DANCING WITH THE STARS

Let me first say that this is not my personal opinion but that I have borrowed this for the sake of discussion.

Dancing With The Stars’ multiple wardrobe malfunctions

The Viennese Waltz and the Cha Cha are steaming up TV screens worldwide as Dancing With The Stars exposes an eye-popping amount of flesh and controversy worldwide.

Cinthia Fernandez performs the traditional Argentinean pole dance

It’s been a few years since we’ve had Dancing With The Stars on New Zealand screens but it was a relatively sedate affair compared to the international versions currently screening around the world.

The closest thing we had to a scandal was when Rodney Hide dropped his dance partner Krystal Stuart or when Cory Hutchings slung his partner’s legs around his neck, creating an awkward sort of crotch scarf.

The latest season of Dancing With The Stars in America has had some viewers up in arms about the addition of Chaz Bono, transgendered son of Cher. Allegations have been levelled at the show from conservative groups that children watching the show (who are these children watching ballroom dancing anyway? Did they time travel here from the 1950s?) would be inspired to change their gender by the sight of poor Chaz lumbering across the stage like an ungainly baby hippo.

If you’ve seen any of Bono’s interviews you will know that he has struggled with his sexuality and gender for most of his life and suffered through years of depression and suicidal thoughts; this hardly seems like an existence that anyone would wish for, let alone pursue. Of course, we can smugly say we’ve already had a transgender contestant in the form of Georgina Beyer, and we never batted an eyelid.

Then, slightly crazed broadcaster Nancy Grace slipped a nipple a la Janet Jackson and ‘Nipplegate’, although Grace has said it was actually her adhesive nipple plasters that were peeking out. Even the promise of a nipple-hued sticker has driven American audiences to cry out “won’t someone think of the children!” How quickly they forget that children are exposed to nipples from birth and really aren’t as hung up about it as their prudish parents.

But close your eyes America, the Argentinean version of Dancing With The Stars has ratcheted up the raunch to unprecedented levels of actual nakedness. Dancing With The Stars Argentina aka Bailando por un sueno doesn’t limit itself to the formality of ballroom dancing, in fact they seem to have dispensed with the classics altogether and their dances are less a choreographed routine and more of an oiled grope fest, with just a flimsy thong separating dance partners.

Cinthia Fernandez, a former contestant of Argentinean Big Brother, stripped off her top during her performance on Sunday night, in a routine that would have been completely at home in a strip club.

Just when you thought it couldn’t possibly get any more scandalous, Cinthia and her male dance partner remove their tiny, tiny g-strings, revealing that Brazilians are just as popular in Argentina, while a very nervous host tries to avert his eyes and Cinthia’s parents watch on from the audience. Cringe!

The clip is so Not Safe For Work that we can’t even link to it, but if you want to see how Dancing With The Stars Argentina differs from our version, strictly for, ahem, research purposes, the internet will point you in the right direction.