Cyberflirting: How harmful is it ?
Just re read a blog that nmod posted last year on which I commented………16 months down the line have my opinions changed, yes they have somewhat, I was pretty new to chat sites, was too trusting, i believed and judged people on the words they typed, big mistake………got hurt……..met up with three in real life…..women I hasten to add……… they couldn’t have been more opposite to the images and characters I had created in my mind……big disappointment, maybe I was to them too……… the mind is a powerful tool indeed, imagination plays tricks……… lessons were learnt, hate to admit it, but I have now become more cynical and wary……….but I’m quite good now at sussing out the ones with ulterior motives…… I have formed what I believe are genuine friendships on here and long may they last……
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I was so naïve Star when I first came on to this chat site. I have lived and learned as we all do. I know by my instincts now who are good friends and who are best forgotten……Good blog….xx
I suppose we are all naïve and don’t know what to expect when we come on here but in real life I find it hard to make friends and do like making friends on here. I suppose its because I’m quiet and a little bit standoffish that I find it hard to make friends. on here everyone just takes me for what I are.
In order to make friends, we have to share a deeper layer than we like, and I also have trouble with that, and I have trouble making friends. I have many people here that have been good to me and good for me, but I don’t think we are real friends yet, but being good to me and for me is worth a lot.
Rose, you don’t have to reveal more of yourself than you are happy with…….now that just’s sounds wrong doesent it……lol………you can become friends with people without revealing intimate details of your life……….personal problems you can share if you wish to, after having got to know someone well enough…….. a problem shared is a problem halved and all that, especially if you are looking for advice….xx
Star, I do hope that I am one of your genuine friends as I think you are an awesome person.
Tans, what can I say?!? I just want YOU to love pies; all kinds of pies. 😆
Powderpuff, I think you are a wonderful person and feel lucky that I have met you, Star and Tans.
Back to baking more pies for Tania (Tans). Hehehehe…
And I am sure you are being your truthful honest self powderpuff………..not a lot to ask of anyone is it………xx
Starlette,Thank you for a great blog.I love the little picture, and your soul baring honest. I wrote a longer comment further down.
Yep the little pic….lol not too much to ask for is it !!…..xx
Thankyou so much Pam, praise indeed, and yes you are most certainly a genuine friend of mine……….someone I know I could confide in if need be, and that is a good thing to know……xx
I agree with Pam. I am lucky to have Powderpuff, Star, and Pam as friends.
Can you tell by now that I don’t take much ~ seriously. I’d much rather laugh and have fun with my friends here. It is so much joyful.
I, as I’ve said before (about 100 times) 😆 have been chatting since around 1998 or 1999. I, too learned my lessons as to not trust so easily. You just never know what the person typing to you is really like.
You do right Pam not to take life too seriously……….last night a friend and i were messing around with the chat video, I managed to get it once but was talking to myself lol……..maybe can detect sincerity more if hearing the actual voice…forget the pies, what about all those yummy luscious cakes that you post…have me drooling you do……lol xx
Senior Chat is exactly what I was looking for. No pressure, no mess, no fuss, no hassle! I love to come in here knowing that I am usually talking to real people with real feelings. Love this site and the people I have met on here. We can laugh at ourselves, each other and at life in general. We can cry and feel emotions and be there for each other. We can all learn from each other. Thank you all for being on here!
Seems to me that cyberflirting and real life flirting have much the same rules….If one is attached in any way,be it marriage or an emotional attachment of any kind,one should not do it with 3rd persons.
Its cheating…Plain and simple.
Got it in one caps……..xx
I agree Cappuccino, there are many wonderful people here but married people looking for something on the side are not among them.
And that is exactly as it should be sweets….xx
I cant think of a better place or nicer people i would want to spend my time with , i can,t beleive how nervous i was when i joined Chatters, it was my first Chat site and didnt know what to expect ,i was so warmly welcomed , and have met some of the most awsome people here,some i have made firm friends with and others who are most caring and sincere , a cple of guys have been a nuiscance but not for long , they soon loose interest when they know you are not paying a lot of attention to them and wander to another , and thats o.k. as well, but most males and females are great people … and I care for you all….xxxxx
With you on that one Lani………….most are wonderful genuine people…xx
Good morning Star,
very interesting question, great blog I have to admit. That leads me to a question which I will come up with later on. xxxM
Hello Michael, I await with trepidation….lol…xxx
Starlette, thank you for a blog subject that all of us need to talk about. Thank you for sharing honestly. As to cyber flirting, FIRST it can be powerful, and anything powerful is dangerous. I know that first hand. I only got friendly with one man and he had character and I admire and respect him but I discontinued the contacts after I got involved with a man in real life. Cyber flirting is real also, and we all need to play by the same rules that we do in real life. People find joy and love on the internet; no question about it. Cyber friendship has real benefits, like we can be more honest, but it also can be more dangerous for the same reason. Starlette “sussing” people out is a needed lesson and we can always be fooled, so we all still need to be careful. Thanks for a blog that helps remind us of this.
Well unfortunately Rose my lesson was learnt the hard way……….but with that came knowledge and experience ……… but hey Ho……….I’m a wiser chick now….lol….xx
patak your words are so true i know one person on here thats want to take a serious look at themselves so watch your self she loves grooming married man mentioning no names
Star flirting on here is not something I condone even though some might think it innocent fun. I’m not a prude by any means but I believe chatters who want to flirt particularly those who are married should take a serious look at themselves.
Well patak I would never slate anyone off for flirting……….gosh !! would I be the hypocrite, done more than my fair share out there in the lobby………just when it carries on into private chat that the infatuations can begin…..xx
I agree with you ilsab. I have been told I am honest to a fault.
My opinion is that Honesty is the best policy and i always follow that rule : )
Honesty always ilsab…..xx
Starlette. I like your comment on Honesty. I totally agree.
Cyber Flirting: How harmful is it?? A question Star that sets my alarm bell full in action!!!
Is it wrong from my side to believe you’ve got the cart before the horse?? A flirt by definition means the exchange of words until a certain point and has nothing to do with friendship at all.
The first part of your question is ** Cyber ** which if I’m right means a virtual illusory world. In a world like this I can’t expect truth and honesty from strange people. That’s an illusion itself because our halo wants to shine more than our shoes.
As I mentioned it before in one of my posts I’m not very keen on making many friendships here at the SC. I select very carefully whom I want to come closer with
and whom I keep on distance.
One criterion are the blogs here where I find the opportunity reading between the lines of the author. I don’t pay much attention to the pics I get to see. No the chosen words disclose the secret of person. And any layer has to have a very good memory remembering the lays which were said or printed. xxxM
vonMichael. I also looked up the definition of flirting, but a certain amount of communication between males and females is done lightly and then it grows more serious, and there are always problems if one party takes bantering, or flirting more seriously than intended.
Michael quite right and well said.
Hello Michael, well you seem to have a different concept on expecting strangers to be truthful and honest………and maybe being a man you are not as naïve and trusting as a women might be, so you see it as being on our best behaviour when we are in here, yes, think you are right on that one, wouldn’t have many friends if we were nasty would we……as for the chosen words, well maybe from the blogs you can detect the character and personality of a person……….BUT…………and this is a big but, words are also carefully chosen and selected in private chat too……..and there lies the problem………do we trust too much………….Michael, as always was good to have your very carefully thought out reply, a different take on things………always good to have a mans opinion on the blogs…..Star xxx
Star, I think with blogs you can usually see from the subject what a person is really like.
That’s right patak to a degree………. but hope you never judge me on some of the blogs I put up……..Oh Lordy noooooo……..
Never star
After re-reading your blog, Star, and my own comment…I just want to add that I agree with you that trusting too easily can be a problem. I too have learned to be more cautious and pay attention to things that are “red flags” to me.
Hello Star,
be that as it may you see it. Human ( female or male ) are rivals cos we are part of the nature.
Many people are generous donors of honey for the ears. Many of them I met in business and throughout my life talked like a vacuum-cleaner salesman at the front door.
Besides that I got to know quite a few women who wanted to work with men but not with women which must have had a reason.
Cyber talks / chats on facebook, any kind of forum a.s.o. can never replace a talk face to face. Facial expressions are of very importance for me. xxxM
Hello Michael, I so agree with you regarding face to face contact, the eyes are the mirror to the soul so it is said………or even hearing the voice can be helpful….. yes I can understand why women would prefer to work with men, not for any kind of sexual reasons, but because men are not as bitchy as some women can be, they are not as complicated, will do the job in hand without any if’s and but’s………I can speak from experience on this one having been the manager over many men throughout the years…………give me male staff any day of the week……….and in there own special way they are always protective of the women, that’s what I found………..although I think the sexes are never going to fully understand each other I do love the differences between us……….kind of balances things out…..xxx
This is also a very interesting topic for me as a married woman. I discovered over 40 social sites in recent years . I purposely looked for a “Friendship” site as opposed to a dating site. I always make clear that I am married on my profile.
The fact is, I have always been outgoing, love to talk to people and make new friends. I love to banter and joke around a lot. I also enjoy a serious discussion and love to share about life experiences and views. Sites like this one are even more important to me now that I am a full-time caregiver and can’t get out among people close to my age very often.
All that being said, I have had the experience several times, of chatting with a man, (quite often married too), who asks “Does your husband know you are chatting on here?” Now, I get a wee bit defensive about that. Yes, he does actually, why? A guy told me recently “Well, it’s been my experience that when married women are on these sites, they are usually looking for something outside their marriage.” Hmm, alrighty then! Certainly, let us all make assumptions about people’s motives. Especially those we don’t even know.
Male/female friendships, communication, and attraction can be tricky, I’ll be the first to acknowledge that. But I also know that men and women can treat each other with respect and learn much from each other!
Kaybe like I said, does not take a genius to work out what their intentions are…when I first joined I was asked if my man friend and I….ermm……….and another, have I ever had an affair…..why would I be asked theses things ……..thought it was strange ……..testing the waters maybe…….lol you cannot beat a tryer…….xx