The BBQ

pollypie
PollyPie May 14, 2013
27 Comments

Standard Operating Procedures released today please learn

We are about to enter the BBQ season.
Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking activity . When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are put into motion:

Routine…
(1) The woman buys the food.

(2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert.

(3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill – beer in hand.

(4) The woman remains outside the compulsory three meter exclusion zone where the exuberance of testosterone and other manly bonding activities can take place without the interference of the woman.

Here comes the important part:

(5) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.

More routine…

(6) The woman goes inside to organise the plates and cutlery.

(7) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is looking great. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he flips the meat

Important again:

(8) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.

More routine…

(9) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces, and brings them to the table.

(10) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.

And most important of all:

(11) Everyone PRAISES the MAN andTHANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.

(12) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed ‘ her night off ‘, and, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there’s just no pleasing some women.

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pollypie
PollyPie

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Responses

  4. waylander May 14, 2013

    I passionately HATE BBQ’s in the UK. No-one except my ex brother in law (who I despise and always have done) seems to be able to get things cooked.properly.

    the usual fair from a UK BBQ consists of either:-
    a) Under-cooked to the point that salmonela sits there daring you to eat it
    or
    b) The outside burned to a crisp that requires a hammer to crack it, thus revealing the pink (sometimes blood leaking) inner core.

    Now do you fancy any of that?

  8. pollie May 14, 2013

    hmmmm i must be the odd one out (but you all knew that anyways!!) apart from the actual food which i buy…my hubby does it all includin the washin up and clearin away!!!! oh …and yes it is cooked to perfection so no one gets poisoned!!! and we never get any rain up here in scabby!!!!! 😀 😀 😀

  10. Unknown Member May 14, 2013

    Barby time ,love it, here in Aus every summer is BARBY TIME, friends gather round on a Saturday night , convivial chatter , laughter,children running around, yes the women prepare the salads and sweets, but the guys bond over the cooking all lending a hand, dogs getting the bones afterwards and everyone has a great time , in our house whoever cooks does the dishes , but at BARBY time we all pitch in and help. and a good time is had by all oops forgot the musics playing in the background and irish family members sing songs from their homeland and we all shed a little tear as well as a good laugh.so enjoy Barbie time its some of my fondest family memories.xxx

  12. nmod May 15, 2013

    Well , girls and boys ! Times have changed …my recently married son and his wife invited us mothers hers and his to have lunch with them at their home … ( all sparkling new , they didn’t live together before marriage) .
    Lunch was chicken and chorizo paella and lasagne cooked by my son , rocket ,walnut and avocado salad and baby tomatoes and bocconcini salad mixed by his bride … And a delicious tiramisu made by her .
    After lunch my son cleared the table , loaded the dishwasher and finished cleaning the kitchen while she sat at the table drinking coffee , and looking pretty .
    It’s not wonder her parents adore my son ! Lol ( by the way , he knew what he was getting into before they got married )

  14. nmod May 15, 2013

    Thank you ladies … They try to go 50 /50 … It was slightly lopsided on the day ! But I’m sure it evens out on other days … It’s great that these days women are not slaves .
    I’ve raised my sons to suit me lol . I’ve seen my mother unhappy ,overworked and unappreciated
    and decided I wasn’t going to be like her . I’m glad I did that , because our home is / always was a very pleasant place to be .

  15. lina May 15, 2013

    Some Aussies love their Barbies – I never did!!! It may have been because I was married (at the time) to a pommie who didn’t understand the first thing about the BBQ culture, but boy did he pick up on the rights and wrongs…. what you wrote was JUST how it happened…I shudder to remember…lol ….. Wouldn’t get me doing that again – ever!!! BBQ maybe, but the “whole hog”…no !- tend to agree with Way… prefer my food in some semblance of order and cooked properly..lol thanks for posting Pollie – I think!! lol xxxxxxxx

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