WHY WOMEN ARE CRABBY
We start to ‘bud’ in our blouses at 9 or 10 years old only to find that anything that came into contact with those tender, blooming buds hurt so bad it brought us to tears.So came the ridiculous uncomfortable training bra contraption that boys in school would snap until we had calluses on our backs.
Next, we get our periods in our early mid teens (or sooner).Along with those budding boobs, we bloated, we cramped, we got hormone crankies, had to wear little mattresses between our legs or insert tubular, packed cotton rods in places we didn’t know we even had.
Our next little rite of passage was having sex for the first time which was about as much fun as having a ramrod push your uterus through your nostrils ( If he did it right and didn’t end up with his little cart before the horse), leaving us to wonder what all the fuss was about….
Then it was off to Motherhood where we learned to live off dry crackers and water for a few months so we didn’t spend the entire day leaning over Brother John. Of course amazing creatures that we are ( and we are), we learned to live with the growing little angels inside us steadily kicking our innards night and day making us wonder if we were preparing to have Rosemary’s baby.
Once our flat bellies looked like we swallowed a whole watermelon and we pee’d our pants every time we sneezed.When the big moment arrived, the dam in the nether regions invariably burst right in the middle of the mall and we had to waddle, with our big cartoon feet, moaning in pain all the way to ER.
Then it was huff and puff and beg to die while the OB says, “Please stop screaming Mrs Hearmeroar.Calm down and push ‘just one more good push’ ( More like 10 ), warranting a strong well deserved impulse to punch the %$#*@*#!* hubby and doctor in the nose for making us cram a wiggling, mushroom- headed 10 pound ball through a keyhole.
After that, it was time to raise those angels only to find that when all that ‘cute’ wears off, the beautiful little darlings morphed into walking, jabbering, wet, gooey, snot-blowing, life-sucking little poop machines.
Then come their ‘Teen Years’ need I say more?
When the kids are almost grown, we women hit our voracious sexual prime in the early 40’s while hubby had his somewhere around his 18th birthday.
So we progress into the grand finale: ‘The Menopause,’ the Grandmother of all womanhood it’s either take HRT and chance cancer in those now seasoned ‘buds’ or aforementioned Nether Regions, or,sweat like a hog in July, wash your sheets and pillowcases daily and bite the head off anything that moves.
Now, you ask WHY women seem to be more spiteful than men, when men get off so easy,INCLUDING the icing on life’s cake: Being able to pee in the woods without soaking their socks….
So, while I love being a woman,’Womanhood’ would make the Great Gandhi a tad crabby.You think women are the ‘weaker sex?’ Yeah Right bite me!
Good friends are are the rare jewels of life…
Difficult to find and impossible to replace!
Have a great day today, friend, and a better tomorrow!
Recommend0 recommendationsPublished in Senior Chatters
omg…how true is this?? ty tania x
Thank you friendlya…………………….Ann
True tania makes you wonder if it really is worth it all ,give it to the men and we will have a rest.lol
It really does make you wonder macathy……………Thank you Ann
There was once a very funny episode of the Bill Cosby Show where all the men in the family were pregnant instead of the women. It was hysterical and proves what you’ve just said.
Thank you sunflower I bet that was good……………..Ann
Yes we go through all that and then no thanks in the end hmmmmmm
think i will come back as a man. lol
Makes you think hey marjie1.Thank you…………Ann
so true ann….enjoyed reading this
Thank you susan……………Ann
you women crabby? no cant be right tania!! always in the sweetest mood you ladies hee hee!!
What you crawling for JCB haha…………….Thank you Ann
Now what about this male menopause? Does it really exist? Apart from splashing out on sport cars, combing over what little hair they have, keep saying “cool”, downloading obscure rap “artists” and, the worse of all, thinking that their daughters friends secretly fancy them, is it a “time of life”?. Two sayings spring to mind “Men are just little boys in long trousers” and “Takes all night with what he used to do all night!!!”
Ha ha thank you for that Illgner…………………Ann
And dont forget buying the Harley Davidson…
hahaha….
and the gold chain!
Hahahahaha!
Well Tania that brought tears to my eyes with laughter and also the thought of all that pain. Truer words couldn’t have been spoken…Yes a man next time round is looking good Marjie lol.
ha ha Thank you solo………………..Ann
Ann this is brilliant – tells it exactly like it is. Boy am I glad that I’ve gone through it all, but old age aint too good !!!!!! I’ve still got my good sense of humour though!!!!:)
Well that is all we need foreveryoug Thankyou…………………..Ann
Tania
Enjoyed reading this post, as it for women to disuss rather than men
Thank you busy……………Ann
True story for most if not all of us females…. and with humor! I would still rather be a woman…it’s all I know! Hahaha. Thanks, this is a great blog, I truly enjoyed reading it!
Thank you kay Bee lol I forgot this blog…..Ann
Just read this blog and really enjoyed it. Thank you so much.
Thank you merver so Pleased that you enjoyed it…Ann
Ann, this is awesome… enjoyed reading it. Thank you for sharing.
You are welcome PamfromTX..
Ann read this before but enjoyed reading it again. Thanks for posting it.
ha ha marie read the date I posted it lol I had forgottne about this….Ann
Haahahahha ann, how true is that, remember at the wanting to punch hubby and the doctor stage thinking My God, how do women live through this one lol and then went back and did it all again hehehhe. Great blog ann, enjoyed it xxx
Yes I remember saying never again but I did do it again lol..Thank yiu Skippy xxxxx