A Reflexion on a ” Special Mother” posted by Blush

This blog it’s on reflexion a response to a ” special mother ” blog posted by blush .
I have a friend who has a disabled son , she cared for him for 30 years at home …she dedicated her whole life to him , the sentiment of guilt and and the bitterness of why me ? Why him? ,never left her side .
All along these years she’s been on antidepressants . Frustrated about the lack of support from her husband she divorced him when her son was 13 years old and became a single parent of two ( she also has an older son )and the sole carer for her disabled son.

About four years ago unable to keep caring for him at home any longer due to ill health ,she had to make the heart wrenching decision to place him in a home . Jack is now 34 and he lives in a home with 3 other residents.
The transition was not easy for neither of them ! Her guilt feelings multiplied alarmingly …not only she felt culpable of her boy’s disability (God punished her with a disabled child therefore his disability must be her fault) and now she put him in a home …she felt like a horror mother.
Jack has also gone through a traumatic time of his own , Unable to communicate trough speech( he can only speak a few words ,) he showed his disapproval in other ways .

Being a parent of a disabled child it’s in no doubt a long and difficult road ! Something that most of us can only imagine but would never completely understand.
As a society I think we have a lot to answer . ,I feel we are all responsible in a way , to some of their emotional suffering and isolation.
If children with special needs were accepted as what they are…just “CHILDREN” there would probably be much less pressure on their parents and carers , and life would be easier for everyone..

After all we all carry some kind of “disability” it may not be visible to the naked eye but we all know that nobody it’s perfect .
There’s so much pressure in being/having the best of everything , best house , job , body , education , car ,etc,etc . That we forget what the real essence of being human is.
Humility, compassion , patience , acceptance , selflessness , unconditional love , these are just a few of the qualities we learn from those who are suffering .

The world over people have the same hopes and aspirations ,we all want the same things : the best for our children , food , shelter , love , a sense of belonging .and we all take the same things when we die . The experiences we’ve lived and our conscience .

In my opinion special children are just that “special” they don’t come into the world as punishment to anybody for the contrary I see them as angels …they may look physically imperfect , but their soul it’s perfect , they are the epitome of what every human being should strive for ….they are selfless ,forgiving , pure , accepting , they don’t demand anything ,but they give everything selflessly ,they love unconditionally . They are patient they wait to be given what the rest of us can get for ourselves …and their needs are the same as ours. Food, shelter , love , acceptance , a sense of belonging .

Blessed are all Special children and their carers …..