Funerals……..family and friends occasions….maybe not…..

I don’t want a funeral…….just cremation and ashes scattered by my family….lots of people tut tut this…why…doesn’t mean I am a non believer because this is what I want……..my Son and Daughter have no problem with this, and indeed my son wants the same……some say its selfish, and that a funeral gives people a chance to say goodbye and celebrate your life……..but many of these so called family and friends we don’t see when alive, so I find it all a bit farcical when I see people at a funeral who hadn’t seen the dearly departed one in years, leaving your body to science is not always an option…not as easy as you would think….lots of rigmarole, and lots get rejected…..what’s your views chatters

Recommend0 recommendationsPublished in Senior Chatters

Related Articles

Responses

  1. By the first view I would agree with you Star if I wouldn’t be a catholic. No I think a better option could be seen in a burial at sea. What do you think about that? Going on the last trip at sea.xxxM

  2. Hello Michael, well I don’t mind being on the cruise ship on the sea……lol…….but don’t like deep water so wont be going in there……..the countryside for me….xxx

    1. I have my funeral arrangements made after I moved back here to Maryland from California . Mu husband and I wanted to be cremated and so when he passed away he was cremated and I brought his ashes home to Greencastle, Pa. and he is buried with my Mother, Step Father and Grandparents . So that is where my ashes will be buried when I pass away and the funeral home here will mail my ashes to Greencastle to the funeral home up there that took care of my husband ashes. A lot of people are being cremated today but my husband and I decided sine we didn’t live in Greencastle where we both grew up and wanted to be buried when we died that we put that in our wills. My daughter and son both are fine with my wishes and if she wants to have a memorial service here in Maryland she can. I have no family left in Greencastle so it is only my daughter and son and 2 grandson’s and he lives in up in Massachusetts . So I hope my daughter and son have their funeral plans made as you should do that so you family doesn’t had too do that when you pass away.

  3. Hi annemarie……I did the same with my late hubbys ashes, had them transported to Germany from England where they were buried in his childhood village……some people leave the most extraordinary last wishes and requests they want carried our for their funeral, despite the trouble and the cost this can involve, and very often its left to the close family to cover these costs, I find this most unfair…….those who want the fanfare and things out of the ordinary should make sure there is money in place to carry out their wishes instead of leaving relatives feeling guilty if they cannot carry them out…….or broke if they do….

  4. Cremation and ashes scattered will be my way to go too, although being buried at sea has it’s attractions as all the gits that said they’d dance on my grave would drown.

  5. I want my ashes uncovered in a nudist colony so i can still get up peoples bums
    when im dead haha ! Also i agree many so called friends just turn up for a free nosh, maybe that sounds harsh but thats what i think. Why turn up to pay last respects when first were never given?

  6. I think that the funeral and/or gatherings are for the survivors. The departed’s problems are all over.
    It is somewhat comforting when someone else shares unknown personal events that happened. Sometimes you may have a different perspective of the person you love. I know that when anyone remembers any family member, I love to hear stories about them.

    1. Well yes David that can be comforting…….but it is the departed who makes the plans for their funerals, usually anyway, so abide by their wishes…….and all to often who attend haven’t been in touch for years…..but good if they have, and if it brings them comfort to share good memories can only be a bonus at such a sad time

      1. Some of the best made plans prepared by the departed are disregarded and they can’t do anything about it. You don’t always get what you want! Once you are gone you won’t be worrying about it anyway. Although, I do think there is a thing called Karma! So beware…….

        1. That is so true lo……..but I would feel incredibly guilty if I didn’t carry out some ones last wishes, and I think people who are planning their funerals should respect this and not request anything to outlandish…………Karma after death….ooooo Ghosties……lol…

  7. I couldn’t agree more with everything you said. My personal circumstances differ in that I will have no family to scatter my ashes,but my will makes arrangements for that. I have made preneed arrangements for everything. I was surprised at how many friends find that creepy lol, but I’ve been a planner all my life and this is no different.

    1. Do you know what jw, since I have spoke about my plans, I have been so surprised at the number of people who didn’t realise they have a choice not to have a service and a wake/gathering call it what you want……and are now saying that’s what they want for themselves…….people worry about the cost of funerals even when they are insured, and do not wish to leave their families with debt….

  8. I,m fed up with watching ads on telly that spruke taking out insurance for the “Funeral I want”………Read my lips..I will be dead! I wont bluddy well care !

  9. Haaaa well now capps…………do you realise that the cost of funerals go up yearly, do you have enough put by to give you the send off that you would like……no…….then act now……..for a limited period only we are able to offer you our special deal……if you can sign the enclosed form guaranteeing us that you will be alive for the next sixty years, we maybe able to offer you a special 10% discount….this offer is only open to people who will be 70 plus on their next birthday…..

    1. Yes Star..I have enough put by in a special account…The bank will pay it out on production of a death certificate and the funeral directors invoice…also its an interest bearing account so Its more or less keeping up with inflation.
      I have stated before..That I want my ashes mixed with some sand and cement and be made into a garden gnome,preferably with a big grin on its face and a finger extended upwards.
      Thankyou for your generous offer and discount Star,but No Thanks 🙂

  10. I agree Star, my husband and three of my kids know my wishes. Only people that will know I am dead are three of my kids my husband and my sister in law and brother in law. I don’t see anyone else now so why come to my funeral.

  11. I wish to donate what ever part can be used and then cremate the rest. As for my ashes, I want the kids to plant a tree in a nature area I love and put my ashes in the hole under the tree. I told them not to ask for permission because they won’t get it…lol. I will have a service before all that. A celebration of my life with lots of music.

    1. Hmmmmmm, I am very much alive and plan to stay that way a while yet. Don’t care what they do after I’m gone, whatever makes the family happy will be fine by me.

      1. Hi Judeee………..well that’s you done and dusted then, at least the family wont be trying to carry out some ludicrous last wishes, like being buried on a motorbike, or the coffin being tilted and facing North……odd but it happens……

  12. I am going to be cremated and put in my dogs’ grave in my backyard, and I have told my sons that if they do anything else I will come back and haunt them 🙂
    My house will be left to my 2 sons and if they sell it, and someone digs me and the dogs up, so be it – I will only be ashes anyway 🙂 and if the spirit lives, it will be long gone by then. My wishes are in my Will, and my sons have read it.

  13. foreveryoung, potash is good for most soils, so I reckon you will be putting some goodness back into the earth, not quite the same I know but hey ho……every little helps………cannot say fairer than that……..at least you have left written wishes for what you want done, makes it so much easier for the families to carry out….

  14. This is indeed very thought provoking, however the one thing forever sure in life is that we shall all die……..whether we want to think it or believe it!!
    We have no choice!
    Therein lies our dilemna.We are both of an age when this is more a reality than perhaps we wish to grasp,whilst we also have life threatening health issues.But we have a bigger problem really………………we have no family and there will be no one to truly carry out our wishes, even though they are written down in a will………it is nothing that keeps us awake or causes us untoward stress yet…. but it is a valid point,and as a person who does not like loose ends ……………I can see my rising up and having my say from wherever eventually I get deposited!
    Of your blog Starlette there comes one ray of hope………………….we both love the sea,we live in a peninsula so perhaps the best thing would be to be deposited at sea……………..and live eternally in the one place I truly love…………the ocean.

  15. Hi K.O.D……..well I would say that would be the way to go for you……..if you have a friendly local undertaker, he would I believe make sure your request was carried out one way or the other ……..or if you have a will the executor, but hopefully you will know someone trustworthy enough to carry your wishes out, not such a daunting task being as you live so close to the sea……

  16. I like the way you have kept this subject light Starlette because sometimes such a discussion often ends up in deep water!
    Talking of water, I think perhaps I should try and get my death bed placed on a cliff top……….. and simply roll over………………….job done…..one splash…… and no one having to labour over me……………..sounds hopeful.
    But on a more serious note……………it has set thought waves into motion…….

  17. Haaaaa……..think it would be easier to lob the ashes……..seriously though, we know we are all on the same path, by worrying and fretting isn’t going to make the final result go away………I just feel lots don’t even say what they want, leave it to their families to decide, which is ok for some, but me, I hate funerals, and even though I am insured i just want to make it as cheap and easy for my family as possible……and they are fine with that……….spend the money on the living……that’s what I say……