50 Shades of Geordie (revised 50 shades of grey!!!!)

if you don’t know what the ‘geordi’ accent sounds like this probably won’t make much sense to you!!!!

I knew as soon as I walked through the door from dropping the bairn off at school that I was gonna get some. I peeped through the fist hole in the living room door and saw the half a rolley burning in the ashtray perched on the arm of me new Bright House corner settee. The telly was turned reet down, ah cudn’t even hear what Lorraine was saying about the new fashion for the summer or nowt. Then I saw him and me heart skipped a beat, he’d obviously had a crisis loan and been down the metty cos he was wearing fresh new tracky bottoms and a brand new pair of flossies, his rippling white chest peeped out from behind the zip of his superdry coat, that was sexily only zipped halfway up just enough to cover the tack burns but give me a cheeky glimpse of what was to come.

He pulled me towards him and whispered β€œY’all reet pet” before planting the lips on me, I trembled under the aroma of Golden Virginia and stale Stella. He took me there and then, right on the Argos rug whilst our staffy Tyson looked on.

He left without a word, but he would be return soon, with tales of a fight in the job centre queue and his joy at finding a pound coin on the floor of the 54.

I tried to settle myself down with a tab and a can but all the while that one question burned in my heart…………

Will he remember me pasty from Greggs????

πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

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