In the UK, an Uplifting Scandal
Read the other day that a manufacturer and three major retailers were under investigation for conspiring to fix the price of a highly popular sports bra called the, “Shock Absorber.” I wistfullly thought about my thwarted second career ambitions to be a custom bra fit specialist; rejected at every turn. Then i thought what better time to introduce my new concept, the “Living Hands,” bra. The amazing, “one size fits all” support garment that not only conforms to m’lady’s girth and endowment, but automatically senses a sudden up or down acceleration, as when jogging, and compensates by gently and effectively applying a compensating anti-jiggle pressure that stabalizes even the most formidable loading. The Living Hands new concept bra also helps not only eliminate aging elongation but actually reverses it where onset has begun. Finally, my new concept bra may be ordered with my patented “mammary massager” feature that provides comforting and pleasurable fun anytime with a discreet flip of a switch (batteries not included). This remarkable feature has three settings, including, “fondle,” “caress,” and “yesssss.” But wait! Order your Living Hands bra now and we will include a mammary massager, for free! (Not available in stores.) Satisfaction guaranteed.
Recommend0 recommendationsPublished in Senior Chatters
Lol sounds perfect Oldbull! Can I order 3! lol xx
Allelulia!!! Praise God!!! A man who finally gets it about exactly what a bra should be! Afterall, it was a man who designed the damn thing in the first place! You might wat to rethink your description of “m’lady’s girth and endowment.” Girth? I dare say, I doubt that many of your readers will care for that choice of word. LOL… Elongation…gravity you me? Mercy, thank you so much for pointing out I may now be fuller vertically vs horizontally! That enlightenment made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. This is quite a unique retirement career, I must admit! You had me at the massager! How do I place an order? Giggles…HelenSophie
There is no mirth in girth?
A thousand pardons English Professor OldBull, of course it was meant with gaiety or jollity or jockularity (sp? get the cross and nails!!! LMAO)…it sounded oh hell…you know what I mean…LOL
Oh no we are not so brutal as the ancient Romans. We now offer defenestration or an auto de fe’.
Roseanne, thanks for your support. OB
As always…such a way with words OldBull! Haha, an uplifting scandal indeed.
Will you be going into to the full women’s under garment business? First living bra, then living butt lift, followed by underarm flapping support……and who knows what else. I am assuming that your product comes in a handy one man does it all unit? I need it in a extra large size. I need all the support I can get! lol You do aspire to help women. I think?
D’ys mean “full women,” or full line of undergarments for women i general? Have to start slow, y’know slow hand and all that.
OldBull love this and can’t wait to see them in the store’s here in Md. as I will go out and buy one. LOL.:)
Oh annemarie, not available in stores; were you so excited you missed that?
Who needs men ?? just get your hands on one of Oldbulls bras…………is it available in a black half cup………just for my man Malt………..he has a preference for this style…..lol x
In order to provide the massager feature the bra is only available in full cup. Sorry.
shushhhhhhhh star lol lol xx
Not good enough Oldbull…..have to keep my man happy lol xx
The LH bra is for your enjoyment, Star. Even if a guy has generous “man breasts” he is not likely to get the full benefit of the garment. OB
Ok oldbull, point taken………..sorry boyo…lol x
Can you please make matching panties. You are an old doggie devil.
Yes, only by appointment. Doggie devil?
Never satisfied are you Blinker…lol x
Wonderful read and my over active imagination is indeed over-acting..lol… JUST what I needed -something to round off the figure and stimulate the senses…. so uplifting to know someone has the welfare of womanhood in his heart (or it is his hands????) lol….I’ll have two – black – please….can’t wait to close my door on the world and try out the massage “therapy”….lol… xxx
It is rewarding to know so many ladies are helped by my humble efforts; thanks for your comment…
What a wonderful, unique idea – something that every woman could enjoy ! Have you thought of presenting this on Dragon’s Den, OB – Lord Sugar might want a piece of the action LOL