Teenagers – To Work or Not to Work? That is the question
Sometimes I think I would love to be my son – he is 19 and living at home with his girlfriend. The down-side is he has to put up with his parents and his grandmother who also live at home.
However, he has a ready-made bank – one that doesn’t charge interest. He has food in the pantry and refrigerator – a taxi-service that is free and a live-in girlfriend to attend to all other needs!
What more could a teenager want? All the fun without the responsibility.
In his short 3 yrs out of school he has managed to rack up over $2500.00 in fines, lost his licence, trashed the car he was given, been sacked from around 6 jobs. He just started another job last week working Thurs, Fri and half a day Saturday. Went out on the booze Saturday night, slept all day Sunday, went fishing on Monday and got sunburnt – so called his boss today to take the day off because his sunburn kept him up all night and he is too tired and still too sore to work.
Does anyone else, apart from me, see a problem with this picture?
Oh well, off to work now – it seems I still have children to support!!!
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Yes. I am amazed that you don’t and haven’t solved it years ago. Your son did not give birth, create you. You have been on the wrong track for a long time. WHY?
Your having a laugh Jeanette………………i sure hope so my friend, cos i sure wouldn’t like to be reaping what your sowing……….tough years ahead of you if you are serious Jeanette….
It is time to send him packing….tough love…..hard to do because he is, afterall, your son. but that doesn’t give him a free ride in life. I don’t know you and I don’t know your son and I am trying to be ‘nice’ about this. But you will have a long road ahead of you if you don’t crack down NOW!
get postive Jeanette, give him an ultimatum follow through on it, work,, if he can act like a man with his girlfriend, who,by the way lives their too, does she work? may I ask, get a flat of his ,own and tell him if he wants to be like a man it,s time he grew up and acted like one , while he,s allowed to mooch of his Mom he will continue to do it, you set it up for him, cheaper than keeping another two, plus mean what you say, explain you cannott afford to keep him there and his girlfriend any longer. it,s really up to you. he has been allowed to do this for sometime , set the pattern for a new responsible life for him now before it,s too late, straight talking Jeanette,unless you like having him there.
Look ladies, i am sure Jeanette is having a laugh………what mother would put such a lighthearted blog on about a waster of a son…………really Jeanette, if you are serious you are doing your son no favours whatsoever………now i will comment no more because i feel so angry with your blog………….you are doing nothing that a responsible parent should be doing……….and that is preparing your son for the big wide world …………you wont always be there to cushion the blows……….poor boy
I have to agree with Star on this one. What parent would allow this? However if this is so, I have a suggestion. Find him an apartment, pay the first month’s rent, put his and the girl’s belongings on the lawn…..yesterday.
Jeanette,my thoughts are with you,…send him of to boot camp!!!,with out judging you,he is in a pattern,has he no goals in life?…my son still lives at home,and he is 27,lol,..I have been soft on my son also,because I had it so tough!!!,and didn’t want that for my son,..it’s finding that balance,have you thought about both of you going to counciling?,are you a single parent?..wish I could help,if you need to talk I am here,just a message away,((((((hugs)))))).
Sorry,yes I see your son has a father.
Iff he has lived like this for the past nineteen yrs,and been aloud to,then he thinks it’s the norm,I think it will be difficult for him to change.
Thanks everyone for your comments – most of which I have already don:
1. He moved out to live with a friends father our son saw as a better option. We objected but he said he was going anyway.
2. He moved back home when he was kicked out by his friend’s father.
3. I then kicked him out of home and he went right back to live with the friend’s father who kicked him out again and this time kicked his daughter out as well. The man’s daughter happens to be my sons girlfriend. They were living on the streets and had nowhere to go. My husband and I took him back with his girlfriend under the proviso that they get work.
4. My husband and I have different beliefs when it comes to raising children – there in lies our first problem. I nearly had a marriage break-up when I kicked him out last time.
5. My husband has come home from work today and told my son he goes to work tomorrow – no matter what!
Stay tuned – things may yet turn around. Thanks for allowing me to sound off and thanks truly for your comments.
Jeanette i’m sorry if my reply sounded a bit harsh, but you and your hubby need to be singing from the same hymn book to get this sorted……….good luck…….hope all comes well in the end. xxx
Jeanette I can’t say I understand what you are experiencing with hubby not being on the same page. It is usually natural for the father to push them out of the nest. Tough love is just that, tough. I supported all of mine fully until they reached 18. I also taught them the time would come when we turned loose and let them solo without any help. I have one left at home at age 21.
He pays ALL his expenses, in college full time and holds a job. He is trying to better himself, therefore I will help out. I always told mine as long as they are helping themselves I would do what I could to see them through. The very best help you and and the husband can give this young man is force him to be self sustaining. I know its a tough stand to make but one day he will thank you.
Thanks everyone – hubby has taken him to work today and he has been there for an hour now – so far he hasn’t been sent home. Fingers, toes, legs and arms all crossed – here’s hoping.
Hi Jean cant he walk, ride or bus to work? Lela
Hi Jean cant he walk, ride or bus to work? Lela
Hi Lela – unfortunately where we live has extremely limited public service transport – so in short, no he can’t walk ride or bus to work. When he pays his fines off he can then apply for his licence again – bring on that day BIG TIME.
Hang on in there,Jeanette,..I pray it all comes good in the end!,he is so lucky to have you as parents,((((hugs))))))
Thanks Flowersun – I do appreciate the moral support and the listening ‘ears’.
Jeanette,
Your story is oh so familiar. I have a stepson that sounds so much like your son; but is so much more irresponsible than yours. I don’t usually open up about my life but wanted to tell you that in order for your son to mature… he has to be on his own. It is a very difficult choice for you and your hubby… but will be worth it in the long run. Good luck to you and yours.