Dear Milkman

It’s late in the evening…and we suddenly remember..probably prompted by something on the TV..we need to put a note out for the milkman. So, in a tired state with our mind not exactly at its sharpest, we scribble our random instructions on a scrap of paper and ram it into the neck of the bottle and hope for the best. Here are some of the results:-

‘Please leave no milk today. When I say today, I mean tomorrow,because I wrote this yesterday’

‘My daughters says she wants milkshake. Do you do it before you deliver or do I have to shake the bottle?’

‘Please send me a form for cheap milk for I have a baby two months old and did not know about it until a neighbour told me’.

‘Please close the gate behind you because the birds keep pecking the tops off the milk bottles’

‘No milk. Please do not leave milk at number 14 either because he is dead until further notice’.

‘Please could I have a loaf, but no bread today’.

‘Sorry not to have paid your bill before but my wife had a baby and I have been carrying it around in my pocket for weeks.’

‘Please leave an extra pint of paralysed milk’.

‘From now on please leave two pints every other day and one pint on the days in between. except Wednesdays and Saturdays, when I don’t want any milk’.

‘When you leave the milk please put on coal bunker, let dog out and put newspaper inside screen door.PS. Don’t leave any milk’.

Hahahah Much Love xxxxxxxx M