SHORT STORIES

POOR LANCE ARMSTRONG –

I think it is just terrible and disgusting how everyone has treated Lance Armstrong, especially after what he achieved, winning 7 Tour de France races, while on drugs, I couldn’t even find my flipping bike.

DRIVE BY

A guy broke into my apartment last week. He didn’t take my TV, just the remote. Now he drives by and changes the channels.
SICK BA*****.

SCAM

I just got scammed out of $25. I bought Tiger Woods DVD entitled ” My Favourite 18 Holes”. Turns out it’s about golf.
Absolute waste of money! Pass this on so others don’t get scammed. Best Regards
Charlie Sheen.

SO TRUE

Before sex, you help each other get naked.
After sex, you only dress yourself.

The Moral of The Story:
In life, no one helps you once you’ve been screwed.

SEX RESEARCH ( could be handy)

If sex with 3 people is called a threesome and sex with 2 people is a twosome, now I understand why they call you handsome!

EASYJET

Paddy calls EASYJET to book a flight. The operator asks, ” how many people are flying with you?”

Paddy replies, ”I don’t know! it’s your bloody plane,”

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