An odd customer
I have a friend who works in a local independent wool shop (there are few of those left in the UK so it is a thriving business) and this is a true story of a customer who walked in during her first week.
A man in his fifties enters the shop – there is only my friend and this customer in the place.
‘Hello’ he says.
‘How can I help you?’ replies my friend.
‘I want some button holes’ he states.
‘Oh – I’m sorry we don’t do those here, you want the florist further down, they do buttonholes for weddings and things like that.’
‘No,’ the man persists. ‘I want button *holes*.’
A puzzled silence hangs in the air while my friend thinks about this for a second.
‘You mean buttons? We have lots of buttons on the wall behind you….’
‘…I have the buttons,’ interrupts the man. ‘I need the holes for them.’
My friend first looks at the man to see if he is serious. He is. Then she glances outside to see if somebody is trying to set her up as part of a practical joke. There is nobody outside. She tries a new tack.
‘Er, do you mean the patches that you put behind button holes to strengthen them?’
Now the man is adopting a patient but increasingly insistent attitude.
‘No, he states slowly. ‘I mean the holes to put the buttons through.’
‘There’s no such thing.’
‘Yes there are – I’ve seen them.’
‘But …. I don’t think you have sir.’
‘I have seen them. I have buttons and I need holes for them’, he insists, talking to my friend as she were a simpleton. ‘The holes you put buttons through.’
Finally my friend runs out of possibilities and resorts to exasperation.
‘But … but … how can I sell you *holes*?’
‘They have edging around them.’
‘Ummm …’
‘In different sizes.’
My friend decides he is a lunatic and that it’s time to get rid of him.
‘Try Osbournes the stationer – I’m sure they have them there.’
‘Oh I never thought of that. Thanks!’ he replies and leaves the shop heading in the direction of Osbournes.
Today, on the counter of the wool shop, there is an empty flower pot with a sign attached to it that reads:
“Assorted holes for buttons – free with every Button pack”
Quite how Osbournes handled this customer is an unknown story.
Both of my sons work in retail and both have similar sorts of stories about idiot customers.
I’d love to have been there when he tried the stationers though, lol
Me too Way – he was one determined dude!
Hi Owl, well yes I can believe that story, our mind just does not rationalise things at times, for a number of years I have had a super duper sewing machine that does everything, I know it has a buttonholer attachment but I have never had any need to use it, but in my mind I thought of it as a attachment for sewing buttons on until last week when I saw a demonstration of it being used……..the actual button is measured and it makes and sews the outline of the buttonhole to that size, you cut the centre out…….now if I had thought rationally about it and noted the description…..buttonholer………I wouldn’t have been under a misapprehension of what it actually did……..words play tricks on the mind at times………elementary my dear Watson….elementary….
Hello Star
For all she knew the guy might have been asking for a legitimate item that he had seen in a magazine or on TV. But he insisted that it was the holes he wanted – you can’t really do much with a request like that 🙂
I used to work for a Nob Hill hotel in San Francisco, as night manager.
I could tell stories forever about the insane requests that came my way over the years. I, in fact, blogged extensively about one such incident, on another site. I will send it to you.
The General Public will always deliver the weird and the wonderful Lynn. I have avoided working with the public for my whole life as I doubt I would ever have the patience to deal with them without some sort of murder being committed, and I think prison food would not be to my taste.
Nice one Owl,When i started work as a young kid in a large government department us newies would be sent from dept to dept and each dept would send us along to another dept including the garage manager and the head cleaner.Our task was to get a sheaf of verbal agreement forms and a few long weights.After a few hours and returning to my section to see the mirth on my fellow workers faces it was all worth it and over the years I had lots of fun doing the same to newies.
Sylv
Funny but cruel. At the factory where I started work the foreman used to send apprentices to the stores for Long Stands, left handed screwdrivers, and tins of tartan paint. Never failed to amuse.