Bullying=Fashion…..
Hello Peeps…….now I know that bullying goes on in schools……..but I find it very disturbing what I have just read on my Facebook page……a mother has posted asking what is the best school bag she should buy for her daughter, one that she will not get bullied about…….What The Heck !!!!………comments were posted suggesting various shops, but someone had the audacity to suggest Primark a cheap and cheerful shop……….Gasp !! Shock!! Horror !!…….Oh Nooooo you cannot buy one of theirs she will definitely get bullied……..I am appalled and lost for words…….why are parents buying into this……..ok yes I know why, they are doing it for their kids…….but surely if there was a standard school kit including bags as well as the uniform then this one up man ship might seize……wish full thinking I suppose cos then it would be hair, nails etc…….high maintenance these kids of today…….who is to blame ?….who is at fault ?
Recommend0 recommendationsPublished in Senior Chatters
As far as I can see it, and while I think competition is important to progress, the whole problem of bullying comes back to the parents of the person doing the bullying. My theory is that those that are bullied do not feel sufficiently loved. When I was a little kid, I was taller and generally bigger than others in my class – I’m talking before 8 years old. Others turned to me for protection but I was never involved in fights or conflicts – and I wasn’t that big! I certainly don’t take credit for that, but those values must have been instilled into me by my parents. I have four children, with the youngest now being 41 and while one of them had issues with being demeaned, they are all now successful in their own right. Most of this comes down IMHO to self esteem. If a child feels they are – and have – value, and it is known that they have active family support, they tend not to be bullied.
Just my 2cents worth!
Hi Frank….ty for your two pence worth…..my currency..lol…….I have to somewhat agree with you here……I feel that if you can instil confidence into kids and they know they have support from their families then they wouldn’t be a target for bullies…..with confidence almost anything is achievable….
Bullies tend to be cowards. In a lot of cases (admittedly not all) if the child they are trying to bully has the guts to face them down, most will run for the hills.
Hi there Way…….cannot imagine anyone ever bullying you…lol………often bullies are in packs but not so brave on their own……I guess its kinda hard to stand up to more than one……..bullying in my opinion often stems from jealousy, not always of course……anyone looking slightly different, out of the norm as it were are often a target……as are the pretty girls in the school…
I was cross eyed and wore glasses as a kid, my Dad taught me how to box and after that very few kids ever tried to bully me, the few that did learned quick. I know now days that some would think this was terrible but it worked for me and I love my Dad for caring enough to teach me.
Hello Nat……the good old fashioned way….probs would be frowned upon to day but there is something to be said for the age old solutions…..glad it worked for you, and your Dad taught you to defend yourself out of love……..
There was never any Bullying when we were young, I know that often the Bullies pick on children that are weak. My brothers were also taught to box, but really this should never go on.
Hi Tania…..I can never remember any bullying when I was at school……I didn’t care for school but I wasn’t terrified to go as many victims of bullying are today…….how they must dread each day……something has gone badly wrong with some of todays generation……..will not say all cos there are many decent young lads and girls out there……..I have seen programmes where the victims have met their bullies many years later……the bullies don’t even remember how they acted but it has stayed with the victim for life…….no amount of apologies can compensate for the confidence and self esteem that was taken away from the victim…….
Very good blog Star. Sadly bullying is rife in a lot of schools, and also on social media, which has made it easier for the bully to sit behind a screen and be a bully. Schools here have school uniforms, so everyone is the same, but the school bag is not uniform. I understand this mothers dilema. Sad that it has come to this. Bad enough when children are being bullies but then you get adults that should know better. But as a victim you have to ignore and realize that the bully is delusional and its actually a condition they have, then its easier to ignore and feel sorry for the bully. Like it was said , we didnt seem to have as much as this when we went to school. Why do you think that is? Its an interesting question. Thank you
Hi Ma………we live in a very materialistic world……..both parents very often work today meaning kids are left in the care of others, or when older to fend for themselves……..less time from the parents is invested in them………expensive techy stuff is bought for them, gawd knows what they download and view unsupervised…….the days are gone when the dad was the breadwinner and mum was home keeping the family unit together…….maybe it could be that way again if expensive show pieces in the home were not a priority……..can only wish….
You have hit the nail on the head there Star. A house is not a home, if you have all these expensive things that kids and grandkids have to walk on eggshells in case they break something,. That is not an inviting family home. 🙂
starlette,
Not sure with this one it is a very broad area where bullying comes from or starts. Has a child been made self conscience and therefore appears weak, easy prey. I can relate in a way to this, having a father dying of cancer, I was aged four, not old enough to start school in those years, no child care, so busy grandparents took elder sister and myself under their wings to ease mum’s worry, had a younger sister just 2 yrs old. I would follow older sister to school gate and gaze in at kids on swings at small one teacher country school. There one of the bigger girls would call out “Stare, stare, like a bear, like a monkey in the air” This for some reason burnt into my memory. I was lucky the kindly teacher knowing my background spoke to my grandparents and I was enrolled and went to school. This teacher made a point of welcoming me. To me the bully is often one who wants to be centre of attention, to make themselves popular they pick on someone they see as easy target and often that target is unable to counter the bully. Sadly comparing each other is often the breeding ground to each wanting to better the other and leads to much hurt and strife.
Hello 5 mintbreak……so many reason why a bully is a bully……rich spoilt kids who want for nothing are obviously bullies too…….poor kids jealous of what others have are bullies too…….is it a inbuilt nastiness in that person ??………I am thinking a lot could be peer pressure…….just seems a lot more profound today….
It’s sad when unpleasant events from decades ago are still so vivid in ones mind. I am transported back to junior school , as if it were yesterday , when I was bullied almost daily by one girl until my form teacher noticed and put a stop to it. I think that’s when I decided , probably unconsciously , to grow a thicker skin and to a great degree that influenced me down the years.
Hi Scorpio……still after all these years you can remember it vividly…….bad memories stay with us as do wonderful ones……its said bullied children sometimes go on to be bullies, as abused children go onto be abusers……so as you say it could be the reason why you developed a tougher skin……some could have gone a few steps further and themselves become a bully……its a shame the thought that childhood bullying has caused some people to become hard and bitter……or indeed the opposite timid and lacking in confidence……….
I hated my school years. Full of bullies and victims. You either joined the pack of bullies, or became a victim. I admired the few that could remain in the middle. I never understood how they managed it.
Hello Polly……..its beyond me how or why people are bullies, lots of theories…….I just think there has to be a nasty spiteful streak in them……..when I was a kid we were pretty much all on the same level financially at school…….there was one girl in class whose family were “rich”…compared to us, we used to love to see her dresses when out of school, but we still all played together, maybe a bit of envy but never any snide remarks….would just be…..Ohhh I love your dress !! and we never shunned her or her us……