WHAT DO YOU CALL A HANDCUFFED MAN?
SEE, I’M AN EQUAL OPPORTUNITY OFFENDER!!!
Q- How are husbands like lawn mowers?
A- They’re hard to get started, they emit noxious odours, and half the time they don’t work.
Q- How can you tell when a man is well hung?
A- When you can barely slip your finger in between his neck and the noose.
Q- How do men define a ”50/50” relationship?
A- We cook they eat; we clean they dirty; we iron they wrinkle.
Q- How do men exercise on the beach?
A- By sucking in their stomach’s every time they see a bikini.
Q- How do you get a man to stop biting his nails?
A- make him wear shoes.
Q- How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A- rename the folder ”Instruction Manuals.
Q- how does a man shoe he’s planning his future?
A- He buys two cases of beer instead of one.
Q- How is Colonel Sanders like a typical male?
A- All he’s concerned about is legs, breasts, and thighs.
Q- What do men consider a guormet restuarant?
A- Any place without a drive in window.
Q- What do you call a handcuffed man?
A- Trustworthy.
Q- What do you call the useless piece of skin on the end of a man’s penis?
A- His body.
Q- What makes a man think about a candlelight dinner?
A- A power failure.
Q- What should you give a man who has everything?
A- A woman to show him how to work it.
Q- What do men and mascara have in common?
A- They both run at the first sign of emotion.
Q- What do men and pantyhose have in common?
A- They either cling, run, or don’t fit right in the crotch.
Q- What do you instantly know about a well dressed man?
A- His wife is good at picking out clothes.
Q- What’s a mans definition of a romantic evening?
A- Sex.
Q- What’s a mans idea of honesty in a relationship/
A- Telling you his real name.
Q- What’s the best way to firce a man to do sit ups?
A- Put the remote control between his toes.
Q- What’s the difference between Big Foot and an intelligent man?
A- Big Foot has been spotted several times.
Q- What’s the smartest thing a man can say?
A- ”My wife says…”
Q- Why can’t men get mad cow disease?
A- because they’re all pigs.
Q- Why do men like smart women?
A- Opposites attract.
Q- Why do men name their penises?
A- Because they don’t like the idea of having a stranger make 90% of their decisions.
Q- Why do men need instant replay on TV sports?
A- Because after 30 seconds they forgot what happened.
Q- Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the toilet?
A- Because it helps them remember which end they need to wipe.
Q- Why do only 10% of men make it to Heaven?
A- Because if they all went, it would be Hell.
Q- what do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
A- A widow.
Q- When do you care for a man’s company?
A- When he owns it.
Q- What do men and sperm have in common?
A- They both have one in a million chance of becoming human beings.
Q-
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I am offering to be your bodyguard if any men come after you once they have read this. I don’t think there will be many to do so…. some won’t understand it, some won’t read it after they see “handcuff men”, some won’t know there are blogs, and a few won’t know how to find you without directions. But I got your back girl! Attila Linda
hahaha Thank you Attila / Linda lol…Ann
hahahahahaha love these ann xoxox
Thank you foreveryoung lol xoxoxox
ohhh with apologies to the men hahahahhhaa xxxx
OHHH Thank you Skippy xxx.
was great to find your blogs ann xxx
Thank you Skippy …yes they kinda get lost at the moment.
……..if you are recruiting for bodyguards, I’ll join Linda…. please keep the bogs coming – you made my day!!! xxxx
I will try Lina what a kind thing to say thank you…Ann…xxxxxx…
Lol
ha ha grandmaj
Couldn’t help laughing a lot at these… one of those things where you think, oh, I shouldn’t be laughing… but keep laughing!
Well stop laughing wonder 46 haha.
Yes well mmmm not sure oh well maybe! There you go my Friend!!
You got nothing more to say Tom??? Puzzled lol my friend!!!