I can't seem to let pass acts and comments that appear very bogus, affected or artificial. I'm not talking about the little "white lies" that are used every day to kindly respond to a nice person.

I can't seem to resist openly exposing artifice. It causes disruption, I realize, however it is to me insulting to do and say things that require me to behave artificially just to let them pass without comment.

Are there ways you might have found to deal with this that can still allow me to feel honest? I would like any comments by anyone who has good methods of dealing with phoniness.

Artifice. was last modified: January 8th, 2018 by LoneRogue
Published in Questions & Trivia

18 thoughts on “Artifice.

  1. starlette

    Hi Lone, if they don’t affect you personally you have to let them go…….usually other people with brains would recognise the bogus people, comments etc also, if you are being drawn into the exaggerations and lies then just say you have no idea of the said conversation……..its hard to answer your question because there are different scenarios that you could be relating to………but at the end of the day just say to yourself………..” What’s it really matter “is it worth the feelings of frustration and anger build up….the answer is no….they expose them selves eventually…….

  2. starlette

    Hi Lone, well I am assuming its affecting you mentally because you have strong honesty ethics and feel the need to expose the dishonest people…….but to what avail…….are they damaging others in anyway…….if they are then they must be ousted…….if they are not conning or hurting others then you must learn to switch off, its an impossible task to try and right the failings of others…..if you feel yourself getting overwhelmed or angry make a deliberate effort to turn your thoughts elsewhere…listen to your music, read a book, anything to give you a distraction…..

  3. rose1943

    Lone, your Jazz blog and Jazz group show your happiness. You are sharing something you value and others are enjoying it immensely. All very positive energy. Thank you, keep it going and that will surely help with feelings of any anger and frustration. Some people can really “feel” music resound through their system. I know well what music does for me and can see what it does for you. You have an idea how blessed we are for having this gift. Can’t even imagine life without it.

    1. rose1943

      Lone, I like most music but not Rap. My dad played the violin and got us into classical and opera. Like music from the past. In Jazz, Dave Brubeck and Ahmad Jamal. Love most musicals from the past ….favorite is Phantom of the Opera. Saw it 3 times here in Chicago. I could go on and on I suppose. Took violin in high school, voice later. All my children play an instrument and sing. They also grew up with it as I did. Some music is just so beautiful I’ll well up in tears.

      1. LoneRogue Post author

        We have a lot in common. I love classical and opera also. Brubeck and Jamal are favorites too. I was born in York, Penna. and it was a very musical small city then. We had a symphony orchestra and hired a NY conductor who came there monthly to rehearse and conduct a concert. We lived 1 block from the concert hall and my sister and I were allowed to sit high in the balcony after everyone was seated IF there were seats left near performance time. It instilled in us a love of good music that has become deep reverence. Our son was given piano lessons and all my grand children have musical and dance training. They have always been allowed to move in directions of their choice and naturally in this modern day most have move to stringed instruments and not of the type that uses a bow. smile… they are happy and that gives me great pleasure.

        I’m happy for you and your musical family.

      2. rose1943

        Lone, I know this doesn’t follow the subject material, but don’t care. I wonder if you have the same quirky experience being able to remember every word to every song that played over the radio back in time. PerrynComo, Patti Page, Vera Lynn, long list. The space in our brains for all that must be HUGE !!! ? My dad named me after a character played by Jeannette McDonald named Rosemarie, she and Nelson Eddy sang ‘The Indian Love Call’ and that did it. One sister born on Christmas he named Carol for Christmas .carol…but she died. Sorry to move from the subject but it’s fun.

        1. LoneRogue Post author

          Rose some times now I hit those senior moments BUT a few years ago I would have said emphatically YES. And even today I remember most.
          nelson Eddy and Rosemarie were a little before my time but my dad and mother talked about them so I know a little.

          My time started just about when Stan Kenton, Maynard Ferguson, Miles Davis and those were the top jazz in records and just before we all got television. Those little snowy screens.

  4. LoneRogue Post author

    Nice to know we have that love of music in common. My world would be bleak without it. You didn’t mention your favorite kind of music and I’m curious. Except for the latest youthful kinds of… music(?), I like a very wide array of sounds,

    1. CSweet51

      Lone, I know we didn’t start off on a good foot, but I too grew up in the Chicago area, I attended many concerts, plays, operas and ballets down town. To this day I love all of it! Sadly I now live in a small town in Wisconsin and the culture bug seems to have been squashed here. 🙁

      1. LoneRogue Post author

        Chicago was a fantastic place for all kinds of music and culture. I lived there or at least close (16 miles west of the lake) in 1969. Saw Segovia, Oscar Peterson, Solti and orchestra and more. Thankfully we don’t need our neighbors to enjoy good music. Mine would drive me nuts with all R&R.

  5. 5mintbreak

    Ah Lone, ‘music soothes or calms the angry beast’ is a very old saying. For me I find it at times very relaxing but at time brings back too many sad memories, depends on one’s mood at time I guess. For myself I prefer the music of bygone years, the modern loud noisy arrangements, the singers screaming rather than singing, do not appeal to me at all. Perhaps that is showing my age!

    1. LoneRogue Post author

      Memories are flowing like mad when I listen to music too. Unlike you, sadness and joy of memories are both something I want to experience. They give me pleasure just to know I still can feel all those emotions. I hope that stays with me till the end.

        1. 5mintbreak

          Lone, did you misunderstand me, I love music and a lot of my favourites are sad songs, however when I am down in spirit if I play them it only makes my down spirit lower! so I then shift to happy, jolly lively tunes and that brightens my day! Smile the the world smiles with you! Another day I will play my sad songs and enjoy them.

          1. LoneRogue Post author

            I did understand. I didn’t mean you should not feel sad I feel sad too thinking of so many things of the past. Somehow I just feel glad I can still have these strong feelings for things past. You are indicating that you go through ups and downs and so do I. Thanks for your responses here and elsewhere 5mintbreak.

  6. roseinbloom

    Artifice, Lonerogue, people can have very different opinion than yours and still be totally honest in what they believe. I am an extremely honest person, but I feel no need to “expose artifice” unless that person is directly harming me by telling untruths. I usually try to stay away from people that are just plain mean-spirited. I am left wing politically, that does not make me blind or insane or exposed in any way. You may be right wing. I don’t even need to counter your opinions. I do need to feel free to state my own. The first right we were given in our constitution is freedom of speech. If we don’t talk, how will we learn?

  7. Tommy H

    I have seen many uncalled for moments of unkindness, back stabbing, lies to hurt others for no good reason, I now listen to people but see their comments different to what they say. I have a theory now which is We seem to love war with each others and as this is now mostly unnecessary we try to find other ways to hurt.

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