best!

  7. starlette Post author

    Hello Rose, I don’t think we would ever see our children as mistakes……..just thoughts of how perhaps we would do things differently next time around, pre children, spouses and responsibility’s……

  8. rose1943

    You’re right, Starlette. Some people, however, at that age of 20, don’t have the opportunity to go to college, etc. and just get a job the way their parents expect them to do and start paying them back the way they expect you to do. If that is their tradition, it is what it is. But you take whatever is good in life and make the best of it.

  9. Sansoar

    Nice to be participating in discussions again at SC! From my viewpoint today, I would say that my youthful self needed to hear that she has a lot to offer and she shouldn’t settle for good enough. Of course, as said by others having my children young is something I never regret. Wonderful being a young Nana!
    I am really grateful to have lived in an era when I didn’t need to do things in the usual order. So for me, kids first, then education and then a great career- love relationships …. oh gosh… a lifelong learning process!!

  10. starlette Post author

    Hi there Sansoar………….as my young self I would tell myself…….never sell yourself short, your as good as anyone else and twice as better as some, believe in yourself, and if you set your mind to something you can do it………….never be afraid of failure, you will never know unless you try……… know your own worth and don’t settle for less………if you set the bar low then that’s as far as you will go……..aim high always……

  11. Sansoar

    Thank you Starlette for your comments. Gosh, I wish I had your advice at 20! Good grief.. to be perfectly honest, maybe I need it still!! Lol

  12. splendid

    Hello Starlette,

    I have often asked people a similar question relative to ….if you had to do it over, what would you choose/do? I do not have any big regrets, as I took a very long term vision of my choices and their likely outcomes. Most importantly, they were my choices.
    Education and a great job were at the top of my goals. Enjoyed dating many young men. Philosophy – why settle for one guy when you can date many? Having financial freedom due to the education and job first choices, wanted to become a student of the world next. Visited every continent on the globe, met so many people, learned so much about myself and others. It has made life so interesting and enjoyable. I haven’t had a boring moment. Found peace and contentment in a natural paradise of my choosing where I have started a whole new life. Hold old friends close, but continue a life of wonder and gratitude. Sometimes, when I do look back, I can’t believe my blessings. I think that is because I was never ‘looking back’ along the way.

  13. starlette Post author

    Hello Splendid, good on you to have the long term vision of the life you wanted and to see it through, very strong resolve needed, being educated and landing a good job enabled you to live the life you chose………no probs in dating plenty of guys, I’m sort of guessing you didn’t fall in love with them or maybe you wouldn’t have continued on the path you chose………. I would say you have lived a exciting and adventurous life and made many memories………you could say you was blessed, but in actual fact you made it happen, it wasn’t luck in my opinion……..your sheer determination and hard work made it happen….,.


    keepoff the streetsuntil your sure they can survive intheoutsideworld given sounddvice isn t asyre way toknow that there safe but andits big butt tell hem towork hard play hard and win anywayyou can

  15. Kanuth

    Being 70 and not having done much with my life, I don’t think I’d qualify to give advice to anyone regardless of their age. I’ve spent most of my life trying to figure out what’s going on to no avail. When looking at what appears to be a star that’s actually a galaxy with maybe a hundred billion stars within it, I suspect that none of us can figure it out.

  16. starlette Post author

    Hi there Kanuth……….yes I think life is a stumbling block, we get through it the best we can….and hopefully learn along the way….or do we………matters of the heart I am not so sure….we are very emotional beings and things don’t change much in that respect….