From ashes, Love Does Spring Eternal
I have blogged here to share my experience that may be of value to others. I am 73 years old and have been married three times. I was betrayed in all of them, but somehow I got enough faith in the possibility of friendship, that I began dating again and Lo and behold I have found a true love probably for the very first time.
The men that I chatted with on this site restored my faith in men again. I thank all the good men here for that. I also gained faith in women again from the many good women that I have known here. This site was here when my life was in ashes and now I may be better than I have ever been. My idealism has been restored. I think I have been restored.
I just want to say that life goes on and love is always possible and it is also always precious. True friendship is a treasure worth seeking, and romantic love is just as bright and shiny at an advanced age as it is at a young age. Somehow all the betrayals burnish my hope now. I may be wrong as I have been in the past, but right now I have faith and hope. I do not want to make the people who are alone sadder; I do want to give them hope in new possibilities of all kinds.
We may not have much time and I have to face that, but at this age, we all have to learn to live in the moment and to treasure them and I try very hard to do that, yet I don’t want you to think that misery has to last forever, and I do want to believe that love can last. Well, we all just have to live and hope for bad things to end and the good will last.
I hope I have restored some faith here in new visions and new possibilities at any age.
Recommend0 recommendationsPublished in Senior Chatters
Thank you for that Rose, what a positive picture you paint for us ” wrinklies ” lol………so pleased you have found someone special to share your life with, gives hope to all those who maybe looking, you had three bad experiences with your marriages, but by joining SC your faith was restored in people, especially men I would imagine, glad it didn’t put you off for life, there are plenty of kind compassionate men around looking for love and companionship……..hope they are as lucky as you in finding it…….
Starlette. I like that “us wrinklies”. I am glad for your comments and that you get it. Us wrinklies can feel brand new inside.
I understand that you cannot forgive. Some people have to realize that some wounds are too deep to just be relieved by a balm of forgiveness. I think it helps to realize that some people are very flawed creatures and we can feel very sorry for them and glad that you are a person who can love with loyalty and honesty.
In the final analysis, we have to live with ourselves and we have to love ourselves, and I guess that is why I handled my betrayals. I never betrayed myself.
My last ex-husband is almost a skeleton, he cannot tolerate food.
He is not trustworthy and cannot trust anyone. I can only feel sorry for him, but at first I was extremely angry. I do not know how people face themselves in the mirror when they know that they have no integrity. I can feel very sorry for them.
Starlette, I was blessed to have a father that was kind and supportive and I could never think there were no good men. I also could not accept a whole lot of wrongdoing. I probably accepted a lot too much.
Lovely blog roseinbloom. I have just turned 74 and only been betrayed once 🙂 after 38 years of marriage. The betrayal was devastating as I had no idea that my husband and sister had been having an affair for years. It must have been awful for you having been betrayed 3 times. I always thought I would be able to see it, but I had no idea. My sister was my so called “best friend” – I haven’t spoken to her for over 15 years and never will.
I am so happy to read that you have found love again at 73. I’m sure you have given hope to others. One never knows what is around the corner. You go girl, and I hope it is the best time of your life. Take care xoxo
Forever young, can’t even imagine that kind of betrayal.
God bless you and forgive them.
Thank you jw, but forgiving them – I can’t 🙁
Thank you, Forever. A sister betrayal is as bad or worse than a husband betrayal. I am sorry about your betrayals. I simplified the situation, They did cheat in more ways than one, but I knew their lack of character to not be totally shocked.
Has your sister asked for forgiveness?
No Rose and she never will. She doesn’t think she has done any wrong ????
And I am afraid I cannot forgive her or him.
Forever, if she doesn’t know she did anything wrong, your sister is a lost soul. She probably knows she was wrong but is not about to admit her wrong doing. What planet does your sister live on if she thinks that taking a sister’s husband is okay? I am sorry that you have lost a sister and a husband in one blow.
It must be horrible for you.
It is horrible still to this day Rose, and she is in denial.
Rose , I am happy you have found a wonderful man and never knew you had 3 husbands who betrayed you. I was married to my high school sweetheart for 33 years and he passed away in 93 . I have never dated anyone since losing Ed and don’t think that I ever will find another person that I would want to date. I am happy being single . I do have a few good male friend’s who I meet on S.C. and cherish their friendship. Rose you are a kind and sweet person and wish you all the best with you new man. Take care my friend. ♥
Marie, you were lucky the first time. Marie, I am a totally loyal person in all my relationships, and I just am horrified when others are not. I am getting more accustomed to betrayals of all kinds, but there are good and honest people also.
Roseinbloom, how wonderful for you, I am sure after 3 times bad luck you deserve some happy times, good luck for the future and may you have many happy years ahead of you xx
Thank you judee. Judee, fortunately, men were not my total life. I lived live fully with or without men. I had a career and became well traveled and very educated. Maybe, I was not subservient enough. To be able to trust and rely on anyone is a great feeling. I treasure all my friendships.
Have to say the very best of good luck and much happiness with your new partner.
The pleasure of holding hands and walking into the sea, or sunset with your new mate, I feel sure, will be priceless
Geeljay. your prose is poetry. I feel like the star of a Last Tango in Louisville episode.
I find it interesting that all the “betrayers” were men…… I have to wonder,how many men,like me,were betrayed by thier women.
Just a thought .
Hi Capp it is because we women are talking about our betrayals. My brother was betrayed by his wife because she couldn’t handle their 3 children. She left him to raise their 3 small children on his own, 2 boys and a girl, and never did anything for them until they became adults. Fortunately by that time they had formed their own opinion of her. My brother is a wonderful man and did a good job with his children.
geeljay, that is what it is like and it is priceless. Thank you for your comment geeljay.Thank you for your good wishes and best wishes to you.
cap, I am sorry if you were betrayed. Men also have a horrible time with that kind of thing also. Women can be very deceitful and malicious. In my case, I was neither, just gullible.
And me too Rose – didn’t see or suspect anything. It was a lesson to me on how deceitful and malicious people can be, even those close to you.
Hello Rose, nice blog of yours. There’s a saying in your language:
not to trust a person who says the right things, better to trust a person who does the right things. Michael
Michael, I think some women like me, collude in our betrayals. We manage to just believe that we see what we want to see,
Hi Rose,
as it says in my language; love makes one blind, a marriage opens the eyes.
That’s it what I was going to say. Michael
Michael, That saying should get more publications. Sometimes marriage opens the eyes to the depth of a person’s steadfastness and loyalty. I do believe that long marriages can have a deeper kind of love and I won’t ever have that. My older brother was faithful in his youth, and he was faithful in his old age because he just could not imagine what he would talk to another woman about. He and his wife totally integrated their large families and raised four children and partially raised most of their grandchildren. He also married the nicest woman alive. I wonder if men are loyal because the woman has no flaws.
A lovely, positive story, Rose and I wish you all the best in this new relationship.. None of us know ‘what is around the corner – good or bad’ and it is wonderful and reassuring to hear a story such as yours where you have remained positive and open to trying a new relationship despite problems you encountered earlier in life. The Golden Years can still offer great opportunities to build new relationships and friendships and we should try to remain open to these opportunities and embrace them when they occur.
Rose, apropos your remark
“We may not have much time and I have to face that, but at this age, we all have to learn to live in the moment and to treasure them and I try very hard to do that, yet I don’t want you to think that misery has to last forever.”
I am reminded of Zohra Sehgal a renowned Indian actress and dancer passed away on July 10, 2014 at the age of 102,
She once said, “I’ve lived to the fullest — I’ve squeezed the best out of life. A good husband, children, family and most importantly my work – I am close to 100 and even with such a shriveled up face and figure I can boast that I’ve still got work, fame and money! I’ve not gone into oblivion.”
Those interested may check the link given below.
http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/entertainment/hindi/bollywood/Zohra-Sehgal-10-interesting-quotes/Zohra-Sehgal-10-interesting-quotes/photostory/38197779.cms
How lovely to hear about new love, particularly at this later time of life, and especially that it feels as lovely as it does when young – very heartwarming and hopeful. Thank you for that!
Taking time to read the blogs and finding it both an education and heartbreak.
Your story Rose in Bloom certainly gives hope and I think in life whatever may befall you hope is always that need that keeps the spirit alive.
I have known betrayal twice and although the first did not include another person the hurt and devastation is very much the same……….the first was when very young and vulnerable but far easier to restart and rebuild a life……..which proved my own saving grace.
The second in mid years was completely devastating and although it was well working it through, it has left very marked areas of deep hurt that has never healed.
But life goes on and each one of us has to play with the cards given and if one can forgive and forget then they are truly reborn,free to start over………..others like Foreveryoung however unable to forgive………….understandably may I add………..well that leaves a deep scar that cannot heal.
There are so many ways of betrayals and many ways of dealing with recovery whilst your story certainly shows that hope springs eternal,one can love and live again,age is no barrier and I can only wish you every happiness and total loyalty in your new found love …………..may it truly enrich and blossom ………..making up for those lost miserable years……………let love itself triumph.