ABOUT THE FACTS OF LIFE C 2001 Jojo
I was brought up with the tooth fairy, Santa Claus and of course, the stork. I believed in them ardently, so much so I wrote a letter to the stork asking him to bring me two babies (I decided to hedge my bets, hoping that if I asked for two, I might get at least one). To my astonishment, the stork sent me a nice typewritten reply (I would’ve recognized Mum’s handwriting – the crafty so and so)!! He said I was too young to have babies, but promised that once I’d grown up he’d bring me a boy and a girl. I was disappointed, but resigned.
I was determined that with my kids, if they asked where babies came from, I would give them the truth. No stork or cabbage patch story for my kids – oh no, they’d get the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth!
Mike, aged 4, was the first to ask about the facts of life. I thought I’d done myself proud. I told him everything, I drew pictures, I gave it to him straight. An hour or so later, Mike was sitting on the front step with his sister Mandy. They always sat with their arms around each other – it was the cutest thing. Anyhow, I shamelessly listened in to their conversation.
“Mummy told me where babies come from today,” Mike said.
“Oh yeah? What did she say?”
“Well, it goes like this. When a Mummy and a Daddy decide they want to have a baby, the Mummy eats an egg and it goes right down to the bottom of her stomach. Then the Daddy buys a packet of seeds from Steinburg’s (grocery store) which he eats and it goes down into his dink and he puts his dink inside the Mummy – I don’t know how he does this – and out the seeds pop out and swim to where the egg is, and it goes into the egg and turns into a baby.”
“I don’t believe you – how can an egg with a seed in it, turn into a baby?”
“I dunno, but Mummy said it does.”
“I didn’t know seeds could swim.” Mandy said.
“No, neither did I, but that’s what Mummy told me. Anyhow, the egg with the seed inside it stays inside her tummy until it’s all growed into a baby then it comes out. But the Mummy mustn’t drink too much water while the baby is inside her, or the baby will DROWNDED!”
“How does the baby come out?” Mandy wanted to know.
“The doctor makes a hole in the Mummy’s tummy and pulls it out.”
I crept away – so much for giving him the facts of life – bless his heart, he’d reduced them to his level of understanding.
Recommend0 recommendationsPublished in Senior Chatters
Jo Jo , Well this story was really funny I laughed out loud.
So glad you enjoyed it AnneMarie – it certainly is a very special memory for me.
Oh i did laugh at this post jojo, thank you for making me laugh today. I am sorry i dont always get around to commenting on some of your post, but believe me i do read them..and this one was a cracker :).
Thanks so much Shadow – it was a cute and unforgettable experience for me. Kids say the cutest things don’t they? lol
A very unique version of the birds and the bees!!
Yes it was unique sunflower, reduced to his level of understanding, bless him. Thanks for your comment
Ah! So the story I got about cabbages was,nt true??
No Lofty, I can testify to the fact that it wasn’t true. I went to our cabbage patch almost daily hopefully looking around for babies and never found even one! Damn!
What was even more infuriating is that I prayed very hard for a brother – 3 years old than I am – and that didn’t happen either! Double Damn!
Loved it jojo ,made me think of my daughter, when I got her a cabbage patch doll,she told me in no uncertain terms that I ” told her that babies didn’t come from the cabbage patch” so how come she had a cabbage patch doll? I must be wrong they do ! No arguing with the logic of little kids.
I think it’s so cute that your daughter told you her cabbage patch dolly didn’t come from a cabbage patch! But I’ll bet she loved her just the same!
Thanks so much for your comment – glad you enjoyed it.
Cabbage patches? Storks? hmmmmm all new to me! Darn, I was told I came out of the dam WOOD PILE!
From the damn WOODPILE pianerman?? Whatever next? Hahaha.
I remember looking up at the sky anxiously to see if there was a stork flying over carrying a little bundle! Alas, it never happened! 🙁
Thanks so much for your comment – I really appreciate it
What? You mean it isn’t the way your son said? Well I’ll be darned. Learn something new every day.
Wow Jo I love the ding I think the ding goes dong and wham bam slam jam baby time. Just me being a little silly hope it is not offensive. All in all Jo I love reading you posts.