Friendship Requests …What’s the Etiquette ?
Friendship requests ….what’s the etiquette ?
Sometimes I receive friendship requests …mostly from new members .
I know that new members are encouraged to start networking straight away to make the most of their free period on the site , I also know that we ,as seasoned long timers are expected to be welcoming and accepting of the newbies .
Which most of us are ,most of the time , I would think ! …there are times however ,when a new member’s profile doesn’t give us enough basic information to be able to have even the faintest idea of the character of our prospective friend or what his/ hers expectations of our friendship might be .
In cases like these , I usually refrain from accepting a request and wait for a while before making a decision .
A profile photo it’s a good start ( it’s always nice to see who I’m talking to ) but it’s not essential …A short descriptive profile it’s usually enough for me ..to help in my decision to accept or decline a request .
I always read a profile before accepting a friendship request …always ! If unsure
I simply delay my decision …
So how do you ( the reader ) handle your friendship requests ?
I agree with you Nmod, I always read profiles first and make a decision based on that info.
Great idea for a blog. Many people here have probably wondered about these issues.
Thank you Kay , what really brought this to my attention ,it’s the new competition to win a lifetime membership or small prize money .
A few days ago there was a tip from Rob stating that “engaging newbies ” would double the points !
Well ,I think we are starting to see the effects of our competitive side already! … People are contributing more …and the site has a bit more life ,and it’s only day 4 of the competition !
All seems to be going great ! But it’s important in my opinion to not lose focus and risk to have a bad experience for a few extra points .
You make some excellent points here.
A few days before Rob announced the competition, I had made the decision to be more active here during my last 3 months of paid membership, make the most of it! Then I’ll decide if I’ll renew in May. I don’t care about winning a free membership, although it would be nice.
Good luck to you Kay , I hope you do ! 🙂
I agree with you also. I like to see a photo, and not one when the person was 2 years old or some other weird or smart photo. Why do some people not like to show their face? That always casts doubt about them to me. It is always easier to talk to someone when you can see a picture of them and I am much more likely to accept a friendship request if the person shows a photo of themselves.
Thank you Frankie for your comments , I do like to see a photo as well ,but I do respect people’s need to keep their identity private .
Exactly the same as you nmod.
Being a past victim of internet abuse; keystroking; taking over my computer from a distance; threatening to the point I had to involve the police, I am extremely wary of who I let in.
When you accept a friendship at SC, this allows you to chat in a private box. This is where a hacker can keystroke you, and access most of your information, including your personal emails, and gain personal information you communicate with your family and friends.
My hacker managed to get names and addresses (home addresses) and actually sent devastating letters to them.
Internet and chat site are a wonderful way to learn and make friends. It can also be deadly.
Thanks nmod for bring your thoughts into a blog.
xxx
Frankie, please dont doubt me because I dont have a portrait pic. The above explains my reason.
Wow,…Polly I didn’t know that things could get that bad !
So important for us all to take notice ! Thank you for your contribution !
I don’t think we can ever be too careful when it comes to the Internet .
“When you accept a friendship at SC, this allows you to chat in a private box. This is where a hacker can keystroke you, and access most of your information, including your personal emails, and gain personal information you communicate with your family and friends.”
Not true. The only real way a hacker can keystroke you is if your computer has been compromised in the first place or you have given permission (duped) into allowing them access to your computer in the first place. It’s far more important to be wary about what your’re downloading and installing on your computer. For example, often times hackers bundle their code in with programs that you assume to be safe for downloading. Once you install and thereby give permission for this program to be on your computer you are essentially providing a way for the hacker to potentially access your machine.
SC is security checked daily and is safe to use. Just be mindful of what you install and from where and you’ll be fine.
If you’re at all worried about this. An excellent free resource that you can run is ‘SpyBot Search and Destroy’. It will scan you computer for any threat and attempt to remove anything dangerous.
Thank you Rob ,for the information and the steps we can take to keep our privacy as safe as possible .
Much appreciated !
Thank you Rob and I am reminded of some profile issues.
!. How much is verified?
2. I would like all to include the same basic profile info. I see some profiles missing marital status, some countries are missing, and I think some ages are missing.
3. this may not be a complete list.
Would you address these concerns?
Thank you for a good site.
Thanks Rob. This particular person was a ‘friend’ on line, so I thought !!! And how many people download things from ‘friends’? I don’t even open emails from anyone I don’t know; I don’t download any links sent by REAL friends in emails. I have spybot; cleaner; malwarebytes; lavasoft. And bluetac over my cam lens. 😉
Its our on line ‘friends’ we have to be careful of. If I ever get the sniff of a red flag, they are OUT.
Often I see a newbie who sends out twenty or more friendship requests in the first hour of being here = HUGE red flag!!
Just the way I do things to try and stay safe. 🙂
PollyPie, I am glad you are still here and I will stop downloading any web sites from now on.
Rob I have been looking for a secure, free download since my free Norton Anti-Virus trial is about to expire, so I was excited to see your recommendation. But, when attempting to download SpyBot, a message box from Norton popped up (1 day left on my free trial) saying that SpyBot had been removed due to it not being a secure site. Just wanted to pass that information on.
Rob, additional information on my above post. The threat name on SpyBot is (Suspicious.Cloud9).
Polly you hit it exactly. I also agree with Norma. I am hesitant to friend someone who had no prior communication to the request. I will usually send a kind note to a request briefly explaining why I decline friendship. It’s just my way. Frankie, I see your point regarding the pic thing. However referring to Polly’s reply is why I don’t post personal items on here or anywhere on the internet for that matter. I’m not a computer wiz but can say if most knew how exposed their information is they would rethink what they post. For example, I did an experiment with one of my children’s photos from FB. I pasted/uploaded it to Google Images/Earth. A simple photo with nothing else revealed not only her personal info but tracked/linked back to our first address of 22 years ago. Yes I am very careful. Call me paranoid but it’s just crazy how the smallest piece of info shared can be tracked. You can Google search even a phrase or blog on here and be amazed at what and who it will link to. Just my 2cents. I know I drifted off the subject but wanted to share. Great blog Norma 🙂
Thank you Jsmile …
Very interesting contribution yours also ! So important to be reminded that bad things can and do happen ,that we have to be careful not to fall into the trap of giving too much information about our private lives .
Wow…I’m so glad I wrote this blog ….I have learnt a lot already !
nmod,thank you for blogging on this subject and you did a great job.I am glad to be warned about private chatting. .I do little to no private chatting. Just like in real life,I am judicious in accepting friends. If they want to do private chatting right away, that feels like a pounce to me.
Thank you Rose , it turned out to be a good subject to discuss …all contributions are very much appreciated , we are learning from each other !
Well me I acquire my friends through the chat room.i like to get to know them first before being friends.Though I have one thing to add to this friends things,why do we do it half or more we never talk to anyway.
Good point Kathy …. Why do we do it ? Lol
Macathy, I have wondered the same thing, but being friends is only the first step. I guess it is like real life. We meet many and some become real friends.
IVe got a strange message few days ago for an intresting proposing i d ont know this person and i am not the kind for that the World is full of surprises and the word carefull stays On the first place in My context
You are right Bouvierlover the world Is full of surprises ! Thanks for your comments !
Good blog NMOD, I look first at profiles, and always accept on public message if I acept at all, and make it clear that it,s nice tobe one,s chatter friend.. and invite them in to talk with the other Chatters in Lobby or introduce themselves to the other members in Shout etc; , I hope this gives our Newbies that ask for friendship the feeling that there welcome , with the open invitation to meet others and enjoy the site. I have never been asked to private chat with any Newbie so far … and I feel it,s becasue I make that statement that i and many others are available to talk in the lobby , groups or Shout….I feel one takes a risk just by being on a chat site, facebook or twitter, if they are…. and I normally change my password as oftena s possible which is the best safeguard , so I have been told ….. I never accept, always decline strangers that ask for friendship on skype ,even the ladies if I do not know them , because anyone’s can use any picture on skype or elsewhere , just to be careful…. so far so good ….
Good idea Lani , it’s interesting to learn from others and how they deal with the friendship requests . Thank you very much for your comments !
Hello Norma good questions you ask! I don’t like to see me out of a corner watching me typing my writings. No for me nothing depends on a picture of a person, only the writing that’s counts. Thoughts, the style of writing and of expression of themself makes sense.
We should share a bit of the same kind of humor, these and that same likes compared with good education that’s all for me for a frienship request.
Good manner costs nothing and the meaning of this sentence should be used on here first. xxxM
You are right Michael , you can tell a lot about a person by those attributes you point out !
Thank you for you comments .
Hi nmod, I always check profiles now after mistaking a man for a women, was the name, why I automatically assumed it was a women I do not know, got talking in private and I was chatting as I would with a women, more personal than a man lets say, was I blushing when I realised my mistake, oh well lesson learned, as regards Skype, I accepted friendship from someone I didn’t know, she came on the other day asking if I cammed…. I don’t….. she said it can be fun, said she would put her basque and thong on…….what !!…….now I am rubbish at techy stuff and always keep tape over the lens on the computer, yes I know people say you have to switch the cam on first before anyone can be seen, but half the time I don’t know what switches what on……..the women could well have been a man, who knows, not that I want to see a women prancing around either……..so the tape stays firmly in place, must admit I am a lot more diligent and wary than I was in the early days……even more so now after reading the above comments………blimey……
Hahaha Star ! You are one of a kind ! I haven’t laughed this much in a long time ! I can imagine that woman prancing in front of the computer ! Lol
I can also imagine the tape covering the lens of your computer ,just in case of course !
Thank you for your comments ! They are valid ,informative and funny at the same time !
LOL….. I have blue tac covering my lens Hahaha. Great minds, star 😀
I have a label from bananas over mine. You never know……
Yep……..stops you seeing the bananas you don’t want to see……only Fyfees for me………
Sorry I forgot this to mention; if one looks at the picture of anknown dentist one will find him smiling. But his smile does mean that he won’t hurt you does it??
No,it doesn’t Michael ,you are right !
When a crocodile shows you his teeth, you don’t know whether he is smiling at you or about to eat you!
Hey Norma, Great Blog! I agree with all the above postings. But I’d like to add my wariness. I like to check where they are from. I am leary of new members from countries I am not fond of. Also, when you do decide to friend them and then they ask for your e-mail address. A big red flag for me. I like to wait to see if they become a member, and to see who has become their friend. I also check with others to see if they are a good one. It’s hard at times to pick through the good and the bad…….. I study you for a long time….. hahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!! Hugs my friend!!!!! xx
Oh ,I’m so glad I passed the test ! Because you are the best friend anybody could ever have ! And that’s the truth ! xxx
Star thats a good idea with the tape over the cam. I’m a firm believer information is empowerment. As I stated earlier, people may think I’m paranoid but we live in a completely different world in just 20 or so years. Technology allows us to instantly make friends from around the globe at the click of the mouse. I’m not laughing at you Star but I did laugh at the woman/man thing LOL. I would have loved to seen your face! I’m not sure if it’s as much Etiquette as it is the motive. While I’m not apposed to the female body at all, there’s chat Etiquette LOL. Seriously, Be it etiquette or motive, be careful online with not only other people but how and what you expose to the world. It cannot be retracted. I may blog sometime on internet safety, who’s watching us and how.
, Too many around who would love to expose themselves to the world, or any other unsuspecting person for that matter……….get the gaffer tape on…….that’s what I say……hehe……xx.
Or blue tac 😀
gaffer tape now is it lol lol xxx
Where the heck is the camera lens on my computer?…I cant see one !…there must be one,coz if I click on “Photobooth”…there I am !
Help ,somebody !
I got some choon gum I can stick over it.
Haha Cappie , are you sure you don’t want to prance in front of the camera for the world to see ? Lol
Im covering my eyes………. Honest !!! 😀 😀 😀 😉
You,d need to Pollie…I,m an ugly bugga 🙂
“choon gum” now that is a way to recycle that is worth knowing. cappy, I just love that word “choon”.