depressed or depressing

Can be feeling OK one minute and in no time at all total depression why? I have no answer and its been going on so long.
Think the worst of it is the feeling I only depress others the way I feel avoided so often its a cold place feeling alone.
well this is just a sad one thinking aloud only six months of membership then for sure will never pay again such a mistake. U have to be a certain type to fit and be accepted here.
No Cures for people like me and seems little consideration either,
Yes I am a sad B******

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depressed or depressing was last modified: June 8th, 2015 by woodsie
Published in Senior Chatters

22 thoughts on “depressed or depressing

  1. passaggio

    Woodsie….It is sad to hear how you have been struggling. You are aware you are suffering from depression, which is a good first step. The question is, have you seen a doctor to help you?
    There are so many people that struggle with depression. Although you don’t want to take medications for it, it can really help you. It is very difficult to feel like you fit in , when you are depressed. I hope you will seek medical help and advice. It may make your world a bit brighter.
    Wishing you the best . x

    1. woodsie Post author

      Thank U Passaggio,
      I have been on medication for a long time it worked well at times but my situation gives me no future to look to so I think it over powers the good of the medication .

  2. jenna

    Woodsie, As Passaggio said, if you haven’t sought medical advice, please do. It will make a world of difference and you won’t feel so alone as you battle on with depression.
    You say there is no cure, but reaching out to a Professional is the first step in helping you deal with your condition and making life a lot brighter and not so lonely for you.
    I hope our advice is of help to you. Chatters in here really do care.

    1. woodsie Post author

      thanks Jenna.
      most of the post above answers U as well,
      Well I do not know about what U say about chatters most not all times I come here I leave colder than I came I do fail in small talk so chat is hard.

  3. Linda

    So sorry to hear how you are feeling. I suffer from depression and understand it is an everyday struggle. Please think twice about leaving SC. Cutting yourself off from people and friends will make things worse. I agree with what has been said. There are things you can do. Ask your doctor if there is anything you can take to aid you. I take Celexa and it helps me keep level without having ups and downs. Then I figured out what makes me happy. It is different for each person. What is your hobbies, what do you have a passion for? Do you do something with friends outside on being on line? I would have to know more about you to suggest other things. Talking is one of the best things. I admire you for writing this. Many are in the same boat as you and I. I am my own cheerleader, I know I have a choice of what I think about. So I read positive things to give me faith in better days.
    Where you live can be a factor. If you live in the cold and are force to be inside lots, could you make a change in where you live?
    Your diet can be a factor, I am learning to eat better for me. I hate I can consume as much sweets as I would like, but I am feeling better.
    I am available any time you need to talk. Just message me.
    There is hope, even for a “sad B******” lol
    Linda

    1. woodsie Post author

      Thank U Linda.
      some of my post above have some of the answers to what U say. The big thing is all my spare time is as a carer so I have no time or contact with people other than doing business shopping and such I did have a few friends the first time I came to SC but after a year away I regret coming back now but can not think of an alternative, its mostly my doing as I enter chat but can not keep up or input much just never been good at small talk.
      I read this through and fail to explain myself well but do best I can, bye for now .

  4. dinny

    Hi woodsie, I also suffer from depression and am on medication. The best thing I ever did was go to my Doctor. I also am involved with a few groups, which helps. If I feel lonely I get on public transport and travel all over the place for approximately 4-5 hours, or go for a walk. I check into chatters every day and read as much as I am able. contact me if you need to talk, just don’t give up on chatters we all care Dinny

    1. woodsie Post author

      Thank U Dinny.
      I have answered most of what U say in above answers but am unable to get out as all spare time is taken up with care. so no time for hobbies, holidays and things like that.

  5. starlette

    Hello Steve, I cannot really comment on depression as thankfully it is something I don’t suffer with, but I do know there is a big difference in feeling down and clinical depression, knowing the lifestyle you have to lead now because of personal circumstances it is very hard for you to have interests outside of your home, I don’t have the answer for you my friend, but at least in SC there is always communication at whatever time of day, and that has to be better than nothing, as for fitting in, nothing to fit in with, just be yourself, you have an interest in birds and classic cars if I remember correctly, sure some of the guys will talk about cars all day long, believe me I know, anything you want to know about classic cars just ask me…….NOT…..lol…..why don’t you post some of your pics on the Activity page, I’m sure chatters will be interested to see them…….. Take care out there…xx

    1. woodsie Post author

      Star thank U.
      Have not taken pictures In a long time now star, do miss going to the shows for the cars and more so showing my own one.
      I have answered some things above But as for contact on SC it does not happen for me or very seldom, I know its my problem but small talk is something I have never mastered. I can’t think of what to add now just this horrid sense of feeling sorry for myself.

  6. laurie

    Hi Woodsie, It’s very brave of you to share your story and there are many here who will offer support and encouragement. There are also other chat sites which are specifically for people with depression that you might consider in combination with SC. And of course seek professional help for diagnosis and treatment with both medication and therapy. I wish you all the best. Laurie

  7. woodsie Post author

    Laurie thanks for the kind words.
    At the moment I am out of words but think I answer a lot of what u say above, I will try to find the alternatives U mention thank U.

  8. sylvestercat

    Hello Woodsie,You are a brave person to tell us how you feel,and I`m sure the majority if not all who read your blog feel for you and are only too willing to help,even if its just a chat and a friendly hello.From what you say in being a carer and curtailment of normal lifestyle happiness its fair enough that you should feel the way you do but maybe its not depression but rather just a feeling of despondency relative to your situation.I know the edges all too well of falling into despondency,depression and exhaustion,I care for a 100 year old father and a 96 year old mother 24/7 and I know its so easy to fall over into a void and I`m always alert for it,some days are good and some days are better.I think we are our own worse enemy when we start thinking too much on what should be but isn`t and coming to grips with that is a big step to wellness,temporary acceptance of where one is at present and endeavouring to adapt to that situation takes a lot of angst away,we are all good self healers and with a little help it will become easier.I`m not offering an answer to your predicament but I certainly can empathize with how you feel.If you ever want to chat about any of this please feel free to contact me……i have lots of funny stories of a couple of old farts dithering each day who trust me to make sure they dont dither astray hahaha,well wishes mate and take care.

    1. woodsie Post author

      Well hello sylvestercat
      Thank for your post and thoughts, I do live with depression and have been on medication for a long time now, a lot of what adds to this and brings me down is the loneliness and the desertion of family and what I thought to be friends and this makes me suspicious of people calling themselves friends now, people ask U to be a friend and after adding them or being added there is never another contact.
      Now U r doing a good job looking after both parents at such an age that must be a tough one for sure.

      A lot of my problem is selfish nothing to look forward to and not creating anything to remember so long since a holiday or even an evening away from the house as I said at the beginning Sad B******

    1. woodsie Post author

      Hello C Sweet51
      well would love some respite but there is no sales person in the world that would sell that Idea to Jill, I understand her reason but it does not help,
      Do thank U for the thought but after so long I do not think there R any bridges that have not been crossed.

      1. CSweet51

        Easier said than done but you may have to just tell her you need a break and get someone in there for a couple hours a week at least. I know that would not be easy for you but how can you help her if you are not helping yourself? You need to be filled before you can give away.

  9. blinker1

    Steve, it’s hard. Suffering from depression, ups and downs,etc. I understand that only to well. As far as chat goes on site all you have to do is raise a topic and usually someone will answer you. I know there are times when lots of people are on and it feels like everything you say gets ignored, because so many conversations are going on at the same time. When that happens I leave the site and just have a bit of me breathing time.
    As for respite care you need some. Jill may not agree to it but it may benefit her as well. You just never know till you try something. Be strong, take control and try it for a day. What is the worst than can happen?
    Look after yourself. xxx

    1. woodsie Post author

      Thanks Blinker.

      The chat thing I do not seem to be able to change been here a long time and just never been part of it just not good at group chatting.

      Now the big one respite I just can not ever see this happening, Jill so far will not have outsiders doing with her personal hygiene things other than taking her to the bathroom. Stale mate so its just dream of some free time.

      1. blinker1

        Steve, I hate to say lie, but make up some reason for her to go. The thought of it I can imagine for her is probably terrifying. I just think if she had to go it would or could show her something different. If nothing else she could come back telling you, they didn’t do this and that. Try and explain to her if something happened to you she would have to do it, so give it a try. Then she will know what she’s up against. My Aunt is like this at the moment and to long to go in to it, it’s very hard on my cousin who is not well herself. xx

        1. woodsie Post author

          Blinker I so wish I could cross this bridge, there is no way Jill will ever leave home does not matter what I say, I think she sees it as her last stand all else has been taken from here.

  10. tessa

    well if she cares for you at all she will agree that you should have some time for yourself, away from home. Her selfish attitude is killing you. She needs a good slap up side the head with some reality instead of pandering to her like a slave Steve. All the whining in the world won’t change a thing. Wallowing in self pity is comfy but it take work and a bit of selfishness of your own to keep your mind healthier. Depression isn’t easy but you have to get off your dead butt and refuse to stay that way. Behavioral Modification therapy is quite successful with those who REALLY desire to succeed rather than whine. You have to do the work, nobody can change you except you. All the denial in the universe doesn’t change that truth or make it go away. No matter what is suggested to you, you always have an excuse that prevents you from doing anything productive for yourself. I’ve been reading that kind of mish-mash for some years now. I am totally convinced that you actually don’t want any changes. I’m not mean, I’m realistic. Any other Psych would tell you the same thing at this point. You both need therapy, together and apart for your separate issues. There is plenty out there for minimal cost and some free…no matter what country you reside in. This I know for a fact. I rarely weigh in on things but you are so desperately mired in self pity and self destructive behaviors that it is hard to remain silent. I pity you terribly and I so wish you could break free of the horrid circle of crippling behaviors you have chosen to own. Loving someone DOES NOT mean giving up your life and your mind for your significant other. You deserve a life and tho it may be limited, it should be quite enjoyable, not a misery for you. Wake up man, you DESERVE to feel like a worthwhile human being.

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