Erosion
The sky does not look to inviting.
The heavens are dark and closed in.
It’s mid afternoon, and still raining.
As my dog and I, are shut in.
The house right now it sits empty.
As family, for now are away.
To make use of this time is so tempting.
But from promises made, I can’t stray.
The hour glass slowly keeps draining.
Even time, cannot stop the decay.
Bazz
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I enjoyed that, in a sorrowful kind of way. Time could only stop the decay if it itself stopped. Hang tight to those promises.
It’s moving that you view the house empty, when of course it’s not.
Enjoyed it, thank you.
I like it a lot Bazz.. but I would have added two more lines..
As I set here in my castle
Knowing tomorrow is a new day..
but that me.. don’t mean to get in your business.. Lou
That would have changed it all together, don’t you think Lou?
two more lines to keep to pattern. 🙂
The house is empty when only I’m in it, to me anyway.
Yes pattern, clever you noticed that. Left it unfinished basically so anyone can finish it in their own way, just like Lou did. Everyone sees things a bit differently.
Maybe I was reading too much into it. Of course, the wonderful thing about poetry is we can do just that. I think a good poem leaves room for at least 3 or 4 different interpretations.
Home is where the heart is. Even when my family was gone and I was all alone in the house, I would never describe the house as empty. There were traces of my loved ones everywhere. The house was filled with them. My interpretation of the poem is that his heart was elsewhere.
that’s the way I read also.. but tomorrow is a new day and things will chances.. and love is on the way.. but it’s bazz poems..he left it open for others to add.. if not we will beat him up in the alley.. just don’t tell anyone.. wear a mask,, sorry Bazz nothing personal.. Lou
chances=changes.. sorry brother,, love you.. but.. Lou
Shakespeare wrote sonnets, 4, 4 and two. I like the bazz’s form.
I can’t really relate because of the second stanza, but I can throw in my two lines.
But in the quiet I continue sustaining
The memory of her sweet bouquet
The hour glass slowly keeps draining
Even time cannot stop the decay.
As my heart just keeps on paining
For the times you have been away.
My little ending bazz !
Well my take on your poem Bazz is………..that it would be so easy for you to stray out side of your marriage………but you made promises when you took your vow’s, so you honour them………no need to comment if i am correct on my analysis….but then i could be so wide off the mark ….as stated earlier we all read different things into it……..a bit like the Bible really. x
Poetry is the language of the soul …it sings out it’s emotions in rhyming symbolic words …an empty house may mean the void within …( my opinion only) .
Powerful poem Buzz I feel your desolation .
Oops ! Meant to say Bazz …. 🙁
Thanks everyone. I won’t spoil it by telling you exactly what I was thinking. I like how you all have put your own twist on it though. It’s great.
Bazz
I Enjoyed it Baz and I love all the comments and different takes.