HOW TO SEDUCE A WOMAN – C 2009 JoJo
I want to preface this blog by saying that it’s being written from just my own perspective. It is also gleaned from what I have observed and learned from personal experience and that of other women I’ve known throughout my life, regarding what sexual approach they like/dislike. I don’t pretend to be an expert, and I haven’t even read Alfred C. Kinsey’s Reports on Sexual Behaviour in the Human Male and Female, but these are the conclusions I’ve learned as a graduate (summa cum laude) of the School of Hard Knocks.
Back when I was young (roughly after the Civil War) I was being ardently courted by a Brazilian lad named Sergio. He was tall, handsome, with dark brown eyes, brown hair and (if memory serves me right) he had a very nice bod too.
Early one morning, at 2.00 a.m. I was awakened from a deep sleep by someone singing under my bedroom window. I got up, went to the window, and there was Sergio, standing in the moonlight, serenading me while strumming on his guitar. Now I swear I think it extremely unlikely that there will be a single woman on this site reading about this serenade who won’t be saying “Aahh!”
In Brazil of that era, it was traditional to serenade your beloved in this manner. If a guy couldn’t sing a note in tune, it didn’t matter – he’d hire some balladeer to do the job for him. The balladeer would huddle in the shadows, out of sight, warbling a romantic song and playing a guitar, while the ardent swain would stand in full view, under his beloved’s window, gazing upwards, hoping she’d make an appearance and toss him a rose.
I knew I was expected to toss down a rose to Sergio, but I didn’t have one, so I threw him a chocolate bar I had on my dresser instead. He caught it, clasped it to his bosom, declaring he would never eat it which to my mind, was a waste of a perfectly good bar of chocolate, but still.
At that point my father rushed out onto the balcony off his bedroom in a fury, and hurled pebbles he kept up there for the purpose of discouraging amorous cats who had a habit of coming into our garden for their matings (and I’m sure you all know what that sounds like!)!
Dad’s aim was unerring. With a yelp, Sergio leaped over our garden wall and hightailed it out of there. Alas, I never saw him again.
Note gentlemen that all these many years later, boyfriends and lovers have come and gone, and have faded into obscurity – but I have never forgotten either the event, or Sergio.
Whatever has happened to the ancient art of wooing? Why has it fallen by the wayside?
I honestly think that the strongest and most powerful seductive arsenal and enticement a man can have are … words. Yes, words that touch a woman’s heart and emotions, because I think that, in most cases, for a woman to be seduced physically, she must first be seduced emotionally. That’s where wooing should come into play.
The first time I was in the Lobby of the Chat Room on this site, one of the guys (who shall remain nameless) asked “Are you hot JoJo?” No preamble, no getting to know me, no niceties – he just cut to the chase. I answered him by saying that no, I wasn’t hot because it’s still cold up here in Canada.
Compare that approach to being serenaded. Ladies do you agree – no contest and that Sergio would’ve won out by a country mile?
I know there is that old saying “Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker.” I think that any man who’d employ this approach wouldn’t be worth my time.
I suppose there are women who enjoy a crude approach like the one I got in the Chat Room. But I am not one of them, nor have I ever met a woman who was.
Soft words gentlemen, courtship, wooing, making her feel special and taking an interest in her as a woman and not just as a sex object – I believe that will seduce a woman faster than any other kind of approach. I don’t think a woman worthy of her salt, would settle for anything less.
But hey, this is just my opinion!
totally agree and when ‘he’ sees you looking like an absolute mess, loves the fact your a bit clumsy, loves to hear you talk, says you look lovely if you hair has a tinge of green, sings you a song….always has his arms ready for a lovely bear hug and calls you his ‘angel’……..and that is from a ‘very’ good friend and is he wooing me ~ you betcha he is!!!!!!!! yep I’m putty!!!!…xxx
I know exactly what you mean debz! Thanks so much for the comment.
I agree as well jojo – do you think there are still men out there like your Sergio???
I’m sure there are men out there like my Sergio, foreveryoung – but they are alas, few and far between! Thanks a lot for your comment.
Of course there is FY.
Unfortunately,my gittar playing is rubbish,I sing like a strangulated cane toad and the bod has gone to seed.
Mebbe i could carry your shopping?
Haha cappuccino, there’s a great deal to be said for a gent who looks after his lady by carrying her shopping for her – which implies he’s even been willing to GO shopping with her – a huge concession for men. Never met a man yet who enjoys shopping!
Thanks so much for your comment.
Any time cappuccino 🙂
Dear Jo, I agree with the thought of the writing, but alas I have never been the recipient of any such gentlemanly action. It is lovely to dream about though.
Well I’ve only been serenaded by a handsome beau just that one time wandering1, but it was unforgettable. I think perhaps Brazilians go in for that kind of wooing more than they do in our part of the world. It was not uncommon in my day in Brazil – can’t speak for how things are down there nowadays.
Don’t give up hope dear wandering one – it could still happen! I hope it does, because you richly deserve it sweetie.
Um, anyways I brung ya these flowerz I got a da Catlick church ovah on Wabash. Tlhey wuz gonna toss ’em an I said hey, lemme have sum a them cuz I know this dame what likes flowerz and sh.., I mean stuff like that, ya know what I’m sayin’? So’z anyways ya don’ gotta tank me.
Oldbull, I am bowled over by the romantic sentiments expressed in your comment, in regard to those Catlick flowers, and am somewhat relieved that you didn’t nick them from a [Catlick cemetery! 🙂
Thanks so much for your comment.
Jo jo , what a lovely story. Yepa bit of wooing and romance will do it for me , provided those sweet niceties and good manners continue in a relaxed manner. We,ve all heard about the Frog who turned into a Prince, welllllll, the odd Prince does turn into a toad now and then.
Cag, isn’t it strange how so many men nowadays don’t cotton on to the fact that we women looove to be romanced.
Thanks so much for your comment.
You are so right JoJo. I think words are so powerful and always show a part of that person that may not have been revealed before, or, the words draw you in and you want to know more.
If you listen to someone speak or read what they write, I think they often reveal their true self.
Being courted is exciting…and flattering….and just plain wonderful…lol.
Romance is wonderful and so often neglected. So is intimacy…and I don’t mean the physical “wham bam” stuff…it’s the touching of the arm, the finishing of the sentence, the cup of tea put in front of you before you realize that is exactly what you need….the little things….
Love and romance seem to have been set aside over the years for physical gratification….I have been seeing the resurgence of romance lately….and I am certainly happy to see it return.
Thank you for this post JoJo…it made me smile.
I couldn’t agree with you more Beth – intimacy is a whole lot more than just hopping into bed together. I also agree with you that words are the truest form of expression and that you can tell a great deal about a person simply from the way they speak and the words they use. The pen definitely is mightier than the sword!
I hope you’re right that you’re right about the resurgence of romance lately – it is such a pleasurable part of being wooed.
Thanks so much for your comment.