CANADA EH?
I received this blog today from a fellow Canadian friend and thought you all would enjoy it. What makes it especially funny to us that so much of it is absolutely TRUE! LOL
Subject: Where to live in Canada
Canada eh?!
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN BRITISH COLUMBIA
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1. Vancouver : 1.5 million people and two bridges. You do the math.
2. Your $400,000 Vancouver home is just 5 hours from downtown.
3. You can throw a rock and hit three Starbucks locations.
4. There’s always some sort of deforestation protest going on.
5. Weed.
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ALBERTA
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1. Big rock between you and B.C.
2. Ottawa who?
3. Tax is 5% instead of the approximately 200% as it is for the rest of the country.
4. You can exploit almost any natural resource you can think of.
5. You live in the only province that could actually afford to be its own country.
6. The Americans below you are all in anti-government militia groups.
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN SASKATCHEWAN
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1. You never run out of wheat.
2. Your province is really easy to draw.
3. You can watch the dog run away from home for hours.
4. People will assume you live on a farm.
5. Daylight savings time? Who the hell needs that!
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN MANITOBA
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1. You wake up one morning to find that you suddenly have a beachfront property.
2. Hundreds of huge, horribly frigid lakes.
3. Nothing compares to a wicked Winnipeg winter.
4. You can be an Easterner or a Westerner depending on your mood.
5. You can pass the time watching trucks and barns float by.
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ONTARIO
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1. You live in the centre of the universe.
2. Your $400,000 Toronto home is actually a dump.
3. You and you alone decide who will win the federal election.
4. The only province with hard-core American-style crime.
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN QUEBEC
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1. Racism is socially acceptable.
2. You can take bets with your friends on which English-speaking neighbour will move out next.
3. Other provinces basically bribe you to stay in Canada …
4. You can blame all your problems on the “Anglos”
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK
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1. One way or another, the government gets 98% of your income.
2. You’re poor, but not as poor as the Newfies.
3. No one ever blames anything on New Brunswick …
4. Everybody has a grandfather who runs a lighthouse.
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NOVA SCOTIA
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1. Everyone can play the fiddle.. The ones who can’t, think they can.
2. You can pretend to have Scottish heritage as an excuse to get drunk and wear a kilt.
3. You are the only reason Anne Murray makes money.
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN PRINCE EDWARD ISLAND
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1. Even though more people live on Vancouver Island , you still got the big, new bridge.
2. You can walk across the province in half an hour.
3. You can drive across the province in two minutes.
4. Everyone has been an extra on “Road to Avonlea.”
5. This is where all those tiny, red potatoes come from..
6. You can confuse ships by turning your porch lights on and off at night.
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEWFOUNDLAND
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1. If Quebec separates, you will float off to sea.
2. If you do something stupid, you have a built-in excuse.
3. The workday is about two hours long.
4. It is socially acceptable to wear your hip waders to your wedding.
The Official Canadian Temperature Conversion Chart:
50 Fahrenheit (10 C)
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
Canadians plant gardens.
35 Fahrenheit (1.6 C)
Italian Cars won’t start
Canadians drive with the windows down and still wear shorts and T-shirts.
32 Fahrenheit (0 C)
American water freezes
Canadians have the last cookout of the season
0 Fahrenheit (-17..9 C)
New York City landlords finally turn on the heat.
Canadians Girl Guides still sell cookies door-to-door.
-60 Fahrenheit (-51 C)
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
Canadians pull down their earflaps.
-109.9 Fahrenheit (-78.5 C)
Carbon dioxide freezes makes dry ice.
Canadians get frustrated when they can’t thaw the keg.
-173 Fahrenheit (-114 C)
Ethyl alcohol freezes.
Canadians get a day off of work to go tobogganing.
-459.67 Fahrenheit (-273.15 C)
Absolute zero; all atomic motion stops.
Canadians start saying “cold, eh?”
-500 Fahrenheit (-295 C)
Hell freezes over.
The Toronto Maple Leafs win the Stanley Cup
Lol Jojo, I think I will take SASKATCHEWAn, it sounds about my speed of living. And yes I copied that lol, because I couldn’t spell it.
Saskatchewan has bitterly cold winters Kiwi and the land there is all flat as the proverbial pancake. If you love flat fields of wheat and not another damn thing, then Saskatchewan is for you!!
Although I knew it had an Indian connotation (they prefer to call themselves “First Nation” these days, not Indians) I looked it up on Google and here is what it said:
“he name for the province of Saskatchewan comes from the Cree, who called the Saskatchewan River “Kisiskatchewani Sipi,” meaning “swiftly flowing river.” so obviously “kisi” means something different in Cree than it does to the rest of us! Haha
Thanks so much for your comment
Joanna I have been to British Columbia and loved Victoria. have been to Vancouver, Toronto, Montreal and so would probally pick Victoria , B.C. out of the other area’s of Canada I have been too. I would love to visit Nova Scotia one day and Quebec also. Enjoyed reading this and thanks for sharing it with us.
Wow Rose Marie – you’ve seen a heck of a lot of Canada, but Cape Breton, Nova Scotia, is a definite must for you to visit. It’s the most beautiful of all the Provinces in my humble opinion, and Cape Bretoners are the sault of the earth. Alexander Graham Bell madewee town of Beddeck on the island, his home and said that for natural beauty, nothing could equal that of Cape Breton. His descendants still live in his home, so it isn’t open to the public, but there is a museum nearby with stuff about him.
If you go to Nova Scotia, be sure to drive around the Cabot Trail. It’s spectacular.
We lived in Marion Bridge, just 16 kms south west of Sydney, for 18 months, and it was one of the most wonderful happy experiences of our lives.
Thanks so much for your comment.