Decluttering, Joy, Possessions, Toss or LOVE
This is really about finding joy in your life. So, read on. Clutter and stuff and sorting and JOY does not go together. WELL. NOW it does for me. I had a large basement and I could just keep anything and everything and did. I never had the time, or took the time to sort and toss. Worse, I also never had time to LOVE what I did have. I led a busy life. I went to grad school and worked full time for years and did all the things that a woman does. When did I find JOY. Not often. My home was usually clean and orderly appearing to others, and I don’t like clutter so I was not a hoarder. My worst problem was that I did not focus on the JOY of what I did have.
I read many books and articles on sorting and storing, but they did not work for me. I now am reading a book, The Life-Changing Magic of tidying, by Marie Kondo, and it has helped me immensely. She says to get rid of everything that you don’t love. The important thing is that you should keep what you do love. Keep what brings you joy. You need to have more of what you love and it should not get lost in CLUTTER.
I was stymied by things that I may use in the future, etc, etc, etc. Now, I want my home to be a source of joy. My whole focus has changed. I have to go about my home CREATING Joy. I have to focus on things that I love like live plants. I need at least one in every room. It is amazing how you can lose sight of what you do love, lost in the confusion of what is CLUTTER.
I went shopping today, and I did not buy a thing that I did not love and what I did love, I bought. It was much easier to shop. Before I was confused by whether I needed it or not, or whether it was a good deal, or whether I would like it or not. Sounds silly but true. I did not enjoy shopping, now I will. If I spend time wearing and loving what I bought, I won’t need to shop for a long time.
I, also, cannot wait to find places to go and wear my new clothes. I was in a rut. I was becoming a recluse. I really was. If you focus on JOY in your things, you will focus on JOY in your life. There is LIFE-CHANGING magic in THAT.
I came home from shopping and got rid of a truckload of stuff in my garage. I found my sewing box that had gone missing. Literally, a truckload was hauled off, and I have only just begun. I wanted an empty garage more than I wanted the stuff.I was so much happier when the stuff was gone.
I am happier, every time. I clear a space of things that I don’t really want. I cannot wait to clear every thing out and be left with only the things that I need and want. I WANT a LOT of EMPTY space more than I want most of my STUFF.
This, decluttering is a joyful process. I throw out as fast as possible now, junk mail gets five minutes or less. Boxes and packaging, I trash quickly. I feel so much better already and I will feel as light as air when I am finished. Find the JOY in your life, Focus on JOY. Ask yourself often what brings JOY and do more of it. You may not want or need all the old age gadgets and devices. You will ignore a lot of dreary thoughts while you are focused On the JOY to be had.
You may say you don’t have money. Pick some wild flowers, or go to a park. Scrub and scour and enjoy the clean smell. JUST find some JOY.Don’t lose joy in the debris of life.
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Thank you for sharing roseinbloom. I’ve been thinking about downsizing lately. I’ll definitely take a look at that book.
geeljay, wrote a blog that resonated and motivated me and david I do think the book will help you. You can order it from Amazon and maybe ebay. It did take a few weeks for me to receive it when I ordered it.
I’m sorry Rose but your statement “I don’t like clutter so I was not a hoarder” implies that hoarders actually like clutter. This is a common misconception, that hoarding is a lifestyle choice, which it most emphatically is not. Hoarding is in reality a genuine psychiatric illness. This is a devastating affliction which destroys homes and ruins lives.
Laurie, Thank you for your comment and the clutter and the stress that I suffered was considerable. So, I can relate to the suffereing of people who are known as hoarders.
Hello Rose, I think we all have the little friend called….” Justin Case ” and he tends to spread himself around, in the shed, in the garage, in the drawers…………but like yourself I have been having a mega clear out, not so much on ornaments and bric a brac, I don’t save stuff like that, when I have had my fussy out with it or changed colour scheme off that goes to the charity shop………clothing has been my issue, I have bought stuff on a whim and never wore it and never will, so these are the items that are going to the charity shops, I now think once, twice and three times before I buy anything really expensive……..the less expensive stuff still gets bought on a regular basis, but I have no conscience when getting rid of the cheaper stuff ……….Gawd I prefer not to muse on the money I have wasted, but hey ho not to worry, someone benefitted somewhere……..but I feel a whole lot better for it, and its so much easy to find what I am looking for now…….well sort of….hehe….xx
Hi Rose,
just a thought and an idea of an ( old ) experienced man. Don’t you think men store items with the view they could be useful someday in the future?
How terrible must it be for any man who may needs nails and screws which he had thrown away recently and he has drive 20 / 30 miles to the next store to buy new ones?
Any man needs tools and equipment for repairs in the house or a craftsman has to do his job!
Two eyes for two different views on that subject I would like to say. Women store different from men. DIY safes money a man can spend on his wife, the better way as I believe.
Von Michael, You make a good point about why people keep things, and the book speaks to some of the reasons. Yours is a big reason to save things and it is that we may need it later or someone else will. I am getting over that. Space is valuable and time is valuable so I cannot afford to devote my time and space for items that are not used or maintained properly. Do your objects make you happy, or are they a burden to you? It is your call.The decision of what to wear gets harder the more choices you have. It can get so difficult that you would rather just stay home.You and your nails and screws, you just have to decide what you realistically need to keep. The book talks about different types of objects and how to go about it. Basically, if items take over your living space, then they become a hindrance. All things should be stored except what is lovely. I still plan to leave soap on the sink. I will clean out my counter garage and put my coffee pot in it, and then I may not. This is a process and she says it takes about 6 months and it may take me longer. Michael, being a husband, you may just need to wait till the wife complains, and then do what she says. LOL
starlette, you named it Justin case. Now the clothes thing is interesting. Remember you have to LOVE it when you buy it. The price you may is not as important as how much joy you get from it. I think we both have more than enough clothes for every occasion so the only reason we need to buy anything is to make us happier.
I just never think backwards. Saving money is another subject altogether except if you love the money more than spending it you would save more, but you should leave some room for JOY in making most decisions.
Hi everyone , just to play Devils advocate with you all, I am on the opposite side of that spectrum, a neat freak , all last years fashion that i have not worn for more than 6 months into the recycle bins, in the closet, pants hang with pants. skirts with skirts, etc: i do not go so far as to colour code all garments hahahah, my daughter called me O.C.D.C. becasue I stack the biscuits as they come neatly in the package in my biscuit tray … her hubby took a picture of the biscuit tray with his phone said he was going to show it to the guys that work for him , he claimed all women should be like lani hahahahha , i,m in trouble now …. hahahah .
My younger daughter is similar , but my older daughter is a hoarder…… lol
My pantry is all in sizes comiserate with plastic containers all in rows , so I can see when I am running short of anything… I love opening the pantry door to show off my neat cupboard hahahha ……. think I might need help !!!!!! hahahha
Lani, I would rather visit a person like you than a really messy one, but a place too, too perfect might make me nervous. Maybe some moderation is good. Now you have me wondering about the super neat ones. I will have to read a book on that.
I,m niot as bad as mrs Bucket , in that television series , I don’t have periwinkle china to be careful of Bloom hahahahha …..
I’m by no means… a messy person. I’m rather neat and have everything in its’ place. My cupboards are all neat. It’s the guest bedroom closet that is a tad disorganized (not dirty or messy). I was taught to be a good housekeeper ~ by my maternal grandmother. I’m thankful that I have a walk-in closet all to myself. Hahaha. It is pretty large. I could even put a mini fridge in there. And who knows what else. When Christmas time comes around… I am determined to donate Christmas décor, cards and wrapping paper. My Christmas list has lessened by quite a few.
I’ll have to take a pic for everyone to see… soon. Just let me get rid of the dust bunnies. LOL 😆
I also love to buy too much kitchen stuff; but, then I get bored and give it to my sister Lucy when I go visit my hometown.
I am by no means a hoarder. Just love Christmas décor.
Hi Rose,
that’s the classical case for a dicussion if men ( and in which points )
differ from women??
I can only speak for myself and can say, I store any kind of technical
items cos I never know ( if? ) or when I’ll need them.
This attitude reflects also the difference in shoping behaviour between
the Americans and the Germans ( in general I don’t know? )
As far it concerns female garments my wife and I are very conservative,
means, both of us prefer classical outfits ( the English way ) instead of
fashion that stays alive for 3 month only.
We prefer the combination of garments like many French and English women
do cos of the variety which is been given is just much, much wider.
Women you are right, store more garments with the hope they will fit in
even they have gained on more weight. On the other hand, nearly everything
will come back into fashion even it takes some years of waiting!
PS. We know a woman who still has her petticoat in the wardrobe inclusive
the hope it will come into fashion again and for that case she wearing
long hair which goes perfectly with a ponytail. A big disadvantage for
her is the fact, her legs are a bit to stiff for a Rock’n Roll.
But health can’t be stored?
Such an interesting post Rose. You brought up the hackles on many necks I’m sure, yet in a thoughtfull way, which is your “ilk”. I never stop enjoying your posts. You really make think – thanks.