Dent Et Vous?

Nothing ruins a good meal experience like the shock of a broken tooth! Especially a lower Wisdom tooth! You know, I have been trying to keep that tooth alive for a long time now! Its hammer and pedestal relationship with the upper rear tooth had been,long, taken for granted. I relied on that relationship like an old pit bull grizzeling down on a good ham bone. Great difficulty and intense focus came, trying to shift the chewing operation to side B, the right side of my mouth. Everyone over on that side of chewing establishment was not used to taking the full brunt of chewology! The entire meal was comprised of awkward and unskilled nips and bites, not upon the food substance, but upon my tongue and cheek! The coordination operation was that equivalent of a one-armed paper hanger! Immediately that same night I recalled a dentist office that resided on the very corner of my office. Bold letters acclaimed, “We cater to cowards”, a family practice! I scribbled down he number, and called for an appointment. As I entered the Dentist Office I had the impression that I was at home in someone’s living room instead of a Dentist Office. We went through the usual paper exchange of information, and upon completion a young attractive young lady cordially invited me back to the official Lair! Sitting in the luxurious reclining black leather chair, I was surroounded by state of the art digital equipment. I felt as though I had been beamed up onto an extraterrestrial craft deep in the Solar System. I was offered a small bottle of natural spring water, and the “assistant” and myself began to exchange information about my unfortunate experience. The exam was thorough, and took nearly two and one half hours! Soon the figure of a tall, thin and intimidating young man appeared, the Doctor himself! Up to this point I was so comfortable and layed back that I had almost forgotten that I was in a Dentist Office, except for the plastic instruments that were inserted into my mouth and expanded like a blow fish! I didn’t know that the human face could possibly contort to such exaggerated degrees! The young Doctor began discussing the State of the Union Address of my mouth. It was more like the Riot Act! The fractured Wisdom Tooth that originally drew me into his web had to, in his opinion, come out immediately! He told me that “there could be” some infection at the base of the tooth. I thought, “could be? There, either, is or isn’t!” How thoroughly had he look into the condition of this tooth? He had the digital images, how deeply did the damage extend? Was it repairable or not? Have you ever heard the expression, “when up to your ARSE in aligators, it is difficult to remember that the initial objective was to drain the swamp”? Well, I was up to it! You see, this young Doctor began to explain that in order for him to even begin work in my mouth, that he was going to have to revamp the entire foundation first before beginning! He wanted to start by laying my gums open and an excruciatingly difficult series of operations over a period of time! He then explained to me that my Group Dental Insurance was nothing more than a coupon booklet like we get in the mail from the local supermarket! He was determined to pull that tooth and the one above it and begin an Urban Renewal of the Taj Mahal! My first postulation to the fine doctor was that I wanted to keep the teeth that I already have, and especially my front teeth! I don’t really think that he heard a word of what I said! He gave me such overwhelming information that my head was spinning, and I could hardly even remember what I came there for in the first place! It all happened so fast. Then before I knew it, I was being led like a sheep to the slaughter, to the receptionist/cashier. She smiled and told me that this first appointment would be only twenty dollars, my copay! He he he he he!
I kept looking for, “the machine”. You know, the one that grabs you, the patient, turns you upside down, slaps your behind, and dumps every credit card, legal tender, coin, check book or breath mint, out of your pocket, turns you rightside up, and on your feet, and puts a quarter in your hand! Warning! Do not drop the quarter! I went in for an appointmet with a Dentist, but instead found a Rocket Scientist/ Entrepurnurial Opportunist! Instead of discussing what would become of the Wisdom tooth, he offered an apointment to view his, “Game Plan” on Monday at noon! I drove away with the same fractured wisdom tooth, and I had to wonder after all, if this tooth were infected, or absessed, wouldn’t it be wise to administer some form of antibiotic, in view that I had a mitro prolapse valve and a heart murmer? Resolve! I am going to find a Dentist! When I was a child I was forced to go to a dentist who refused to administer anesthetic while drilling and filling my teeth. At this point I don’t know which one was worse.