About 20 years ago my doctor told me I should cut back on my drinking and stop smoking. Three hours later who do I meet in the pub with a double scotch in one hand and a cigar in the other?

At last, a use for those discarded masks. I’m a rugby league fan and I wince at the teams members discarding their masks into a bin as they go onto the field for the 1st half and again (different mask) for the 2nd half. Two masks per player – total wearing time about ten minutes all up.

A longer sheet might be advisable. No-one wants to see glowing privates.