DIFFERENT WAYS OF LOOKING AT THINGS!

Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage, and Family values.

Bill said,’ I didn’t sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?’

Larry replied,’ I’m not sure, what was her maiden name?’

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A little boy went up to his father and asked, ‘Dad, where did my intelligence come from?’

The father replied, ‘ Well son, you must have got it from your mother, cause I still have mine.’

—–

Mr. Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully,’ The divorce Court judge said,’ And I have decided to give your wife $775 a week.

‘That’s very fair, your honor,’ the husband said,’ And every now and then I’ll try o send her a few bucks myself.’

—–

A Doctor, examining a woman who had been rushed to the Emergency Room, took the husband aside and said ,’ I don’t like the look of your wife at all.’

‘Me neither Doc,’ said the husband.’ But she’s a great cook and really good with kids.’

——

An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last forty years. The Wizard says,’ maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you.’

The old man says without hesitation, ‘ I now pronounce you man and wife.’

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Two reasons why it is hard to solve a Redneck Murder;

1. The DNA all matches.

2. There are no dental records.

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A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks,’ Can you tell me how long it’ll take to fly from San Francisco to new York City?’

The agent replies, ‘Just a minute.’

‘Thank you,’ says the blonde and hangs up.

——

Two Mexican Detectives were investigating the murder of Juan Gonzalez.

‘How was he killed?’ asked one detective.

‘With a golf gun,’ the other detective replied.

‘A golf gun! What is a golf gun?’

‘I don’t know. But it sure made a hole in Juan.’

——

Moe: ‘My wife got me to believe in religion.’

Joe: ‘ Really?’

Moe: ‘ Yeah. Until I married her I didn’t believe in Hell.’