If I would have _________ (fill in the blank), I’d be happy!

If I would have  _________ (fill in the blank), I'd be happy!

Has anyone heard this before? Has anybody said this before?
For many years I have heard this. At first I thought, hmmm, that's real easy to do, just fulfill the wish and voilà! Instant happiness.
Turns out it's just the tip of the iceberg. Either the real wish is buried deep inside or there is only this feeling of not being satisfied, ever.
In my case it was a double mistake. I just wanted to fix something fast, and move on.
The lesson I've learned is to be patient. To live every moment as it happens, slowing down.
I wish that everyone could be at peace with themselves. There is only so much that a person can do. We don't have to carry the weight of the world on our shoulders.
There is no one-liner that will explain everything either. No monk on top of a mountain with THE answer. Although the view might be breathtaking...
So it's ok to have made mistakes, to still make mistakes. At least it means that a person is trying something different.
If it's not too scary, imagine being on your death bed. What would be most important to you at that moment, really important? I've done that exercise many years ago. For me it would be to have no regrets. To know that I've done the best I could in regards to my immediate family. Most of all, that if I couldn't help, at least I didn't make a situation worse.
Just me rambling on before we get Easter cards and gifts for the family. Life without grandchildren would be oh so boring. Giving is indeed better than receiving.
Happy Easter.

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Published in Senior Chatters


  1. starlette

    Hi David, well maybe there would be some things I would do differently, but I certainly don’t live in regrets, life is a learning experience, and I learnt along the way, still learning, I don’t sweat over the small stuff anymore, I try to think rationally when I am concerned about something, and not imagine the worst case scenario……..have never intentionally hurt anyone, but in relationships I guess I have, unrequited love and all that……..always done the best for my family, and will continue to do so till I draw my last breath, and my wishes on my deathbed would be that they will always be there for each other………a good family is all…..xx

  2. CSweet51

    My first thought of course was money…Then I realized how little that really matters in life. sure it helps but it is so far from what one needs in life. Family and Friendship. Being loved and Loving others
    “If I would have ‘Good Health’, I’d be happy
    I wish I had lived my life in a much healthier way. Many things would be different.
    I am blessed with family and friends.

  3. lani36

    One wish I always wished I had was to have had my Mother live a longer life than she did , so I could take her back to England to see her much loved country again and see it through her eye’s,…..
    thr only wish I have is to see England before it’s my time to leave this mortal coil …xx

  4. macathy

    I don’t have regrets about life,I always pray that I have given my kids the where with all to realise that” love “is the most important thing in life.i hope I wave set them up so their lives will be happy.Hope yours is going well David Happy Easter xxxx

  5. foreveryoung2

    I’ve made some big mistakes in my life David and I am paying dearly for one now. My regret is that I didn’t see what was happening right under my nose until it was too late. I wish I had known about this earlier and my life would have taken, hopefully, a different direction before I got too old. I believe now that our paths are preordained – some to be rich, some to be happy, some to be sad, some to be kicked in the guts, etc., etc. My path has been the latter and I live in hope that something will change before I depart this world. I am 72 years old and I have only been truly happy once in my life and that was only for a short time. I have been betrayed by so many people including family, and I don’t know why. One of my friends said that I am too giving and too trusting. I’m not bitching David, I have come to the conclusion that that is the path chosen for me but it doesn’t stop me from hoping, even this late in life. On my deathbed I would breathe a sigh of relief that it is all over. I have contemplated suicide, but with my luck it would probably fail and I would be worse off 🙁 Damn!!!!!!!
    Enjoy your life and your grandchildren David xoxo

    1. davidrv Post author

      I’m so sorry to hear this foreveryoung. While reading your reply, I was thinking of a person very close to me.
      I wish I could change something but I’ve tried and tried without much success. What broke my heart was when she said that she had to put on a happy face in some situations. I never expected to hear this after being with her for close to 8 years.
      So now I am more attentive. I pay attention to details. Every day it starts all over again. It’s tiresome but necessary.
      I tell her to let it go, whatever she desperately holds on to. It’s like you said, she thinks that she doesn’t deserve to be happy.
      Wishing you the courage to find happiness again; sometimes it is not what you would expect.