Gossip. The Same As Bullying
What do you think of gossip and gossipers. I know if you are lucky, you just don’t take it too seriously. Most of you do it or others have done it to you because of a loose tongue that is just not bridled. But there is a more dangerous and more malicious kind of gossip and it struck me that it is exactly the kind of mischief that is called Bullying today.
An individual or a group of individuals target a person and spread malicious stories that are untrue about a person and do it with intention. I have been the victim of gossip and the gossipers were people that I had trusted and I was extremely shocked when I discovered the depth and the maliciousness and the organization of their tangled webs. These people were acting out of jealousy and boredom mostly. Having a common enemy is a glue that binds groups. Being jealous and bored is a Molotov cocktail ready to be mixed and thrown.
I have not been a victim of gossip on this site to my knowledge so I am not writing this about any incident or person that has been or is a member of Senior Chatters. I do know that wherever there are people, and idle chatter, there can be gossip.
One thing is for sure. We do need to take gossipers seriously. I read an article that describes eight flavors of gossip: slander, dishing, rumors, backstabbing, not really joke-jokes, whispered innuendo, got this all wrong, and planting seeds. These need know no explanation. We all have been guilty a little with all of these. With most it is a momentary thing and pretty harmless, but for others it is a way of life.
Most of us are oblivious to the gossip until we find ourselves in a tangled web of intrigue and lies, and we have to unwind the web back to the weavers and find a person, or persons that were supposed to be a trusted person, or a friend, or a family member, or a loved one. I think most of us have had episodes of this kind of thing, but I am always so shocked and hurt by this type of thing when I am the victim. I guess I should just be more focused on gaurding myself against it and get over the “shock and awe”.
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Gossips Bloom , I feel are to be pitied,ther’e usually people of very little consequence in their lives, so they talk about issues which may or may not have truth in them, very hurtful to say the least, the least surprising thing is really it’s usually someone that they are jelous of….
Or sometimes from a feeling of superiority or imagined grandiosity however it is my beleif those people really are insecure…
The sad part about Gossiping is that too many are so willing to listen and believe what they hear, without seeking the truth from which ever matter that has been raised .
My advice has always been when sought, rejoice ! if one is gossiped about becasue I do beleive that, “GOSSIP MAKES ONE FAMOUS”…. xx
In my family, I may be FAMOUS.
he he he bloom x
Hi Bloom,I hear gossip sometimes and the source of such gossip is not from people I consider as friends,I try and sift what is gossip and what is news because the gossipers target must be a person I know with some depth in order for the revelance of what is conveyed to make sense or some form of association with the person gossiped about.Gossip in itself is interpreted as such by the person listening,but what is gossip and what is news ? I like to probe a gossiper with more questions and mostly a gossiper cant relate the whole story,they have little bits and one wonders whether its 2nd,3rd or 4th hand that they are talking about.People I know who have qualified as gossipers are those I will not tell too much to,on the other hand those I consider as friends I can talk about anything and it always remains contained.Gossipers have gossiper friends and they have gossiper friends and they have gossiper friends etc etc,they are people to avoid or only talk to about the weather,sport,or any other neutral issues but never any personal issues.
Lani, I wanted and appreciate your comments. Gossip makes one famous is an interesting thought.
We know that celebrities need it, but there is the destructive kind that people are believing about you.
Also, another great point. The LISTENERS are a BIG part of the problem..
Thank you sylvester, for you well stated comment and I agree with everything you say. Gossip, unlike news, is first mean spirited, and then it is also biased. No sources are cheked or corroborated nor is their any attempt to get back the the individual for verification before spreading it. Gossip also has no good purpose. For example, I hear Rose is having marital problem and we all need to support her every way we can. Talk about other people shoud have a good purpose. I want you to meet rose, she loves to bake and is happy to share recipes or let you watch. Thanks again sylvester. I heard it said, if they will gossip to you they will gossip about you.
Hello Rose, Oooooo i love a bit of juicy gossip…..seriously though, i think we know the gossipers and take what they say with a pinch of salt, sometimes i will put them on the spot and ask how they have come by all this information, this usually throws them, it’s like Chinese whispers, by the time it reaches you everyone has added their own bit on to make it more dramatic then the actual story, no !! i have no time for them, can spot a gossip a mile away, you can tell they are relishing in relating it to you, they have this excited look about them when they are telling you, makes them feel important because they are the first to pass rubbish on to you, ……i also find they have no intellectual conversation to offer and gossip is the only way in which they can converse….but malicious gossip has been responsible for individuals taking their own lives, so yes it is a form of abusive mental bullying…..xx.
just thought might read the OED meaning of Gossip. Can you just see all you people sitting here and there all gossiping for hours, even sitting in the SC lobby as well, you would be speechless with nothing to talk about, everyone talks about someone, its nature, whether it malicious or benign, how strange that the word. Even just by talking about in a blog we all gossip, as with your pals or friends, women or men alike, we can’t get enough of a bit of a gossip.
“Gossip” how it change to something good to now meaning spiteful and derogatory about people.
[ Late Old English godsibb, ‘godfather, godmother, baptismal sponsor’, literally ‘a person related to one in God’, from god ‘God’ + sibb ‘a relative’ (see sib). In Middle English the sense was ‘a close friend, a person with whom one gossips’, hence ‘a person who gossips’, later (early 19th century) ‘idle talk’ (from the verb, which dates from the early 17th century).
Casual or unconstrained conversation or reports about other people, typically involving details which are not confirmed as true:
A conversation about other people; an instance of gossiping: she just comes round here for a gossip]
Starlette. Thank you for tour comment and you said a lot. You capture the SPIRIT of gossip and gossipers. I read, “The one with fresh gossip is the QUEEN for a day”.
Also, it is very interesting to me, that you notice “the excited look”. You also mention questioning, If you question them, they will change the subject or make a get away and put you on the top of their list. Also, no intellectual conversation, I think that should be spread far and wide, so that most of us know gossipers lack the focus of learning and honesty.
vonMichael, I have heard this and I have to say that I find all kinds of support for it. We all should spread this, so people should know that when you gossip, you are lowering yourself to the lowest of MINDS.
Teddyted, you bring another aspect of gossip into the conversation, that gossip does pass along information and is part of the socializing process. Today, we have social medial and smart phones, we do not have to rely on people to pass on news and we can quickly get back to the source., if we want to know that we actually are getting true and unbiased information. I did not quote the Bible, but you may want to do that. The Bible states very well and warns against gossip and gossipers. I do believe the Bible got ir right on gossip and the Bible is a wisdom source even if you don’t believe every word was inspired.
Ted, people have many perceptions of gossip and there are many types of gossip, but almost none is like a time bomb just ready to explode.
Your right Teds…..there’s just passing the time of day kind of gossip, general chit chat….but then there’s the bad kind where slander and lies are spread……xx
yes gossip is just two or more people just passing nothing better than to do with their time true or untrue. slander is a crime of action against one’s false spoken statement to their reputation.
From an American friend of mine I learned this:
Sophisticated minds discuss ideas,
Average minds discuss events,
Low minds discuss other people.
It seems that makes sense, doesn’t it?
von does not take a genius to work that out, simple logic answers for the three minds.
If I find my self gossiping, I feel bad, idle minds & all that.
sarte, I did read that gossipers don’t feel good. It is easy to get caught up in gossip, and we all need to be aware and be ready to ward if off. Thank you for your sharing and insight.
Certainly does Michael x
A very much appreciate all comment; they have the ring of truth and they greatly expand the subject. Each and everyone has given people a chance to get a many views on gossip and gossipers and have stated it in a unique way. I hope the discussion continues. Every comment here has a great deal of value and merit and when put together is a pretty complete coverage of gossip. If I or any of you think of something we have left out we all need to come back and post again. I hope others will share their thoughts also.