A Birthday Status Report: My Restoration Has Begun

Today is my 53 birthday. I've not celebrated it in several years but today I do have a few plans. I didn't avoid celebrating it because of some kind of fear of aging, but rather because of the remaining perceived clarity of a horrific evening. However upon hindsight I now realize such images were far from clear, but rather full of emotion and darkness. I realize now that in such darkness I was in need of help, but the kind u can't imagine receiving, can't form into words, and fearfully refuse to see. People often say that ''time heals'' and sometimes that is true. But for others, clarity and light heals. Today on my 53 birthday and this third anniversary of a life changing event, I'm proud to say that I do see more light, and I do feel more clarity. And I will enjoy being with others, I will smile and laugh, I will allow myself to have fun, and in keeping with the well-wishers, look forward to as many more good days as time allows.

what brings us light and clarity from darkness? what gives us hope when all is lost? why are we often times ''help resistant?''. I've heard many times of recent months the impression that people like to help people but only in the context that they are ''ready'', and that ultimately people need to help themselves. I suppose sometimes this is true, however at other times, their readiness is not something to be observed by others in criteria, and that it is the many intangible things that are of the real assistance.

But we do like to help people within our own criteria, don't we? we like its evidence, we like gratitude, we like to choose our own methods, and certainly we value the tax deductions. We like to be assured that they really deserve our time, attention and money. But sadly, I believe the dynamic of need is far deeper than many people see and the help that is the most productive is often unrecognized completely by both those in need as well as by those providing aid. Limiting our helpful spirits to our own comfort zone is leaving out an enormous segment of society to the wolves in their fog and darkness. And often it is really only a socially accepted excuse to remain in our fun, happy little worlds without contributing anything at all. It is the kindness and generosity of our spirits that start to restore the hopefulness to their world vision. It is not the validation of statistics and feedback.

Happy birthday and happy anniversary to me! may my 53rd year be full of the kind of coping strategies that continue to receive the light of others, may I feel all that I need to feel, and may I be in positions this year that begin to clarify the fog of those in my world as well as tangibly being of service in my true ability.

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Published in Senior Chatters

Comments

  1. trixibell123

    Happy Birthday Cat …. you have so many lovely qualities and are so giving and accepting of others … May your days always be filled with sunshine and happiness .. Trixi x

  2. Drummer

    Hello Catalpa, I enjoyed your new blog from which I see you have been in a lot of pain and distress. May this be the year when you turn a corner.
    The world and events that affect our daily lives can be so cruel and it is easy to think that you are alone – I can feel this and have been down many dark lanes in my 87 years, but there is a turning at the end of the lane and hopefully we Chatters might lesson some of the sadness from your life.

    I have found during my short time the Chatters that people do care and I can assure you there will be many of us wishing you a very happy birthday – may your 53rd be the year that you are able to look to a much future.

    I shall look forward to your next blog with some anticipation, and hope that the Bloggers community will show that they share your feelings whether happy or sad.
    With lots of Aroha, Drummer

  3. macathy

    Hope you had a fun birthday cat,sometimes we just have to start again let things take its place in how our life unfolds.I tend to trust in the Lord and know it will come out right in the end.Its the path we take that hurts often ,but just hope it makes us a better person in the end .Regards Kathy xxxx

  4. msscooter

    Hello….I dont know you but I really enjoyed reading your blog….I celebrated my 60th birthday this past Friday with my husband and daughter and took a short overnight trip…I dont have very much family but have made some special friends here in chatters over the past 6 years….Hope you have a great year….