There’s always a reason ,behind a story
What makes people to constantly seek love ? What makes others keep love away?
These are the questions I’ve been asking myself … Why does it hurt me when married people flaunt their affairs , even people I have never met . After all I don’t know them or their spouses …why then does it touch me , why do I hurt ? I don’t know their story or what makes them behave that way . However in a love triangle there’s always someone who suffers , I have no doubt about that . I’m not trying to be righteous ,or sound like a prude or anything else other than trying to find out why do I feel this way . And then it came to me just like a flash… back to when I was about eight years old .
My mum was having an affair with our next door neighbor , a young tall and handsome policeman , he swept her right off her feet …and she used to spend at his place what it seemed to me.. the whole day
There were five of us children I was the second oldest ,the youngest about two . I have a blurry vision of what it was like for me then …the house was a mess and us children were
neglected … pretty much left to defend for ourselves . I don’t remember if I was hungry but I know I was dirty…,because I remember my teacher asking me to stay behind after school because she wanted to talk to me .
She asked me why I was going to school so dirty , I didn’t know what to say , so I said I fell on the way to school … She pointed out ,my hair ,my neck ,my hands ,my face , my clothes ,etc…I wanted to die right there and then .
I remember walking home from school and feeling so alone … Looking back now I remember I felt like a zombie , devoid of all feelings ,I didn’t live … I just existed . And I was only eight !
Eventually my mother took the youngest child with her and left home to get away from her lover .And straighten up I guess …We were placed in foster homes for a year , my parents moved house ,got back together and we were all reunited ,but in no way was it a happily ever after ending to our story , but it was considerably better .
This is only a small but significant part of my childhood that was pivotal in shaping who I am today , and influenced many if not all of my decisions about love , children , home … loyalty …fidelity and commitment …
Commitment to my spouse ,my home, my job, and most of all… my children .
I am a perceptive person ,I know I am. I also know I have an analytical personality , I always want to know the why in everything , this I feel, is a blessing ,because it helps me enormously to deal with the many obstacles thrown my way on my journey through life , free myself… and move on .
Of course it’s not always as simple as it sounds . But being aware of what makes me tick
Helps me to be compassionate and non judgmental towards others ,because there’s always a reason….behind a story .
Thank you for sharing your story. I don’t know what to say. You have overcome some major issues and that seems to have made you stronger and you used the knowledge you gained to better yourself and to understand others. You are an amazing woman. Again I thank you.
I respect your honesty, nmod…and how you used your experience of life….and your knowledge of yourself, to influence your path. Your compassion is admirable- we should try never to judge other people, we cannot know what may lie behind their words or actions.
Thank you for your honesty and humanity
Mx
in my younger days there were a lot of families like that where we used to live. i was one of the lucky ones whos parents stayed together. sad story sweetheart.
Yes, there’s always a reason behind every story. Thank God your learning was a positive one and it has shaped the way you look at issues. Thank you for sharing this story nmod
HUgs ..Hugs ..Hugs.. you are a wonderful person Norma i admire you,through all your struggles a great, loyal ,caring, person has emerged.Glad to ber able to chat to you and be friends.
Norma, I was just shocked when I read your heartfelt testimony. I would have never guessed that you had such a childhood. Your feet are so planted on the ground. You are very stable and soo giving. How lucky you are to have come through this part of your life as strong as you have. But, isn’t it wonderful to look back and say “I made it” !!!! You are one of a kind Norma, and believe me, you have a magical way with words and how to use them in situations that to some, are hard to express. That is a gift, and you have soo many others. Compassion is another!!!! Ahhhh… I could sing your praises all day long!!! You are in my thoughts ….xx
Thanx for sharing that with us NMOD….it is very nice of you to be so honest about your past and I am glad you have come out of the other side stronger for it…(((((((hugs)))))))
Thank you Nmod….. I guess I was lucky that my parents broke up a year after I married…(((HUGS)))…You are such a good person.
I appreciate your courage to share your troubled and painful past, and your wounds, convictions and strength that came from it. Your story is very well expressed and is helpful to me. I am sure it will be to others, too.
I would not relive my childhood but it made me stronger. It is experiences like yours that give us the strength we have today. As a youngster, I told myself that I would be kind of parent I wish I had had. My mother was too young when she had children, she lacked education and skills she needed to be a parent to a six children. Understanding why she did what she did helped me. I understand, I don’t excuse it. Be proud that you decided to break the cycle and become a loving person and parent. Your sharing your story will help others who have not been able to open up. Bless you…
Thanks so much for your blog Norma, and for sharing the trials you endured throughout your childhood.
My story is the opposite to yours – my parents stayed together, but oh how I wished they’d divorce and Dad would push off. It was a home of silent discord, icy cold contempt and a very unhappy Mum whom I adored, and an abusive father.
I never judge when people stray from their marriages – sometimes their situation is miserable beyond description, their partner doesn’t keep his or her part of the bargain, and abuse is going on – not necessarily physical abuse, but emotional.
I wrote a blog about a couple I knew where the wife had a rampant affair with the ship’s officer on the ship she went on back to England to look after her ailing Mum. She was vilified, ostracised and treated like a pariah, but guess what? HER MARRIAGE HAD NEVER BEEN CONSUMMATED – her husband was totally impotent.
When one partner strays, there’s nearly always far more going on in the marital home than meets the eye.
I’m not saying that was the case with your Mum. Only she would know why she did what she did, but in her case, what I find unforgivable, was that she neglected her children – there was no excuse for that, none whatsoever – they should’ve come first.
Thanks for sharing.
Norma , What a heartfelt story and thanks for sharing it with us. Hugs Marie
((((((hugs)))))) dear norma, thank you for sharing xxx
Such a sad story but such a positive ending, thank you for being so open.
It is this kind of childhood that in some ways makes us stronger but in others sets the path for our life ahead. I know that I am a stronger person now but I also know that if circumstances had been different in my childhood, things would have been better in my life today. I understand now why my parents turned to alcohol, but I detested them for it for a long time. In hindsight many things become clearer, but sadness always remains. Thank you norma for sharing this part of your life with us ((((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))))))))))) xo