Albert and the Lion.
For all my shout friends!. The Brits know this poem..Do you still want to go to Blackpool my over the water friends? LOL. 🙂 🙂
There’s a famous seaside place called Blackpool,
That’s noted for fresh air and fun,
And Mr and Mrs Ramsbottom
Went there with young Albert, their son.
A grand little lad was young Albert,
All dressed in his best; quite a swell
With a stick with an ‘orse’s ‘ead ‘andle,
The finest that Woolworth’s could sell.
They didn’t think much of the Ocean:
The waves, they were fiddlin’ and small,
There was no wrecks and nobody drownded,
Fact, nothing to laugh at at all.
So, seeking for further amusement,
They paid and went into the Zoo,
Where they’d Lions and Tigers and Camels,
And old ale and sandwiches too.
There were one great big Lion called Wallace;
His nose were all covered with scars –
He lay in a somnolent posture,
With the side of his face on the bars.
Now Albert had heard about Lions,
How they was ferocious and wild –
To see Wallace lying so peaceful,
Well, it didn’t seem right to the child.
So straightway the brave little feller,
Not showing a morsel of fear,
Took his stick with its ‘orse’s ‘ead ‘andle
And pushed it in Wallace’s ear.
You could see that the Lion didn’t like it,
For giving a kind of a roll,
He pulled Albert inside the cage with ‘im,
And swallowed the little lad ‘ole.
Then Pa, who had seen the occurrence,
And didn’t know what to do next,
Said ‘Mother! Yon Lion’s ‘et Albert’,
And Mother said ‘Well, I am vexed!’
Then Mr and Mrs Ramsbottom –
Quite rightly, when all’s said and done –
Complained to the Animal Keeper,
That the Lion had eaten their son.
The keeper was quite nice about it;
He said ‘What a nasty mishap.
Are you sure that it’s your boy he’s eaten?’
Pa said “Am I sure? There’s his cap!’
The manager had to be sent for.
He came and he said ‘What’s to do?’
Pa said ‘Yon Lion’s ‘et Albert,
‘And ‘im in his Sunday clothes, too.’
Then Mother said, ‘Right’s right, young feller;
I think it’s a shame and a sin,
For a lion to go and eat Albert,
And after we’ve paid to come in.’
The manager wanted no trouble,
He took out his purse right away,
Saying ‘How much to settle the matter?’
And Pa said “What do you usually pay?’
But Mother had turned a bit awkward
When she thought where her Albert had gone.
She said ‘No! someone’s got to be summonsed’ –
So that was decided upon.
Then off they went to the P’lice Station,
In front of the Magistrate chap;
They told ‘im what happened to Albert,
And proved it by showing his cap.
The Magistrate gave his opinion
That no one was really to blame
And he said that he hoped the Ramsbottoms
Would have further sons to their name.
At that Mother got proper blazing,
‘And thank you, sir, kindly,’ said she.
‘What waste all our lives raising children
To feed ruddy Lions? Not me!’
Marriott Edgar
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Shadow , Enjoyed reading this poem about Abert and the Lion.
Just thought i would keep you all safe marie!. All sorts of things happen at the seaside!! lol. 🙂 🙂
this used to be on the radio regular years ago. i cant remember the blokes name who narrated it? we will learn this for our trip hee hee!
Was it stanly hollaway jcb? something like that. Its terribly old this poem. I thought the same..we could all sing it in your little robin while on the moterway! LOL. 🙂
Stanley Holloway…… the man was genius
thank you elvera that as kept me awake all night thinking who it was. you can go to the top of the class hee hee!
oh, there ya go jcb.. elvera has told us who narrated the poem. Thank you elvera. 🙂
Oh i can just see, or should I say hear us, jcb standing and shouting it out the ..oh I cant wait windows as we drive to Blackpool.!!!!!!! enjoyed it shads mac
LOL mac. Hope we dont get pulled over by the police!!! I will just have to pop my head out of the window!..get it? haha. :). x
Oh i can just see, or should I say hear us, jcb standing and shouting it out the windows..oh I cant wait as we drive to Blackpool.!!!!!!! enjoyed it shads mac
We’ll be safe – the lion only likes to eat little boys hehehehe – he wants fresh meat not old tough stuff hahahaha – good one shads xoxox
beggers cant be choosers these days forever!!!. …they will have to make do with us, or starve!!! haha!. 🙂
The more I learn about Blackpool, the more anxious I am to get on the back of that trike with 50 others !!! Thank you for sharing… Shadow and thank you Forever for letting me know I will be safe there…:-) Getting old has it’s privileges..LOL
Dont be scared nitajoy..live a little..knock the coppers hat off…then run! LOL.
hey nita…you are right to be anxious hun…den of iniquity my dad used to call it hahaha!!! I think we should all learn this poem for the trip tho’ hahaha!!!! 😀 😀 😀
This is one of my favourite monologues; there are two follow up monologues to it too. The insurance man, and the return of Albert. The monologuist (yes they are called that,) was a prolific writer of humerous monologues – but his name escapes for the minute. Anyway shadow – I loved it. Thank you for posting it.
Happy it brought happy memories back lawrence. Thanks . 🙂