Estranged in the middle of a forest!

I live in the middle of a forest in  cyclone proof house and for a while live alone whilst my estranged relationship whirls about and I await the next relatives who may cheer me! don’t get me wrong i do enjoy solitude at times and apart from housework which I hate, can find plenty to do – surrounded by tv’s pc’s dvd’s and aircons!

but sometimes the silence can be oppressive as the dogs and cat don’t say much and I am devoid of transport facilities in and out! But being a wild capricornian goat I can survive most of it ; after all the fridge and freezer are always half full and the home made beer flows cheap and readily. People do come and go don’t get me wrong but usually don’t stay long enough for a good yarn!

TBC:

It’s now a time in life for reflections ; is the glass half empty or half full. Waking each day seems to get harder;  a struggle – I wanna stay in the dream – it’s more fun and comforting! I can recall all I’ve done and say OK well done you had a ball but now I sit in an empty ballroom! I can feel life beginning to just roll over – nature speaks aloud – I grow – I feed – grow some more then die! Just watched “the wild life [jungle] of Singapore”. Magic – a land of concrete surrounded by tropical forests. I once lived in Hong Kong – visited Singapore and Malaysia – when you hear the phrase ” as the sun rises and the day slowly gets warmer” narrated by Attenborough – you can feel the meaning [I once felt it everyday]. there is still more to see but I must rob a bank!!

Have been waiting for the precious rain all day with sunlight bursting through to spoil the event and then it came at tea time! – monsoonal downpours which short the TV aerials as they gather dust in the dry – we are also promised a northerly cyclone – how wonderful. Sometimes it all entices me out onto the porch with my pipe and mozzie coil! and if I remember dvd player and some favorite tunes but they are getting old and bitter sweet these days!

My son who is 200 kms away advises we had 44mm of rain whilst he only got 8mm ! Some say I should move in and live with him – fraught with dangers that one – I would be in the middle of family squabbles being asked to take sides and being tempted to advise on child rearing practices – that form of estrangement probably well advised! Today I excited the dogs and walked around one third of the block – they can do it anytime themselves but won’t – they love doing it with a human friend! found a few puddles but easily negotiable – 6am and dozens of flies – the curse of the forest in OZ!

toast with marg and vegamite {it is God in OZ [I did once use marmite but that was many moons ago and now takes a poor second or third position] and topped with slices of turkey.

Today I broke through the mist of estrangement! – out on the damp patio with pipe at the ready – cup of coffee and a bucvh of cd’s – went for the jugular as they say and eased on Eve Cassiday – what a singer – a sad loss to us all but sent as an angel and taken as one too. 

Say Goodbye

It’s funny how the distance can make you feel close

And the things you lost are the things you want most

The weather’s fine here ‘ perfect shade of blue

I guess that’s why I’ve been thinking of you

[Chorus]

So I call you up just to tell you why

Why I left you and say goodbye

Ooh must be the mood I’m in

I’m thinking of you again

I call you up just to tell you why

Why I left you and say goodbye

I know you’re different now and I guess I changed too

And I thought what was once so right was so wrong for you

Yesterday I was talking and I heard your name

The weather’s fine here with a slight chance of rain

[Chorus]

Time makes you sorry for the things that you’ve done

Sometimes you walk away and sometimes you run

And the weather’s fine here; I can feel a slight chill

Somethings change babe and some never will

[Chorus]

I call you up just to tell you why

To say I love you and to say goodbye

The forest has changed from a dark brown dry leaf and wood covering to a green carpet – we are of course now in our ‘wet’ season – one of two – the rest of OZ is also awash and attempting to recover from the harsh fires – many cattle and sheep have been lost and businesses brought to their knees but the bush people are tough and will recover – they don’t give up easily.

my solace is imminently drawing to a close – as family return from differing directions. Some who may just take a glance and leave dissatisfied, others to hover around longer and fuss too much. Learn to live like the forest and don’t fuss! I have a gift coming 200kms today from my son – wine/bourbon/ cigars/ beer malt and other surprises – that will sparkle me a while!

the buddhists always have it right – live each day to the full – doing kind deeds – maintaining your good health and nurturing and building your soul ready for nirvana!

Recommend0 recommendations
Published in Senior Chatters

Comments

  1. Scorpio

    I couldn’t discover if you were a new member of our happy little community but nevertheless , WELCOME 😊 to Senior Chatters and I really hope you enjoy your time with us. We’re a friendly bunch.

  2. 1099

    I loved it! The raw honesty of living alone is felt with the all small letters to establish how insignificant we fell in the vastness of a lonely night. I hope you write so much more because I love reading as I gain knowledge from other styles of writing.

  3. starlette

    Hello there Ralph, loved reading your real life situation as it is at the moment……on off relationship…..well at least you have your own roof to escape to so that’s a bonus……too much company can be a pain, and too little can result in loneliness if quite isolated as you seem to be in your surroundings……..sooooo in the meantime you have to make do with this motley bunch……lol….welcome…….

  4. ralph Post author

    .this must be one of the hardest if not hardest sites for retirees to negotiate and I have visited many and they want you to pay and pay and pay – goodbye