Author Archives: solo

 MURDER MYSTERY (a true story)

———- Forwarded message ———- From: Chris Kemp Date: Tue, Aug 2, 2011 at 4:55 AM Subject: Fwd: Fw: LIKE A GOOD MURDER MYSTERY? To: valerie element For those who have served on a jury…this one is something to think about. Just when you think you have heard everything!! Do you like to read a good […]

 LET YOUR FRIENDS KNOW JUST HOW IMPORTANT THEY ARE

A mouse looked through the crack in the wall to see the farmer and his wife open a package. What food might this contain?’ the mouse wondered – – – he was devastated to discover it was a mousetrap. Retreating to the farmyard, the mouse proclaimed the warning : There is a mousetrap in the […]

 BACHELORS COOKING

Two confirmed bachelors sat talking, their conversation drifted from politics to cooking. “I got a cookbook once,” said one, “but I could never do anything with it.” “Too much fancy work in it, eh?” asked the other. “You said it. Every one of the recipes began the same way – Take a clean dish.”

 A REAL MAN

A real man is a woman’s best friend. He will never stand her up and never let her down. He will reassure her when she feels insecure and comfort her after a bad day. He will inspire her to do things she never thought she could do; to live without fear and forget regret. He […]

 BIG TROUBLE

There were two young brothers, 8 and 10 years old, who were exceedingly mischievous. Whatever went wrong in the neighborhood, it turned out they had a hand in it. Their parents were at their wits’ end trying to control them. Hearing about a pastor nearby who worked with delinquent boys, the mother suggested to her […]

 WORLD CUP

The seven dwarfs went off to work in the mine one day, while Snow White stayed at home to do the housework and cook their lunch. However when she went to the mine to deliver their lunches, she found there had been a cave-in, and there was no sign of the dwarfs. Tearfully she yelled […]

 DROVERS

Two Aussie cattle drovers standing in an Outback bar. One asked, “What are you up to, Mate?” Ahh, I’m takin’ a mob of 6000 from Goondiwindi to Gympie.” “Oh yeah … and what route are you takin’?” “Ah, probably the Missus; after all, she stuck by me durin’ the drought.”

 A SENIOR’S WORTH

What are seniors citizens worth? They are worth a fortune, with all the silver in their hair, gold in their teeth, stones in their kidneys and lead in their feet. As for myself, I have become a little older since I saw you last and a few changes have come into my life since then. […]

 SEX AND THE OVER 90’S

(I HOPE THIS DOESN’T OFFEND ANYONE) Upon hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went straight to her grandparent’s house to visit her 95-year-old grandmother and comfort her. When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, “He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning”. […]

 NEW BABY

For weeks a little boy told his teacher about the baby that was coming to his house. One day, his mother let him feel the baby move in her tummy. He then stopped telling the teacher about the baby. The teacher finally asked, “What happened to the baby you were expecting at your house?” The […]