Ralph, the great hunter.

I’m a cat person. I saw a cat food ad that reminded me of a pet of mine- Ralph, the cat. Ralph had “issues”. I doubt that Ralph would have ever graduated out the first grade in kitten school. When he was a kitten, he’d always climb in my bed and play with my hair, when I was trying to go to sleep. So, I closed my bedroom door. Then I could hear his paws running down the hallway, and womp, he crashed into the door. So, he knows it’s closed. But, again and again, running paws and womp. I had to open the door or have a brain dead cat. Most cats bring back mice, but not Ralph. He used to drag back large dead tree branches. He spent all day tracking it down and stocking it. Then stealthfully pouncing on his victim. Ralph had a reputation for not being a terribly swift cat. My friends gave me a sign that said, “CAUTION-ATTACK CAT”. I hung the sign on my door for a laugh. Then these two kids came collecting for the newspaper. As I was getting their money, I heard them discussing Ralph, who was licking himself. Yup, he was the “attack cat”. I wanted to tell the kids they had nothing to fear; they weren’t dead branches.