EUTHENASIA
I am not sure if I should write this, but I would be interested in comments on this subject.
Having reached the age of 70 I am thinking of making a “living will”. I have seen quite a few of my family and friends leave this earth in unpleasant ways.
I don’t want to be kept on a ventilator; I don’t want to spend the remaining years of my life in a vegetative state (should this happen), and I don’t want to live the remaining years of my life in excruciating pain. I also do not want to be put in a Nursing Home and be at the mercy of others. If I unfortunately develop Alzheimer’s I would not want to live with that. I know this all sounds very selfish on my part, but I want to die with dignity. I don’t want my family to see me suffer and feel guilty about it.
Unfortunately, because of a dysfunctional family, my mother was given a public guardian, and at the end of her life she was in excruciating pain and crying out for help. Despite constant attempts by those family members who were with her at the time to get her pain relief, this was not allowed until the guardian gave permission. She never got that permission and therefore did not get the pain relief and could not take the pain any more and died. Her right to die peacefully and with dignity was taken away from her by others who simply appointed the guardian who only saw my mother once at my request, because I said to her “how can you make decisions about someone’s life if you haven’t even met that person and instructions are done by phone”. The guardian therefore never saw my mother’s suffering.
I want the right to die the way I want to. I think it is so unfair that someone else takes this decision away from you.
I know that there are possibilities of family members or others taking this into their hands for their own agendas, but if a person is of sound mind regardless of their suffering, and at the end of their life, why can’t that person be given a medication to take themselves to put them out of their misery. This way there is no blame on outside intervention in the death. The only contribution would be to give the medication at the request of the dying person. I watched a movie to this effect and the person died peacefully and with dignity, but she had to go to Switzerland to do this.
I would appreciate your thoughts and opinions on this subject.
I hope I haven’t offended anyone.
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Hi FY, I couldn’t agree with you more. For a long time now, I have been in favour of Euthenasia. Not least because my mum knew when she was in hospital, that she was never coming home, and tried to ORDER me to switch the equipment off. I would have been happy to oblige if I could. I loved her 100 times more than I ever have my dad, and it hurt like hell to see her like that. And, like you, if I was ever in that situation, I would want to die with dignity, too. Thanks for writing this blog. Steve x
Thank you so much Steve for your input – it is greatly appreciated. It is a subject that not many want to talk about and I think it should be discussed fully. Recently our parliament voted against it, but it will continue to be resurrected as we need to be heard and respected. I can empathize with you watching your mother suffer and it is a terrible thing for family to have to watch, and such an ordeal for the dying to want to die and not be allowed to. You would have been charged if you had switched off the equipment, whereas it would have been more humane to give your mother a medication that would have let her die with dignity. This makes me so angry. Once again, thank you for your input xo
You said it all forever, I couldn’t agree more xxx
Thank you skip xox
I agree too xx
I agree with you Forever – my Mother died with quiet dignity and I’d really like to be able to do the same… I know some will not agree, and that is their right….. let’s hope we have plenty of time left for a laugh or two…. ((((((hugs)))))))))) xx
Or three or four – thank you (((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))) xox
I come from a different part of the world and my view is of a different opnion.Foreveryoung , you rightly put it that ” I know this all sounds very selfish on my part”,and would like you to recognize that it is not only you at stake when you life is threatened by death, there are significant others,such as family members, loved ones as well friends like ourselves who would wish to see everything possible being done to save your life, because none of us is the author of life.We have seen people in a vegetative state come back to life through medical interventions, and others have died in dignity through the right interventions such as hospices that are all over the place.I would rather ,if I was the one, give people a chance to do what they can to save my life, so that in the unfortunate event that I die, this will help them to pass through the grieving process as they would be knowing that they did all they could but they had no control over the death factor.Thank you for sharing this mind stimulating blog,xxx
Thank you for your response beatrice it is appreciated and we are all entitled to our opinions, but we should also be entitled to our choices. You mentioned the part where I say “I know this sounds selfish……” but it is also selfish on the part of family members who want to keep their loved one alive despite the agony they are going through and their wish to die, simply because the family members can’t deal with it. My mother died in agony and I would have much preferred for her to be given something to end her suffering – this memory will stay in my mind forever knowing that she could have been spared her extreme suffering and allowed to go in peace and with dignity. She was 84 xo
This day and age, I think it essential to make a Living Will. I made mine some time ago.
I totally agree with you, Forever.
Having watched my mother in law slowly losing her personality and ability to control her body over a period of about 3 years I can say without any doubt that I do not want to go out like that.
That people have to leave the UK and travel to Switzerland to achieve a dignified death, often leaving any who assist them in getting there open to prosecution, is a complete travesty and an unwarranted invasion by government of simple rights.
The law in UK is, as it often is, an ass in these cases.
I absolutely agree Forever, I have thought about this but your blog has reiterated my feelings. There are many wonderful hospices and helpful agencies but I would never wish to get to the point of life being meaningless to me. I do agree way the UK has many laws that make an ass out of reality! Thank you for posting this blog Forever xxx
With you all the way on this one Forever……..not everyone has the funds to to opt for the private clinic in Switzerland……..seems that the horrendous Liverpool Care Path is our substitute.
We both have living wills, neither of us are to be put on ‘Life Support’ and no resuscitation . No medical intervention at all except pain relief. This has been discussed openly with our children and we have their unconditional support.
They are also aware that we both have the ‘medical means’ to end our lives when we choose to.
I have watched the families of the terminally ill who finally die under extreme duress, pain and loss of dignity. That becomes the memory for the family left behind. I will not leave that memory to my children or my husband.
My thoughts exactly catraoine and I would like to have the medical means to end my life when I choose to.
Thank you all for your responses. I am grateful for your comments. I will definitely be making my “living will” along these lines. Take care everyone xox
FY I read your blog and from the percentage of in favor my opinion will not be popular. I totally understand your wish. I respectfully disagree and here’s why; First, Life is not in our hands, that’s Gods decision when we go. I too have discussed this with my children and they agree we should do what we can within reason to live. I live close to a children’s hospital. I visit and have friends who volunteer at this hospital. At any given day there are eight to twelve children with with terminal illnesses. Not one parent has opted to sign a DNR or simply stop treatment on these children. You want to see a will to live just look into these dying children’s eyes. I personally would not leave a family member to make that gruesome last decision even though it’s the wish. You mentioned that “it may sound selfish”. This is a form of legal suicide.
I just believe from a christian perspective that, we have no more right or control over death than we did birth. I do appreciate your sharing your decision with us here. This is not meant personally. Just my opinion on life to the end. Again, thank you for sharing. “J”
J, that was well said as was Beatrice’s reply. Not that the others weren’t, just that it’s difficult to go against popular opinion which you both have done. I agree with you from a christian perspective, that life is in God’s hands. But, I also will say that I have not yet had to watch a loved one suffer for any length of time w/ a debilitating and painful illness, so I understand that colors perspective, and I pray that I don’t have to ever be the one to make such a decision for a loved one. Having said all that, Forever, I appreciate this blog and the open discussion. It was handled well, assenting and dissenting opinions alike. Thanks you 🙂
Thank you millie. I too hope I never cross the path so many seem to.
The idea of a ‘Living Will’ is that we have these so that our loved ones do not have to make that decision for us.
I also know that when it comes to ‘pain relief’ the Medical Fraternity are willing to give enough assistance to relieve the pain knowing that the amount needed to actually relief the pain will actually bring death to the patient.
When it comes to children however that is a whole different discussion. X
Thank you so much jsmile for your comments – all comments are greatly appreciated. With regards children that is different – every effort should be made for them to stay alive. Also all younger people should be given the best of treatment to keep them alive. I am talking about the end of our lives. Until you really see the suffering of someone you love at the end of their life, it is very difficult to understand that they want to die peacefully without pain, and with their dignity intact. I consider myself a Christian and I have also volunteered as a Palliative Care Volunteer working with the dying.
I am appreciating the comments this blog has generated xo
i agree foreveryoung in what you have said and the comments after.
I think when you’re older and suffering it is a lot different then young and suffering. So if your of an advanced age and you want to go, it should be your choice and only yours, no one knows what you are going thru.
I lost my 87yr old mother one year ago.she had had a couple of heart attacks and her heart was described as a floppy heart because it was just that .at each of her visits to the doctors they were amazed she was still alive and said she was amazing.My mum was a very strong christian women who spent hours praying for those in need and helping where she could,so whren she caught a flue and was given drugs etc something terrible happened to her and she was omitted to the hospital,they gave her drugs to counteract the affects of the first ones and on it went.my mum ws no longer MUM,she was like a mental case and in the morning when we visited she couldnt comunicate although she tried.We interviened and got it sorted but it took time and mum was in such a state she had another heart atack’We were in shock and disbelief that someone could go from intelegant dear mum to a mental patient in a few days and remaind like this until we pushed for them to take her off all the medication they were giving her.she came right but was a mere shadow of the mother we knew and loved.She couldnt go back home and so we found her a home with great care facility but she didnt want to be there.she was in pain ,had trouble breathing and got cramps and a host of othr things.We couldnt do anything for her except love her and we had to watch her slowly die.although my family are all chritian if we could have helped her on her way we would have and mum would have said yes because she was fisically and mentally tired she had had enough.she said so.Please dont let me suffer like my mum did,
First, I want to extend my heartfelt condolences to all who shared their painful stories of loss here. I would say to you, Foreveryoung, please DO make your end of life wishes known, verbally…and legally, to all concerned. You already know from personal experience with your family members how important it is. My Mom died 15 years ago at the age of 58, complications of heart failure. She was put on a ventilator, we were told she was brain dead. This went on for 3 days and on day 4, she was able to breath on her own. Life support was then removed and she died peacefully about 24 hours later. In those 3 days when she was on ventilator, the doctors were telling my siblings and I that we would soon have to make the decision whether to pull life support. I look back on all that, it is still like watching us a movie. She was so young, and we were so young and totally unprepared. I am SO GRATEFUL that God made that decision, so we didn’t have to.
I can understand your reasons about making Euthanasia legal. I cannot say that I fully agree, I think it is getting into very complicated territory for me…I see pros and cons.
“watching us in a movie”. ** I tried to edit my response, can’t find a way to do it. Tried to delete it and try again too. Is it only blogs that can be edited, and not blog comments?
Thank you kaybee for your comments. I am so sorry you lost your mom at such a young age, and I am so glad you were spared the task of having to make the decision to pull life support at your young ages. That is one of the hardest decisions family members have to make. A dear friend of mine had to make that choice with her 18 month old son and she has never gotten over it, and I don’t think anyone ever gets over the loss of a child xo