“Dependence and Independence”

As an addition or continuance of the subject of “trust”. How do you feel about dependence or independence of a person(s), place or thing?

“Dependence and Independence” was last modified: July 31st, 2017 by LoneRogue
Published in Questions & Trivia

23 thoughts on ““Dependence and Independence”

  1. starlette

    I value my independence greatly, and I really don’t want to be around when it is taken from me……….some people are dependent on others through no choice of their own, other people feign dependence for various reasons, clinging to their family one of the main reasons, attention seeking another…..or maybe through loneliness……….not sure what you mean about having a dependence on things, maybe mobility aids, benefits, medication…… people depend on those greatly………dependence on others for sorting out financial matters, wills etc…….. I would say always do it legally…..

  2. roseinbloom

    Dependence and dependence is the key to relationships. All humans are dependent on a lot of other people whether they think about it or not. I try to appreciate all people that I encounter who work to enable me to do what I do. I try not to hassle them in any way. I give tips where it is customary.
    Being needed is a basis for security, and needing others is the basis for their security. Allowing others to help us is a way of allowing them to be needed and valued. Also, it needs to be balanced.

  3. goldengirl1224

    I tend to be a very independent person – was brought up that way – think for yourself – but always had loving parents there to support me. And while I definitely am very independent – I also know that is because at this point in my life I am lucky to enjoy relatively good health – and also have people around me I trust and enjoy – if the day ever comes when they are not there – and I am unable to be self-sufficient (something I dread to think of) – then I, like so many others will have to rely on the support of others – then I become ‘dependent’ — Its life – and most of us have to deal with that reality. So enjoy today!

  4. davidrv

    I am very dependent.
    I need others to farm what I eat.
    I need others to make the clothes I wear.
    I need others to build the house I live in.
    I need others to construct the vehicle I drive.
    I need others to refine the fuel to power my vehicle.
    I need others to supply electricity.
    I need others to provide communications.
    I need…a lot of things it seems.
    Or do I?
    I have a job. Soon it will be a pension.
    I do pay for all these services.
    In a way those “others” depend on receiving compensation for services rendered or products delivered.
    So really, if a person pays for more personal services as they age, is that person more dependent than when they were actively working?
    I’d say if you are a burden to a family member that wasn’t planning on taking care of you for next to nothing, then you are dependent.
    If there is compensation, then both parties are getting what they need.

    1. annemarie

      LR, I was dependent on my Mother but once I was older she raised to be independent of her. I was very dependent on my husband until I got my first job as I was able to stay home with my children till they were in school. I worked part time and then in 78 I got a full time job . I was able to use my money to buy things for the house and the children and gifts. So than I wasn’t as dependent on my husband but never make as much money as he did when working. I am an independent person being raised by just my Mother who worked and I lived with her and my grandfather and his cousin Marggie who had no children. Being married at 17 made me grow up faster and being independent then helped me raise my 2 children to be that way . After my husband passed in 93 living on my own was not easy but I was able to as I had a good job and my good friends and so when it came time to sell my home in Fremont, Ca. I had a month to pack up my things and make arrangements with a moving co . and a car transport Co. to move back to Maryland where my daughter lived . I had never had to do that before as my the companies my husband worked for always would move us and never had to pack up anything. So at 53 I was able to get my house sold and move back to Maryland . Being independent does help one to be able to face what ever life brings you way and having wonderful friends who were they for me in Ca. when I lost my husband helped me also. I was able to have a job at Marshalls back in Towson, Md. to transfer and my daughter was here to help me unpack and get my things put away in my house here. So Mother thank you for instilling in me to be independent and my husband also was a very independent man who Mother raised him that way. Growing up in the 40’s and 50’s in a small town in Pa. where everyone knew everyone back then was a plus also.

      1. len1932

        You have had an outstanding life full of challenges but you overcame them. Good training by your mother and you were a real partner with your husband with full loving cooperation that counts so much for a successful marriage.

      2. LoneRogue Post author

        You have been a strong person and dealt well with the diversities of your life. One thing I feel about married people is that we can think of it as defendant on our spouse but somehow it seems that should be a given when we marry. When my wife was diagnosed with dementia I knew it would be long hard future and knew I would do what I could to provide that care. I had the benefit of having had a long marriage and support without question from my wife Marie throughout our marriage. I knew I could do no less than everything possible to care for her.

        We all face varied problems in life and there is no assurance of anything as to illnesses which will befall us. By doing everything we possible can to do the right thing does make the grieving more bearable I believe.

        1. annemarie

          LR, Thank you and know it must have been very hard taking care of your wife but you did . My husband died within 2 weeks of coming down with a Bacterial Infection and his Dr’s thought he would be ok but the bacterial got into his heart and caused it to stop and he was gone at 52 and we had been together almost 34 years. But life goes on and we all deal with our losses as best as we can . Just know you will see you wife again and I look forward to the day when I see Ed again.

  5. Drummer

    This question is without doubt one of the most profound posed in this forum of wisdom and I think that all the foregoing responses cover the subject in much more depth than I could possibly think about.

  6. foreveryoung2

    I have made a promise to myself that I will not be “dependent” on anyone if and when I can no longer remain independent. I saw my mother, and recently a friend, who were ill-treated in hospitals – left in wet “nappies” all day – pain medication not given, left with empty oxygen bottles for hours, etc. etc. etc. Hopefully by the time this happens, euthenasia will be made legal – otherwise I will do it myself. I do not want to be treated like an old person who is going to die any way so why bother caring. That is the attitude of some nursing staff that I have found in the hospitals supposedly caring for my late mother and my recently deceased friend. Complaints by family members only made it worse for the patient. I love my independence and hopefully can be so for some time yet.

    1. LoneRogue Post author

      So sad, that kind of treatment. I have not experienced it and hope I never will. My wife spent a lot of time in hospitals and memory care and hospice facilities and the care I witnessed was excellent and caring.

      As to euthanasia we in the state of Oregon have legalized this. My wife was not in pain so it was never considered for her. As to self euthanasia, timing is so critical.

  7. len1932

    My first wife had many problems with diabetis complications. She ended up on dialysis machine 3 days a week. We traveled all over the country setting up dialysis appointments ahead of time and was there as scheduled. Would travel a couple weeks at a time and she sure enjoyed the travel.

    When her neck, and arm bones began to break and then had 2 heart attacks she said the Lord is calling me home so had them stop treatments. Usually a person dies within 3 days but she lasted 12 days. and we had a lot of time to talk about memories. She was so happy right up to the end and was more concerned about me. Did not me to marry some Floozy, so made arrangements for her brothers widow to come live and help me on the farm. Four years later we married and am sure my 1st wife is happy.

    1. LoneRogue Post author

      Happy you found a good partner Len. At our age floozies are available but I think they more often bring despair than happiness. Kidney failure was a large part of my wife’s problem too.

      1. len1932

        I live on a farm about a mile from the Sacramento Valley VA National Cemetery. I have noticed when looking at the several thousand tombstones that when a wife passed it was only a few years until the husband died. The wife lived maybe 10 years longer. I found it important to remarry and did after living 4 years with my sister in law. We need a womans care as the Bible tells us a woman is mans caretaker so she lives longer.

          1. len1932

            I am 85 years old and live on my farm. Without help of wife and her daughter and husband I would be in senior home if still alive.

    1. LoneRogue Post author

      Well Len it sounds like you are doing what is right for you and that’s great. I think everyone should work things out the way it suits them. I’ve thought a lot about it and as long as I’m able I’m going to mow my lawn and 2 acre field That is only 2 or 3 times till rain stops), clean my down spouts and care for my place to my standards. Some would not like dust bunnies but I can live with them until I get around to vacuuming (about every other week). I change my sheets to my standards, take a shower to my standards and am pretty healthy with the usual moderate blood pressure elevation. As to companionship? I no longer feel the urge. [g] I am a confirmed Hermit in good standing. lol

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