GOLF, AND WHY I WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND THE GAME
My father used to play golf. At one stage he played off a 3 handicap.
Me? I never understood the game.
I mean you start off with the little white dimpled ball in your hand and what do you do? You put it down and belt it as hard as you can with a big stick. You hit it as hard as you can. Making it go as far as you can until it disappears from view.
OK, So it’s now gone. What do you do? You tramp through the wet grass and bushes in a desperate attempt to find the damned thing again. If it’s that important to you why the hell did you belt it with the big stick?
So now you’ve found it again. It’s sat in the middle of a bush, in the middle of a pile of fox crap. Now any normal person would say yuk and walk away. Not so the golfer. He/she’ll line themselves up swing the big stick again and whack! Ball flies off downrange and fox crap flies everywhere. Nice!
The hunt is on again. More wet grass, more fox crap, more……….dear god what was that you just stepped in? Until finally you find the damned thing again. There it sits. In the rough. Covered in fox shit. Filthy! Disgusting! Are you down heartened? You should be, but no. Not the golfer. You love it.
So whack it again and, with luck and a following wind, you’re “on the green” or perhaps that bunker set on the front left of the green.
If you’re in the bunker the language suddenly deteriorates. Little ladies swear like troopers as they hack at the sand and the ball in a desperate attempt to get the damned crap covered once white spherical object out and up onto the smooth grass of the green. Why not just pick it up (wearing gloves of course cause of the fox crap) and throw it? Not allowed? Oh OK.
So you’re now on the green.
You select another stick. The aim now is to hit the once white sphere into that little hole. What hole? The one with the long stick with a flag on it. No I don’t know why either, it’s just what golfers do.
And when they get the ball into the hole what do they do? They pick it up. Now it’s back in their possession. Do they keep it? Do they hell as like.
They put it down, whack it with a big stick and the entire insane process starts again.
Do you wonder that I’ll never understand this game?
Got it in one Way…haahaa! To me it is just men and women chasing a little white ball round a bloody big paddock. Yes I tried it a couple of times ….in social club outings. The best bits were when a tinny (can of ale) appeared miraculously from out the pocket on the golf bag. We only played 9 holes but by the time we got to the 5th we couldnt see the other 3 anyway. Must have been the fog!!!!
Hahahahaha, yes I tried it to, but was more interested in the scenery than where the little white ball had gone lol.
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hahhhahhaaaaaaaaaaaa,way..loved it…and faye,i think golf would be more fun played in a “fog”..lol
mmmmmm as I told my sister just spoils a good walk to me loved it Way thank you.
this is so correct way!!! loved it!! would rather watch the grass grow myself hahaha!!!! 😀 😀
As everyone knows I am married to a weekend golfer…..where does this guy play? there is no fox crap if you hit it in the fairway …..not the woods( hubbys words) lol….the courses here are very well maintained and taken care of….and i love it when he plays in tournaments and occasionally brings home one of those gift cards that i can help him spend…..and as long as i dont have to go along…. in the heat the bugs and the dirt ….I am very happy to have a golfer in the family
I never used to like golf. But if you can’t beat ’em, join ’em. I’d love to take up the game 🙂
It’s like life Way – you are always chasing a goal !!! xoxox
waylander golf is relaxing and time out from the wife!
That is a great Waylander! I started golfing so as not to be a Golf widow….took awhile but I am probably more into it than the others! Very addictive sport. I love that even if you have a poor hole ,you just go to the next tee and start all over again with a clean slate. I like to walk the course for 2 reasons, most courses are beautiful, if I had made a horrible shot ,it gave me time to calm down. It was surprising to me that some people have an entirely different personality on the course and not pleasant. I find it more fun to play with the ladies, tho it is competitive , it is not a source of anger or frustration. I love the sport!
Here in the States it is referred to GUYS ONLY LADIES FORBIDDEN.
Golf, the only game you pay to make yourself mad!!!