Dear Mr Taxman
as you are aware, after recovering my P60 I finally submitted it on Saturday. I did suspect that over the past week or so we had grown closer but I really didn't expect all of this attention from you.
Firstly you tell me you are sending me money £185.00 I think this must be to replace all the wine I drank whilst completing the return. Very kind of you . Then you have written to me three times in 2 days Wow I haven't had that kind of attention since I was dating!
The first time you wrote told me precisely nothing, the second time you told me precisely nothing and the third time you told me I did not have to complete a self assessment tax return arrrrrrrghhhhhh
Well here is where our relationship ends, No More! In future you can contact me through 'my people' and I shall find myself another pen friend
I look forward to receiving your cheque.
PS I really don't have any 'people ' but you have to admit it sounded impressive.