Don’t try this at home.

(…….or A Stitch in time saves getting close to having several in the head!)
(…….or Smoking can indeed, kill!)
Last Friday, I found, to my horror and irritation that I’d left my baccy and filters at home. But I was already at work by then, (truck driver – nights) so I decided to stop off at the first services and just get a pack of cigarettes. In my rush, when I stopped the truck, I pulled the key with one hand and the door handle with the other, and because I was holding the keys, I only grabbed the side bar with 2 fingers,, missed the other bar altogether, and shot out of the cab backwards with enough force to completely miss the steps, ending on my backside on the hard ground. Needless to say, I was a bit shaken up, and wasn’t sure I’d be able to get up again. I did though, and despite the pain in my derriere, I got my cig’s and carried on driving the remaining 2 1/4 hours to my destination. The last half hour was particularly uncomfortable, and all I wanted to do was get off my butt, which I did as soon as I got parked. Did my usual ritual of un-clipping the trailer curtains, and telling the yard marshal I was there, as we always do with the first load. Went and got my coffee, and balanced it on some railings while I lit a cigarette. Suddenly, I didn’t want the cigarette, wasn’t too bothered about he coffee either, ‘cos I felt sick, hot, sweaty and faint. Another driver said something to me, and I still don’t know what it was, ‘cos the lights swayed to one side and then went out altogether. My lights did, anyway. I apparently collapsed like a sack of spuds, and head-butted the concrete with some force.
I’ve now got 3 cuts on my head, two visible, and one under my hair. People were there immediately, and a part time fireman stayed right by me until the ambulance came. By which time his chili and chips were cold, but I said I’d replace them. The first ambulance got re-directed to another call, and the first ‘assistance’ to arrive was an assessor. I was told last night, that they are sent to cases like these to see if they’re serious enough to warrant an ambulance, but this guy seemed to be determined to make sure it was. He inadvertently kicked me twice, and three times, when he wanted to stand upright, he leaned on me, not the ground! He also pulled my legs round into a position reminiscent of an athlete leaping over a hurdle. A position which I very soon changed! He said I needed to have my legs like that, but I assured him I most certainly did NOT, and he would receive a swift kick where he’d notice it if he tried that crack again!
Anyway, the ambulance crew took me away, and I spent the next four hours in Accident and Emergency, at Leicester Royal Infirmary, where they had more than enough to see to, but they were brilliant. Basically, it was a case of just waiting. But after various tests and questions, the doctor was satisfied that it was a case of delayed shock. All the time I was busy doing something, I was fine, but as soon as I was able to relax, the shock set in.
When I called my boss, she said that someone would be up to collect me good and early, but I know what they’re like, so I took a taxi back to the freight hub, where the truck had, by then, been unloaded and reloaded, got the keys from security, and slept in the cab until 9 a.m. This was after I’d been discharged at 2.30 a.m! My ‘rescuers’ turned up at 10.15, and the one who’d been assigned to drive the truck back, boasted that they’d got there in 2 hours! That meant they didn’t leave ’til 8.30!! How is that ‘good and early’?? By the time we got back to the M25 it was living up to it’s nickname of the UK’s biggest car park, so in all it took 4 hours to do a journey that I can do in a fully loaded 44 tonner, in 2 hours, 50 mins.
I would bet a month’s pay, that if it had been any day but Saturday, they would’ve been there by the time I got discharged, ‘cos the precious freight would have had to be delivered same day, but because it was Saturday, nothing mattered an awful lot. Least of all the driver!! but when my boss called me in the evening, whilst her first question was how did I feel and was I okay, it was very quickly followed by: “D’you think you’ll be okay for work on Monday night?”
And I said “Yes”. What a wally! 🙂