Envy

When I first arrived here I was envious. Saw you as people who had it all together. A bunch of happy cheerful people. Hugs and kisses galore, love and tolerance abounding. God, I wanted all that.

Now that I’ve been here a while I’m beginning to see the reality. Some of you are hiding behind personas, masking your pain and sorrow. Some of you use jokes to cover your sadness and despair. Many of the hugs and kisses are attempts to cling to someone, anyone, to chase away your loneliness. In other words, the reality of this site is my own reality.

After writing blogs that have been dark, and soul-baring I’ve learned that others shared my thoughts. My attempts at humor and satire brought smiles. Even some of my comments caused reactions. What does all this mean? Could it be I have finally found somewhere I fit in? A home? A family? Regardless of my faults, warts and all?

Friendships were given freely. Some may turn out to be deep relationships, while others may be mere acquaintances. Either way, our words touch one another and become part of our shared reality.

I, hereby promise this: my door is open to anyone who comes to call. Whatever you need, if it is mine to give, it is yours. Be it support, understanding, a new viewpoint, or just a “hi, bow are you doing?”

No more thank yous. That is a response to an unexpected word or thought. And I have learned to expect the unexpected from you.

Love, Jackie xxxx

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Responses

  1. jackie, you fit right in, love your blogs, we make mistakes, learn our lessons, we say we are great when dealing with stuff, some don’t want to bring others down, we get sad, angry at injustice, love to laugh, give a hug when someone is hurting. I don’t think anyone has it all together all the time however, we are a family here and hopefully mainly accepting of each other warts and all. As you said many personalities make up this family and all have a place, all i can say is i love senior chatters and the members who make it a great site. Good blog again jackie, keep them coming xxx
    PS the kisses don’t mean i want to cling to someone, i am not lonely lol It means i appreciate the person you are ((((((hugs)))))) lol xxxx

  2. Me, too, Jackie. Just looking for a warm, welcoming place where I can feel free to be me. Lovely write. Thanks for sharing it. By the way, “Hi! How’re you doing?” (smiling) Bright Blessings! Faerie

  3. You have said it all so eloquently jackie and I agree with all that skip has said. I too use kisses and hugs (xoxox) and that is to show my appreciation and love. This site has made an enormous difference in my life and I have made the most wonderful friends, and it still amazes me that we can be friends without meeting each other personally, and I treasure every one of them. I love your blogs – keep them coming. Take care xoxox