These Are Good Boys

Choices… should I sit here and write this and satisfy myself or should I get up and finish folding all these clothes in the basket, because others follow from the dryer shortly. I am always busy and there are things always to do in this house. I feel that these are in some way stolen moments. But this has been true my whole life…. moments for myself seem stolen from others. I think that is the mother’s way. Burden and joy.

So today my choice is to stop and think about my sons who live so far away. They are definitely my joy. They call frequently and I know they love me. One of them is getting married… I love his fiance and have known here for about ten years now. I am very happy as they were friends for a long time before deciding they were more than friends. The other has a girlfriend and he is going to propose soon, he says. I do not know her as well, but he talks to me about her all the time and I have met her a few times and like her too.

These are good boys…. well of course they are good men now. Affectionate, funny, hard working. I feel so lucky to have them in my life.

I have a third boy that we adopted when he was about 11 years old. He is a sweet person, but he has chosen at this time not to communicate with anyone. I keep writing to him even tho he does not write back. I threatened once to send a private detective to find him… and he wrote once to say he was ok and he loved us, just had to work things out. It has been a year now… and I am so sad that this is his choice. I will probably threaten the private detective again and make him at least let me know he is alive. He had a hard beginning … I miss him. He is also a good man, kind and caring, so smart, but so hard on himself.