IDIOT SIGHTING No.1
My daughter and I went to the McDonald’s checkout to pay our bill and I gave the clerk a £5 note.
Our total bill was £4.20, so I also handed her a 20 pence piece.
She said, ‘You gave me too much money.’
I said, ‘Yes I know, but this way you can just give me £1 back.’
She sighed and went to get the Manager who asked me to… Read more

An old tired-looking dog wandered into the yard. I could tell from his collar and well fed belly that he had a home. He followed me into the house, into the kitchen, and on a couch.

An hour later he went to the door, and I let him out. The next day he was back, resumed his position o n the couch, and slept for an hour. This continued for… Read more

Chuffin’ Christmas

I’m up a chuffin’ ladder, fixing chuffin’ fairy lights.

Me ‘ands are chuffin freezin’, and I’m scared of chuffin’ heights.

It’s the same each chuffin’ Christmas. It’s such a chuffin’ chore.

When the chuffin’ season’s done, then they’re chuffin’ down once more.

Then it’s fetch the chuffin’ turkey, and stuff… Read more

For The Fallen
With proud thanksgiving, a mother for her children,
England mourns for her dead across the sea.
Flesh of her flesh they were, spirit of her spirit,
Fallen in the cause of the free.

Solemn the drums thrill; Death august and royal
Sings sorrow up into immortal spheres,
There is music in the midst of desolation
And a glory that… Read more