Frienships, When and How to End Them

Frienships, When and How to End Them

Friendship is most the most treasured part of our lives and may be the least understood, so I write this blog. Before I wrote, I googled and found the title in a Huffington post article and I also bring my own understanding. Friends enhance and make our lives richer and better, but they can be gold or fool's gold because real friendship has to have substance and TRUST which is the glue that holds the friendships together.

Most friendships end because a slow or shockingly sudden loss of trust. The person is just not who we thought he or she was? Some people may not realize that many friends are only "friends of convenience" which means the friendship is based on common situations and not common character and ends when the situation changes or a major character flaw is discovered. It is necessary to know the difference between a true friendship and a "friendship of convenience". True friendship based on common values of dependability and generosity will last, and those of convenience will end if the situation changes or we learn the shocking hard way that we have been betrayed

By this reasoning some spouses and loved companions are also true friends and others are just "friendships of convenience" and we assumed we had shared values and real character of dependability and generosity. In most cases we betrayed ourselves by assuming that the person was what he or she WAS NOT. The important thing in the middle of the horror of lost friendship is that we have to work on ourselves and not the other person. We must take another look at what the relationship is and what it still can be.

If we realize this sufficiently soon we can avoid fireworks and the floodgates of tears and rebuild what is left. We may expect relationships to be forever, but we must accept that most WILL end. The ones that last are those that are based on honesty and trust and shared values that are proved and real anot Just ASSUMED.

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Published in Senior Chatters

Comments

  1. lani36

    Very interesting blog Bloom , i had a friend i knew for many years, she was I thought ,a true and loyal friend, but as soon a she has a new man in her life , she forgets her old friends, she would sink anyone to meet someone she has her eye on , doesnt matter who she might hurt to do so, my other friends and I used to say , don,t give up your sisters, they will be there in the end , how many times we took her back into our circles over the years when the tears came , but she has never changed her ways she sunk another friend about 8months ago to get this man into her life , and that person used to assist her with everything for years , she has run out of friends now , shes lonely , this man let her go after a few weeks, now shes completely on her own and wonders why/ it,s a shame but we as a collection of friends from years ago have had enough of her behaviour…
    so she may have learned something this time ,I feel sorry for her but i will never trust her again , because if one continuosly betrays ones friends , especially with their menfok , then i,m afraid she is going to be a lonely old women .. we all hope she finds a future full of promise but we all despair of her … so ….fairweather friends are the real loosers in all of these situations ….

    1. roseinbloom Post author

      My friends could say the same about me because I have less time for them but my true friends know my heart and I keep them close and some I went 3000 miles away and I returned like I never left. I don’t know your friend and I never betrayed any friend but was distracted at times. Men can be very distracting for some. LOL

  2. starlette

    Save your pity Lani……she will just repeat her behaviour if she ever gets another chance to do so……….,she dosent understand the meaning of the word loyalty……looks like Kharma is finding its way again…..x

  3. starlette

    Good blog Rose, ending a relationship………my thoughts are it will end itself…….if it was shallow it will come to its natural conclusion, no bond will have been formed…….. a good one will stand the test of time, even when there maybe no regular contact, you just know they will be there if needed, and vice versa……..I have a good friend, my collaborator in crime I call her, if she asks me for advice and an opinion she knows it will be my honest thoughts, no b……t……..and I get the same from her……….met up last week, out for a meal, put the world to rights had a laugh…..was an ok few hours…x

    1. roseinbloom Post author

      Starlette, thanks for answering, and all got it right who answered, but will some learn from it??? Now that is the question. I learned more just by writing and getting my thoughts down.

  4. waylander

    I was told once that there are 4 kinds of friends:-
    The one you can trust with your life
    The one you can trust with your money
    The one you can trust with your woman/man
    Then there is that special person you can trust with all three.

    The fourth kind are rare. I’ve only come across 3 in my 62 years.

    1. lani36

      Way all so true, we mostly have two friends like that in life, i,m blessed to have two I would trust with all three and they ,me…..

  5. laurie

    I am reminded of a little song we learned as children in our Brownie troop: “Make new friends but keep the old, one is silver and the other is gold.” Unfortunately however it does not always work out that way in life.

  6. brummieliz

    Great blog, feel a need to write, 10 years ago I met this man, he lived in Liverpool. We courted online for about 6 months, and I thought I was the apple of his eye and vica versa. My love for him was so great that when he asked me to move in with him in liverpool I did. Even tearful phone calls from my family didnt deter me. I became very ill and was in and out of hospital and hks love for me started to slowly fade, he embarrassed me in company, k had to buy my own food etc. Last year he threw me out and I lived for a while in my car and friends sofas. My shame was so great I couldn’t even tell my family what was going on. In the end my daughter guessed and after 6 monyhs of fighting on my behalf she got me shelterd housing in the village where she lives in Hampshire. I learnt the hard way, dont forget your friends and family when you think you have met a true friend who you think you are going to live with till time ends. I lost so much of my grandchildren lives in the last 10 years, so remember always remember your true friends, dont forsake them , ever !!!!