How do you get your own way?

That sounds evil and conniving, doesn’t it, and somewhat Machiavellian.  Yet, aren’t there times when getting your own way is necessary, and has many positive benefits?

My 9-year-old grandson spent the night.  With everyone else in the universe, on Friday nights, he’s lights out and in bed at 9 o’clock – voluntarily. When he’s here, it's a whirlwind of dinner, a movie ( Tonight we watched "Home Alone" – with him covering my ears whenever bad language peppered the dialogue, :), board games like checkers, and fun, messy science projects. After all this is done, then bedtime negotiations begin.  I’m a sucker for those big brown eyes, I admit it. But, I fooled him tonight. I set his cot in my husband’s room,  and named it “the boy’s club”.

After prayers and a kiss, I hurried out, knowing that “the boys” would quietly fall asleep watching a sci-fi show. I was free, mission accomplished.

So, depending on the situation, do you use bribery, cajolery, trickery, flirting or, some other method to get your own way upon occasion?

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Published in Home & Family


  1. starlette

    Hi Mrs K……….reverse phycology works wonders…….I would say to my grandson when he was small……….well don’t bother clearing the toys away, I think it would take you longer than 3 minutes, I know you couldn’t do it in that time anyway…..he always proved me wrong……..and during some training by a Physiatrist (work related ) he said don’t raise your voice to children, whisper to them, they will have to listen more intently to actually hear what you are saying, it should sink in more…….maybe it does…..maybe not….worth a try…..

    1. Ms. K. Post author

      Keeping your voice soft while talking to children does work. I worked at a nursery school where teachers were reprimanded for raising their voices. Sounds like your reverse pysch was successful. Did it work as he got older? Or, did you have to be more devious …or, flat out give him directions, expecting him to listen?

      1. starlette

        I never once raised my voice to my grandson, and I have never ever known him lose his temper, or be nasty towards anyone, neither has his mother,he was brought up around people with learning difficulties, that was mine and his mothers work, he relates to anyone the same, rich or poor, he doesn’t put on any airs and graces for anyone………children are just as worthy of respect as are adults to him, as should be.

  2. CSweet51

    I have 6 grandchildren all the same family. They range in ages 1 yr to 14. I put the little ones to bed (1 yr, 3, 5, 7) I do read the little ones a story first around 8 then the older ones make sure they are asleep. At that point I let the 12 and 14 yr stay up and we play games and just talk. I love the time with all of them, it is wonderful to catch up with them and what they have been doing. Usually by 10 + they are tired out . Most of the time…..then there are others where they are running up the stairs while their mom and dad are pulling in the driveway. We don’t say a thing about the time…lol

    1. Ms. K. Post author

      Sweet, that’s what my grandma used to do too. I have the fondest memories of her. When my daughter picks up her son, she ask me suspiciously, “Mom, what did you feed him? Sugar? treat? Ice cream for breakfast?”
      He gets the good stuff, too, but we always have treats!